Open Post: Hosted By An Exquisitely Realistic Carpool-Lane Dummy

February 27, 2021 / Posted by:

When you’re stuck in traffic in L.A. and staring at the people in the next car to see if the driver is trying to shamelessly text, eat, zhuzh their hair, take a selfie, and steer the wheel all at once, you automatically assume the dumbass in question is a human being, because only humans are stupid enough to multi-task like that in the driver’s seat while the car is in motion.

The passenger seat, however, is where criminal activity really has the freedom to bloom where it is planted, blissfully free of restrictions, and where all the magic happens. On Wednesday, CHP Officer S. Sullinger of Baldwin Park, CA was treated to some of this behavior when pulling over a truck in the HOV (High-Occupancy Vehicle) lane because the windows were tinted too dark to see if there was a passenger inside. There was a passenger inside but the passenger was a real dummy.

According to UPI:

The California Highway Patrol said a driver using the high-occupancy vehicle lanes of a highway was found to actually be traveling alone, except for “one of the best dummies” police had ever seen.

The CHP said an officer stationed in Baldwin Park pulled over a truck traveling in an HOV lane on Wednesday because the vehicle’s windows were tinted too dark for the officer to see if the driver had a passenger.

The officer soon discovered the apparent “man” sitting in the passenger seat of the truck was actually a highly realistic mannequin, complete with a COVID-19 face mask.

The CHP said the mannequin was “by far, one of the best dummies we have ever seen.”

This must happen routinely in Calabasas, where Kris Jenner and her hellspawn take to their vehicles every day, and it’s doubtful whether any of them would qualify as 100% human anymore. The police force over there wouldn’t even blink an eye at what appears to be a rubber dummy in either the passenger or driver’s seat. They’d just whoosh by while waving and saying, “Oh, hi, Kylie.

But Officer Sullinger, clearly not accustomed to such refined enhancements of the human body, gave the truck the ol’ side-eye and said “Not today.” Turns out it wasn’t the shady driver’s first time at the passenger-dummy rodeo:

The driver said he had been using the dummy to travel in HOV lanes for over a year before he got caught.

The driver was issued a ticket for an HOV lane violation, which carries a maximum fee of $490.

Carpool lane passenger dummies aren’t new, of course, but this rubber ode to realism really raises the bar for anyone hoping to get away with it and restores one’s faith in human ingenuity after their driver’s seat antics threatened to destroy it.

Pic:  Twitter/CHP Baldwin Park

Our commenting rules: Don't be racist or bigoted, or post comments like "Who cares?", or have multiple accounts, or repost a comment that was deleted by a mod, or post NSFW pics/videos/GIFs, or go off topic when not in an Open Post, or post paparazzi/event/red carpet pics from photo agencies due to copyright infringement issues. Also, promoting adblockers, your website, or your forum is not allowed. Breaking a rule may result in your Disqus account getting permanently or temporarily banned. New commenters must go through a period of pre-moderation. And some posts may be pre-moderated so it could take a minute for your comment to appear if it's approved. If you have a question or an issue with comments, email: michaelk@dlisted.com

src="https://c.statcounter.com/922697/0/f674ac4a/1/"
alt="drupal analytics" >