Category: Tom Hiddleston
Don’t Worry, Tom Hiddleston And Taylor Swift Are Still In Love And Shit
Either I haven’t noticed Tom Hiddleston’s bulge situation until now or that’s an air bubble. Or maybe he’s wearing the chastity belt that Taylor Swift and him agreed to wear until after their wedding on the Emmys red carpet next month.
Before Kim Kartrashian exposed Taylor Swift as a low-down dirty liar, she and Tom Hiddleston were hitting the ho stroll all the time and it felt like not a day went by when you didn’t find yourself dry heaving out a cloud of UGH while looking at pictures of them being all lovey. They spread their organic love all through NYC, Rhode Island, Nashville, Los Angeles, Italy, England and Australia, where they stayed for a bit while he shot Thor 3. Recently, they’ve only been spotted out in the wild here and there, and on Monday night, Tom left L.A. without the bland growth named Taylor Swift attached to his side. People says that Tom went back to Australia to shoot more scenes for Thor 3 and he went all by myself!
Meanwhile, In The Heart-Shaped Love Bubble That Taylor And Tom Are Living In….
Last night at a Drake show in Chicago, Kanye West gave his wife a gold star in Snatchchatting and said that nobody can talk shit about him anymore (we can and we will). As Kanye showed the people that delusion still powers his brain, his nemesis Taylor Swift was all the way in Santa Monica, CA having a romantic dinner with Tom Hiddleston at the chain restaurant Hillstone. Sources say (no they didn’t) that the dinner was so romantic that Tom only looked down once at the Countdown app on his phone to see how much longer he has on his contract with her. Okay, he may have also looked at it real quick while she texted her publicist to let the paps know that they were about to sashay out.
Tom Hiddleston Returns To Los Angeles Right After Taylor Swift Was “Snubbed” By The MTV VMAs
Earlier today, I made a joke about Tom Hiddleston’s “screaming internally” face (copyright: Michael) while talking about Ed Sheeran’s maybe-marriage. Only a few hours later I stumbled upon this picture of him making a Level-6 “screaming internally” face while boarding a flight to LAX last night. Coincidence? No, probably not. I’m sure anyone could have predicted Tom would make that face on his way back to Los Angeles. After all, If I knew I was a 5-hour flight away from my next round of LOOK AT HOW IN LOVE WE ARE!! photo ops with Taylor Swift, I’d make that same face too.
Tom flew back to Los Angeles last night from New York, and The Daily Mail thinks he rushed back to “console” Taylor after finding out that Slytherin’s mascot didn’t receive a single MTV VMA nomination yesterday. But Gossip Cop says that Taylor doesn’t need to be consoled and she isn’t unleashing a bunch of PG expletives while throwing all the MTV VMAs she won last year into her pool. Despite UsWeekly’s report that MTV pulled a “…and none for Gretchen Weiners” on Taylor this year, she wasn’t actually snubbed. Gossip Cop says Taylor never submitted any of her eligible videos. They also say she wasn’t planning on attending this year’s ceremony since she spent the majority of last year touring rather than making videos.
Okay, but that doesn’t mean she’s not upset. Just because Taylor didn’t submit videos doesn’t mean she wasn’t expecting a couple nominations anyway. It’s like when someone invites you to their birthday party and says, “no gifts“, but you know they’re secretly wishing for a 6-foot-tall stack of presents. If Taylor’s not actually at home sulking, then why wasn’t she taking advantage of all the photographers at LAX last night? She could have waited for Tom at the arrivals gate with a handwritten sign that says “YOU’RE THE ONLY VMA I NEED: VERY MASCULINE AGENT” before jumping into his open arms. Really missed an opportunity, you two.
Pics: Splash
ToTay’s Love Is So Strong And Pure That Nothing, Not Even Kimye’s Betrayal, Can Break It
The Daily Mail has thrilling pictures of the diabolical piece of julienned jicama Taylor Swift smiling while walking with Tom Hiddleston in Los Angeles yesterday. Yes, the people of the Gold Coast in Australia can once again leave their homes without a bottle of Pepto on them, because now that Tom and Taylor are gone, they won’t get hit with the heaves while watching those two display their love in a photo-op.
