When Michael Avenatti showed up to last night’s MTV VMAs, most people wondered why his ass was there. I mean, beyond just to be the DADDIEST of pieces of daddy eye candy. While Michael spends his days dragging Donald Trump through the mud on behalf of his client, Stormy Daniels, he also basically said the VMAs are a great way to connect with young-ass voters who don’t get their jollies off to the primetime lineup of MSNBC. Yes, he’s actually taking this presidential run seriously. Sadly, kicking off his campaign didn’t include a cameo in “Chun-Li” with Nicki Minaj.
Asia Argento Has Issued A Statement That Claims Anthony Bourdain Initiated Her Sexual Assault Settlement
Asia Argento may have just used up the last of any public goodwill she had earned, by dragging her recently deceased boyfriend Anthony Bourdain into the sexual assault scandal that surfaced against her this week. Asia stands accused of sexually assaulting 17-year-old Jimmy Bennett in 2013, not long after she made allegations of her own against Harvey Weinstein. Jimmy was paid $380,000 in hush money, a fact that was made public when somebody showed the New York Times incriminating photographs of Asia and Jimmy in a presumed post-coital embrace. Now Asia has come forward with a statement in her defense. One that claims that the pay-off was all Tony’s idea. Prepare to be disturbed.
Obviously nothing can ever top the legendary sequinned charisma of Lil’ Kim’s purple nipple cover at the 1999 MTV VMA’s, but that’s not nearly a good enough excuse for people not to try. An iconic look is like rolling dice; you might wear something that ends up in one of those Best Looks of ALL TIME galleries for the rest of the internet’s existence, or you might be just wearing clothing. Cardi B could have shocked eyes by showing up in big hair, a dramatic cape, and no pants, but – yawn – been there, done that. Instead, Cardi B made her first red carpet appearance since giving birth last month in a purple gown by Nicolas Jebran and a pussycat wig. Cardi is giving me eccentric Beverly Hills housewife at a charity gala trying to steal the spotlight from her rival Bitsy Saint Claire. Wait a second – rich, attention-getting, short dark hair, daughter’s name spelled with an unnecessary K? Kris Jenner must be so flattered right now.
Last night at the MTV VMAs, Jennifer Lopez received the Michael Jackson Video Vanguard Award, a trophy presented to recognize an artist’s accomplishments in music videos. I’m surprised that it took so long for MTV to present JLo with the award, since I firmly believe that JLo’s pink velour short-short tracksuit ensemble in the video for “I’m Real” is about as iconic as Michael Jackson turning into a zombie in “Thriller.” Or maybe it is to me, considering it inspired my best friend to work an identical look nearly every day that same summer, despite the fact that she almost caught heatstroke twice from wearing so much velour.
JLo performed a medley of her hits and when she was done, she accepted her award by thanking everyone in her life, including her family and her “two little angels” Max and Emme. Then JLo thanked her boyfriend of about a year and a half, A-Rod. And much like any time JLo and A-Rod are near a photographer, she got cheesy.
Cast your mind forward to a not too distant future. It’s Christmas morning, your loving family is gathered around a brightly decorated tree. You built this family. Your hard work and dedication have brought you and yours prosperity in these, your golden years. Your great-granddaughter excitedly shakes a box she’s received as a gift from you. You can’t hide your smile as you imagine the excitement she will feel when she opens the gift you have given her. Your littlest angel gives you an eager smile as she gently tears away the colorful paper. Inside she finds her inheritance. A box of mint condition Nicki Minaj commemorative coins from the Franklin Mint. You feel a pang in your chest which you initially take to be pride. Alas, it is not. It’s a heart attack brought on by a future of Nicki Minaj’s creation. You die a happy man/woman.
BuzzFeed is reporting that Kendall Jenner, the highest paid model to ever lazily stroll down a catwalk or give absolutely ZERO emotion and intrigue in a photograph, has stepped in a heaping pile of “I’m an ignorant fool” shit. She recently spoke with Love magazine about how great she is at staring into lenses for money and said something that her fellow models took rather harshly.