Zandy. Sigh. Now all I can think of is what a People magazine cover would have looked like if Zsa Zsa Gabor and Andy Griffith had the real-life Green Acres love affair America never knew it needed. ANYWHO.
Despite moving him into her home and thinking that her Eliza Doolittle plot was working, Lea’s ex-boo and ex-gigolo (not to Lea…that we know of!) Matthew Paetz dumped her back in 2016, and it seems like she’s finally ready to take the Barbra Streisand vinyl off the player and join the world in hope of a good deep dicking.
Jessica Lange’s red carpet tiremarks and the clothing exec were spotted holding hands in New York. That obviously means they are dating. Or Lea just needed help standing up after being told she didn’t have to tip Zandy after they parted ways. Here they are together.
Lea Michele and Zandy Reich spotted in New York yesterday pic.twitter.com/YfXEsgz1m9
— Glee Memories (@MrDavidMichele) July 19, 2017
Lea previously dated the late Corey Monteith, Lipstick Jungle alum and courtside panty pleaser Robert Buckley, and of course, Matthew, whom Us Weekly refers to as a model, and I’ll refer to as “For a good time, call.”
Madonna stopped the drip, drip, drip of her past from continuing to ooze out this week by getting a judge to put a temporary halt on an auction filled with her ghosts of Christmas past. Items like letters Madge wrote claiming Whitney Houston and Sharon Stone were mediocre (blasphemy! That Basic Instinct snatch shot was anything but mediocre!) and even her old panties were up for grabs. Former friend/art (and apparently lingerie) collector Darlene Lutz was behind the auction, and TMZ says she’s swatting back at the Material Girl.
Darlene says she and Madonna settled a bitter dispute back in 2004. While she doesn’t say what the fight was about, I imagine it had something to do with Darlene giving her thoughts on American Life. The panty peddler claims the settlement included her giving Madonna cash and, in return, Madge wouldn’t go after Darlene for anything. That’s more open-ended than a b-hole at Twink Wink in P-town! I have a hard time believing Kabbalah’s favorite Kween would ever pull a punch like that. This is the same hawk who charges $200 for nosebleed seats!
Darlene adds that she has the right to do whatever with Madge’s filthy drawers since they were a gift of sorts courtesy of the United States Postal Service: “If Madonna truly wanted privacy, then mailing her lingerie was not the way to go.” Mailing her panties? Now THAT sounds more like Madge!
Chanel better shutter its windows in the Place Vendôme, Louis Vuitton can lock up on the Champs-Élysées, and Dior can certainly close its door. Why, you ask? Because Celine Dion’s reign over Paris continues, and she’s sucking all the glamour up for herself! Celine got tired of all the snotty Vogue writers blabbing about her on Instagram, so she decided to grace our souls with a visual performance.
I routinely have to shimmy past a few, uh, incapacitated individuals on my stoop before I can get inside each night and pass out on the couch watching reruns of Designing Women (ain’t Boston glam?!). Photos of Aaron Carter surfaced after a DUI arrest at an AutoZone in Cornelia, GA on Saturday, and, well, let’s just say that looked like a face that had hung around “Aaron’s Party” too long with my neighbors on the stoop.
While the New York Times keeps its snooty ostrich head in the sand, waiting until the twins (pictured above, performing with Beyoncé at the 2017 Grammys) have graduated college before they report this, E! is spilling all the honey from the Beyhive. Sit down, everybody, because we have the next steps of royal succession!
Girls do run the world in the Carter household, because Rumi Carter is next in line after Blue Ivy. The newest girl Beyoffspring was the first of the twins to do that annoying “Single Ladies” shimmy out of ‘Yonce. Rumi popped out at 5:13AM on June 13 and her bother Sir arrived a minute later.
Because they couldn’t figure out what albums to plug into the kids’ names this go-round (Lemonade Magna Carta seems ostentatious, even for Jay and Bey standards), the new duo isn’t getting middle names (“Nyah nyah! Mom and Dad love you less!” –Blue Ivy in three years). Don’t fret, Sir and Rumi! There are two of you, and one of her. Just ask Mom about Auntie Michelle, and we’ll see who gets the last laugh.
BUT WHAT ABOUT HAY-LOVING HILDI?!
Today’s home improvement shows are visual Ambien, and all about how perfect couples spend gobs of dough to flip shitty houses in the Valley, turning them into massive temples of beige. But back in the early 2000s, one design gem by the name of Paige Davis was all about screwing over your next door neighbor, with using not much more than your 7-year-old’s allowance as a decorating budget.