Tom has finished up filming his scenes for Thor 3 in Australia, so he and Taylor are back in California, where they’ll probably spend the next few weeks with a choreographer and a body language expert who will coach them on how to look so naturally in love while posing on the red carpet at the Emmys in September. A source tells E! News that Tom and Tay are still very much together and the entire scandal of her getting exposed as a liar by Kim Kartrashian, of all tricks, didn’t dim the love he has in his heart for her.
Taylor is still painting a thick layer of victim all over herself and thinks that Kimye are just using her for publicity (well, yeah, but pot…kettle). She has vowed to never speak to Kanye again! And Tom has vowed to stand by Taylor forever! A source read from the script that Taylor’s publicist gave them, I mean, spilled out these spontaneous words to E!:
“Tom is not annoyed by the negative media attached to Taylor. He knew that would come with the course of dating her. He has been supporting her and enjoying the time he’s having with her. They’re having a great time and are always laughing.
Taylor and Tom are in love with each other. He told her she is the kind of woman he wants to spend his life with. They have gotten very close. She is enjoying the time off from working. She has been writing during her travels, and Tom has been an inspiration in her music.”
What I’m getting from that statement is that if there is a relationship contract, that shit is no joke and the out clause portion of it probably reads:
ONLY DEATH! BLEHEHEHEHEHEHEE!
Pic: Splash
Tom Hiddleston Says That His And Taylor Swift’s Love Is Real And Genuine….
In that picture, Tom Hiddleston is probably silently screaming, “heeeeeeeeeeelp,” into the camera, but let’s just pretend he’s doing the, “Bitch, stop pulling my dick,” squint so you don’t have to. Thanks, Tom!
Ever since Taylor Swift and Tom Hiddleston’s love grew amongst the algae on the beach rocks in Rhode Island, some figured that their union has as much real weight as the relationship contract they signed and others thought that maybe she’s doing some kind of performance art/video thing. But Tom Hiddleston says that all of us doubting bitches need to delete our Tumblrs that are covered with timelines and pictures proving this shit is fake, because it’s not a publicity stunt. The Hollywood Reporter talked to Tom by phone from Australia, where he’s shooting Thor 3, to congratulate his ass for getting an Emmy nomination this morning. While they had him on the phone, they slipped him a question about Taylor:
Do you know who you’re going to take with you to the Emmys?
I don’t. I didn’t even know I could. It’s 4 in the morning here! (Laughs.)
You’re in the middle of a cultural frenzy right now dating Taylor Swift. How would you respond to people who claim that you’re involved in some sort of publicity stunt?
(Laughs.) Well, um. How best to put this? That notion is — look, the truth is that Taylor Swift and I are together, and we’re very happy. Thanks for asking. That’s the truth. It’s not a publicity stunt.
Like he’s going to admit that shit is fake. “I’d tell those people that they’re right. They caught us!”
I do love that he called Taylor Swift by her first and last name. It’s like he’s reading off of a script and if that’s the case, I really wish he would’ve messed up by saying:
“The truth is that Taylor Swift and I are together, and now Tom say this part like you mean it and don’t cry about how you can’t believe what you got yourself into like you did the last time- Bollocks, I read the instructions!”
And here’s Taylor Swift (or as Tom Hiddleston calls her, “Taylor Swift”) going shopping in the Gold Coast yesterday.
Pics: Splash
The Internet Is Turning On Taylor Swift (Or Something Like That)
When we last left the drama going down in the quad at Famous Millionaire High, Calvin Harris sharted up a whine stream on Twitter after the story came out that Taylor Swift wrote the lyrics to “This Is What You Came For.” Taylor’s people also let us know through TMZ that she came up with the melody too, thankyouverymuch.
In his Twitter dragging of Taylor, Calvin mentioned how he’s not going to let her bury him the way that she tried to bury Katy Perry. Katy Perry piped in on Twitter. You know, Calvin Harris is too old for this. Taylor Swift is too old for this. Katy Perry is too old for this. And we’re all too old for this, but who cares! I’m still eating up the stupid drama as if it was smeared all over Prince Hot Ginge’s peen.