Category: Unsolicited Advice
Kim Kardashian’s Advice To Business Women: Get Your Ass Up And Work
Kim Kardashian and her family have a new Hulu show that will premiere next month, The Kardashians. It’s a series that Kim and her sisters worked very hard to secure (aka Hulu rolled up to Kris Jenner’s house one day, popped open a briefcase stuffed full of money, and they all clapped with glee). Not to mention their previous show, Keeping Up With The Kardashians, which was secured thanks to plenty of hard work (yes, hard work. Have you ever operated a hand-held video camera while high on ecstasy?). So Kim knows a thing or two about the subject of work ethic. And according to the millionaire reality TV star-turned-billionaire reality TV star, there’s a very simple recipe for success. Step one: remove your ass from whatever surface it is currently seated. Step two: get that fucking ass to work. Simple!
Howard Stern Thinks Ellen DeGeneres Should Embrace Her Reputation As A Meanie
It’s probably safe to say that by now, just about everyone and their dog has heard the rumor that Ellen DeGeneres fakes the nice for TV while being a nightmare employer behind the scenes. I say “employer” specifically, because there are still some rich famous people out there who don’t seem to understand that someone could be both a good friend and a terrible boss. And of course, there are some people who are happy to stick their fingers in their ears and say, “Hashtag I stand by Ellennnnnnn.” But lots of people have read the allegations from past and present Ellen employees, and all the first-person stories on social media.
I don’t know what kind of reputation damage control Ellen has been doing to prepare for her return to TV this fall – maybe taking some online classes with the Care Bears or practicing how to hold a smile for 60 minutes. Howard Stern has decided to offer up a little advice to Ellen. And Howard thinks Ellen should just scrap the whole nice act and lean into her alleged reputation as an asshole.
Open Post: Hosted By Martha Stewart’s Messy Scrambled Eggs Hack
You know, despite their low-simmering rivalry, Martha Stewart and Gwyneth Paltrow really aren’t all that different. They both sport WASPy flaxen locks, know the proper way to care for cashmere, and they both sleep like babies at night knowing that there is one correct way to do things, and that’s their way. And they both also have a thing for steam. While Gwyneth thinks you should steam your eggs (if you have them) indirectly through your vagina and up your fallopian tubes, Martha’s method gets right to the point. Martha recommends steaming your eggs using a cappuccino machine.
Jenna Elfman Says Scientology Is The Key To A Long Lasting Marriage
Want to know the secret to a long and happy marriage? Just ask Jenna Elfman. She and her husband Bodhi Elfman have been married for 23 years, and according to Page Six, it’s because they’re both #thots4thetans. Jenna recently appeared on some talk show nobody’s ever heard of (People Magazine’s “Chatter”? Anyone? Didn’t think so. I thought if you boosted Scientology, they’d in turn boost your career) and proclaimed that she and Bodhi’s mutual love of Thetan scented candles and wholesale rejection of antipsychotics are what keep the romance alive. Or if not the romance alive, keep the contract valid.