Even though Prince George graced Princess Eugenie with his presence at her wedding because he knew he needed to do something to drum up ratings since even the BBC wasn’t wanting to air it. The future King of England is usually a ham when in public, which is refreshing since THE QUEEN isn’t exactly known for making weird noises and faces at anyone unless it’s when Donald Trump keeps her ass waiting around. Anyway, at today’s Eh Royal Wedding between Eugenie and her cousin (distant, but who cares! It’ll never get old!) Jack Brooksbank, George decided to go searching for some royal gold…up his nose.
Holograms are best served on the back of elementary school trapper keepers and at CNN on election night – but nowhere else! Did “Whitney Houston”on The Voice teach us nothing?! Amy Winehouse may have passed away in 2011, but her father has tried to milk off her success ever since, which is why North Londoners have to face a statue that’s supposed to be Amy but really looks like Marge Simpson in a mini-dress on their way to work each day. Mitch Winehouse’s latest scheme is to embark “Amy” on a world tour by way of the same hologram technology used for late stars like Tupac and Roy Orbison. What could possibly go wrong?!
It’s hard to believe that it was only 2017 when models like Bella Hadid and Kendall Jenner were promoting something so fake, even Sheree Whitfield from Real Housewives of Atlanta laughed at the absurdity from the couch inside her somehow-completed Chateau Sheree. The Fyre Festival was supposed to be highbrow Coachella, if you consider being forced to share an island with a bunch of basic bitches listening to Blink-182 as highbrow. There was a whole narrative about how the island belonged to Pablo Escobar, the food would be gourmet, and the accommodations would be ultra-luxurious.
Well, the island in your kitchen has about as many ties to Pabo Escobar to the one in the Fyre Festival. None of it ended up being real, and the tricks who actually made it to the island were greeted with what were essentially refugee tents and basic sandwiches. The whole thing was orchestrated by a NYC douchebag, er, bro named Billy McFarland (pictured above looking demonic), and he pleaded guilty to two counts of wire fraud in March and two counts of fraud in July. He was sentenced today. Continue reading
Usually an Ariana Grande video features her whipping that ponytail back and forth and forgetting how to pronounce at least a third of the consonants in her lyrics. That has made it where I honestly can’t tell the difference in any of her videos, but Ariana is on to my ass. “Breathin” is the latest single off her latest album, and the video finally dropped. BUT! Instead of featuring herself in the video, Ariana put in her pet pig Piggy Smalls!
Based on the film quality, I guess the Grande family still has a Panasonic VHS handheld recorder because it looks like this was a straight-up DIY music video set. It looks like it was shot at the apartment Ariana shares with Pete Davidson. Piggy is a new addition to the Grande-Davidson household, as Ariana only just started showing him off on Instagram in September. Pete has already gotten a tattoo of him, which shouldn’t surprise anyone. I just hope they show the same kind of love to their bird: TuSquawk. I know, I know: I’ll let myself out.
I figured the first rule of Taylor Swift friendship was you don’t talk about Taylor Swift friendship, but Lena Dunham doesn’t play by rules. When she was on Andy Cohen’s shit-stirring show known as Watch What Happens Live, she was asked to play “Plead The Fifth” with fellow guest Maggie Gyllenhaal. While her answer for who was the most misogynistic in Hollywood (Daniel Tosh for body shaming her), even I let out an anxious squeak when Andy asked Lena to say who was her least-favorite Taylor ex…while she sat next to the sister of one of Taylor’s exes!
The ink may still be drying, but Jennifer Garner is officially single and ready to mingle her way to a relationship that maybe requires just a teeny less amount of time being Mama Bear like she was with Ben Affleck as of late. Who can blame her. With all that cash back and travel points she gets from Capital One, she’d be the best girlfriend to have!