Alexandra Grant Says That Every Single Person She Knew Called Her After She Went Public With Her Boyfriend Keanu Reeves

March 12, 2020 / Posted by:

Alexandra Grant, artist and girlfriend to immortal prince Keanu Reeves, talked to British Vogue about her fancy life as an artiste and also about how she really burst onto the celebrity scene when it was revealed she was dating John Wick. And after the news broke she said that “every single person” she knew called her. They were obviously hitting her up to get her boyfriend to sign their Dogstar CD.

Last November, 55-year-old Keanu Reeves stunted with his girlfriend, 46-year-old Alexandra Grant, on the red carpet of the LACMA Art + Film Gala. The world nearly exploded from a 40-something movie star not dating a 19-year-old Instagram fame whore. But even though Alexandra and Keanu had been together for years, many people in her life didn’t know that and her phone blew up:

“I think every single person I knew called me in the first week of November, and that’s fascinating. But the question I’ve been asking in all of this is: “What is the opportunity for good?”

What?! No lifestyle blog?! Or shapewear line?! Or collection of butthole bronzers?! Get with the movie star girlfriend program, Alexandra! But Alexandra knows she’s not exactly a Kartrashian.

“I’m a 6ft 1in woman with white hair. You know, the idea of fitting in… If I wanted to look like Kim Kardashian, I would have to have surgery removing about a foot off my legs.”

Well, she’d have to remove a foot off her legs and have them stuffed into her ass.

Alexandra went on to talk about being an artist and how she’s showing some of her works at the Marfa Invitational in Texas. But who cares about that?! She was asked more about Keanu, specifically about marrying Keanu. She artistically dodged the question:

“Over a glass of wine… I would love to tell you. Love at every level is deeply important to my identity. How’s that for dodging the question? I do not believe that isolation is the way. There is a period of isolation that I do as a painter, but I deeply value the experience of being in relationships.”

But back to Alexandra’s friends calling her. All of those snooty art people have been exposed for reading InTouch and reading gossip blogs. Exposed! So there you go, if Keanu and Alexandra should break up and he starts dating you, you’ll need to change your number as though you just won the lottery or every motherfucker from your past will hit up. “Bitch, shut up, getting with Keanu is BETTER than winning the lottery” said every remaining Dogstar fan.

Pic: British Vogue

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