Henry Winkler Showed Donald Trump He’s Not The Only Septuagenarian Who Can Drink A Glass Of Water With One Hand

June 22, 2020 / Posted by:

Over the weekend as Donald Trump geared up for his big Tulsa campaign rally, I was bracing myself for the absolute worst. I can’t tell you how relieved I was to see it was a bigger flop than Ishtar. Not in my wildest dreams could have I imagined a more delightful outcome than Trump’s big rally turning out two sublime self-owns the likes of which haven’t been seen since that Nazi’s face melted off when he opened the Ark of the Covenant at that rally in Raiders of the Lost Ark. First, there was Trump’s 15-minute long explanation about why he walked down that ramp at West Point Academy the previous week, looking like Mr. Magoo in a whiteout wearing 6” heels. Then Trump tried his hand at prop comedy by proving he can drink a glass of water with one hand— a feat that was silently mocked by a lushly bearded Henry Winkler on Twitter.

In case you missed it yesterday, here’s Donald explaining how before, his arm was fatigued from too much saluting and he didn’t want to dribble water on his very expensive silk tie, but now, just watch him tip that glass back like a man with nothing to lose.

I mean, what is there to say? The President of the United States’ greatest accomplishment is taking a single sip of water without drowning or dribbling on his tie, and he knows it. Though his eyes were scrunched in mighty concentration and his lizard lipped finish betrayed the gargantuan effort it took, the result is undeniable. Donald took a sip of water and did not fuck it up. And so, with the bar set so low you need a pickaxe to find it, in comes The Fonz to jump over it like he did that man-eating shark.

Amazing. Such fluidity, both in the glass and in Henry’s sure and practiced deglutition. He just makes it look so easy! Compared to Donald, he’s the Hercules of hydration, the Moses of moisture and the Serena Williams of sipping. It’s quite a feat. Just look how much effort it took human battering ram Dave Bautista to do the same!

Just like Donald, it was a struggle, but he got there!

Pic: Twitter

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