Keanu Reeves is back and ready to make you like him even more! Keanu has cemented himself as a beloved figure on the internet thanks to the Sad Keanu meme (or Hungry Keanu according to him) and for just being a cool guy. For a person who’s been in Hollywood as long as he has, I think people always find it shocking yet refreshing that Keanu seems like a normal nice dude. Case in point: after being invited to a stranger’s wedding reception, the Matrix actor actually showed up. Keanu is better at RSVPing to wedding invitations than some family members!
For the technologically challenged, newfangled computers and other machinery can be awfully stressful. How am I supposed to know the difference between RAM and ROM?! My knowledge is limited to “googling computers for dummies” when I can’t understand the witchcraft that goes on behind my screen. There are dozens of us out there including meteorologist Greg Dutra. While he might know everything there is to know about cumulonimbus clouds, he apparently isn’t as familiar with touchscreens.
After a rough couple of weeks (centuries?) for America, it’s comforting to at least be able to count on our kindly Canadian prince, Keanu Reeves, to continue his inadvertent quest to deliver us truly wholesome content to help restore some faith in humanity. Keanu has won over the cold hearts of many an icy betch by doing things like keeping his hands to himself, taking fellow stranded plane passengers on a Bakersfield bus tour, having a significant other that’s his own age (in Hollywood in 2022?!), and looking melancholy while eating ice cream in solitude at a Baskin Robbins (after leaving a great tip, of course). This time, Keanu once again proved that he’s a kind, patient, thoughtful soul after a moment with a young fan in the airport baggage claim ended up going viral.
Retro fantasy fuckboy and current darling granddaddy, Henry Winkler, has mastered the art of implying “fuck you” in a very subtle way while still coming off sweet and endearing, like that time he showed up Trump by drinking a glass of water one-handed with ease, or that other time when he seemingly shaded Tom Hanks by saying Hooch was his favorite while briefly working on Turner & Hooch. If you’re an Arthur Fonzarelli fanatic who’s dreamt of watching Henry twerk it in only a leather jacket to Closer by Nine Inch Nails, then you’re out of luck, because he said that he won’t be TikTok dancing to any songs with “fuck” in them.
Psst, I got what you need. I heard you were looking for some of that good wholesome content. And it’s not that nasty shit they’re cutting with blackface and coronavirus or whatever. I got the pure shit, straight from the streets of Berlin. According to Us Weekly, Keanu Reeves was photographed giggling with his girlfriend Alexandra Grant as filming on Matrix 4 resumed in Berlin. I know, right! Giggling? In this economy?!?