Category: You Tried It
Josh Duggar’s Legal Team Is Trying To Keep His Former Molestation Case Out Of His Child Porn Trial
Josh Duggar’s legal team is doing the absolute most to make their client not look like a creep of the highest order. And so far, it’s not exactly working. Back in April, Josh was charged with receiving and possessing child pornography, the details of which, according to court documents and a Homeland Security Investigations Special Agent, are extremely upsetting. Josh’s lawyers tried to get the case dismissed on a technicality, saying there wasn’t enough evidence. When that didn’t work, they tried to get evidence thrown out, saying that a picture of his hands was taken without a warrant (court denied that one too). Now his lawyers are trying to make sure the jury knows absolutely nothing about Josh’s well-established past as a child molester.
Allison Mack Might Be Trying To Get A Lighter Sentence Because She Turned On Keith Raniere
A little over two years ago, Allison Mack, formerly of Smallville fame and one-time face of cult recruitment, decided to cut to the chase, avoid a messy trial, and take a plea deal for her involvement in the NXIVM sex trafficking case. Allison wasn’t about to give the performance of her life on the defense stand (to be fair, her acting range isn’t much broader than being quirky around teenage Superman). So she pleaded guilty, likely in exchange for a shorter sentence in prison. Allison Mack is currently awaiting sentencing for her role in the NXIVM abuse, and prosecutors are trying to argue that she probably deserves a less-harsh sentence, due to her co-operation in putting NXIVM leader Keith Raniere behind bars. Gosh, an evil cult leader just can’t find loyal henchwomen any more, can they.
Grimes Tried To Explain Why AI Technology Is Good For Communism, Subsequently Proved She Doesn’t Know What Communism Is
If you were hoping for someone to explain the concept of communism in a way that is even more confusing than the pronunciation of the name X Æ A-12 Musk, well I have some good news for you. Grimes herself is here to do it! Does Grimes have any formal education in political science? No, she’s a college dropout who makes alien birthday party music. But, she used to fancy herself as anti-imperialist back in the day, before she started dating tech billionaire and alleged union hater Elon Musk, so she clearly knows just enough to fake it on TikTok. Like the word “communism,” for starters. And…that’s actually all she really seems to know if that TikTok is any proof.
Open Post: Hosted By An Exquisitely Realistic Carpool-Lane Dummy
When you’re stuck in traffic in L.A. and staring at the people in the next car to see if the driver is trying to shamelessly text, eat, zhuzh their hair, take a selfie, and steer the wheel all at once, you automatically assume the dumbass in question is a human being, because only humans are stupid enough to multi-task like that in the driver’s seat while the car is in motion.
The passenger seat, however, is where criminal activity really has the freedom to bloom where it is planted, blissfully free of restrictions, and where all the magic happens. On Wednesday, CHP Officer S. Sullinger of Baldwin Park, CA was treated to some of this behavior when pulling over a truck in the HOV (High-Occupancy Vehicle) lane because the windows were tinted too dark to see if there was a passenger inside. There was a passenger inside but the passenger was a real dummy.
Open Post: Hosted By The Viking Haircut That Grimes Tried To Give Her Son
Not even the cute but bizarrely-named baby of Grimes and billionaire Elon Musk can escape the grim realities of lockdown, among them amateur home haircuts. At this point, most of us are besties with our split ends, confide our most shameful secrets to them, and may or may not have given them feisty but approachable nicknames to call them before tucking them in at night. Don’t judge! Some of us are more prone to loneliness and all the weird shit that tags along with it.
Never one to back away from weird shit, Grimes fetched the scissors and decided to help 8-month-old son, X AE A-Xii (pronounced “X-Ash-A-Twelve,” and they had to remove the ligature “Æ” to make it legal for a California birth certificate) look like whatever she thinks a Viking looks like just months out of the delivery hatch. Fortunately, Little X, as she calls him, is blissfully clueless about his botched ‘do and among all the things he’ll be seeking therapy for in 18 years, this probably won’t be one of them.
Ghislaine Maxwell Was Denied Bail Again
Ghislaine Maxwell really, really isn’t having a good time in jail. She’s been ordered to remain in jail in Brooklyn while she waits for her trial to begin in July of 2021. But Ghislaine wants out! Ghislaine couldn’t bear to think ringing in New Year’s Eve to the sound of her toothbrush clanging against the metal rim of her in-cell toilet, her only champagne option being some foil-capped apple juice that got questionably fizzy after being stored under her bed. So Ghislaine’s lawyers proposed a $28.5 million bail package that would release her into house arrest. It was her second attempt at a bail plan. Well, a judge denied that.