Thomas Markle Shockingly (Cough) Shared A Private Letter From Duchess Meghan

February 11, 2019 / Posted by:

At the rate he’s going, the only thing from Duchess Meghan that her father, Thomas Markle, hasn’t shared is a dryer sheet she once used for some laundry, but that’s probably because he lost the key to the storage unit where he keeps it. Right after Meghan forced her friends to cough up a few reasons of why she’s the shit was profiled in People as being a totally kind princess who just happens to fire off sunrise missives to staffers, there was chatter that she sent her dad a letter last year begging him to quit his media-whoring shit. Rather than let people speculate, Thomas coughed up the letter to most likely earn his weekly payment from British tabloids.

The Daily Mail reminds us that Thomas Markle can’t let that story of Meghan buying hand warmers for the security guards at Kensington Palace be the most recent thing floating around in the news cycle. He has his own mouth to feed, and it only survives on Shakespearean melodrama! Meg’s gal pals told People that she had sent her dad a letter after she married Prince Harry that basically said her heart had been turned into that thing Taco Bell tries to call ground beef since he sold his daughter up the river with all his whining to the press. Thomas must not have been able to read the story over “JACKPOT!” squealing repeatedly in his head over the weekend because, instead of taking that as a cue to cut the shit, he sold the letter to the Mail to, uh, prove what a nice guy he is and what a meanie duchess Meghan is?

Meghan’s letter actually made me feel awful, but that’s mainly because, after her years doing arts and crafts and whatever it was that blog of hers was supposed to be, her beautiful handwriting was meant for “FU!” moments like this. I can barely read my chicken scratch penmanship, and it’s my own damn writing! We might want to hire Meghan to rewrite the Declaration of Independence because her sweeping letters describing how her heart is broken into a million pieces seems to subtly say, “…but now I have plenty of cash to put those pieces back together just fine.” Actually, she said this:

“Daddy, It is with a heavy heart that I write this, not understanding why you have chosen to take this path, turning a blind eye to the pain you’re causing. Your actions have broken my heart into a million little pieces – not simply because you have manufactured such unnecessary and unwarranted pain, but by making the choice to not tell the truth as you are puppeteered in this. Something I will never understand.”

Hearing “puppeteered,” Samantha Markle then sold off a list of chores her dad once wrote to Meghan as proof she was always entitled since she got laundry duty and that demanding duchess-in-waiting only had to dust the lamps! I’m only kidding, but I wouldn’t be shocked if it was true, either. Meghan’s letter cuts deep. She went on to say she basically paid for Thomas’ ass despite him saying otherwise, argued he knew how to get in touch with her but wasn’t actually doing it, and said he needed to stop telling journalists shit that wasn’t true.

“If you love me, as you tell the press you do, please stop. Please allow us to live our lives in peace. Please stop lying, please stop creating so much pain, please stop exploiting my relationship with my husband. I realize you are so far down this rabbit hole that you feel (or may feel) there’s no way out, but if you take a moment to pause I think you’ll see that being able to live with a clear conscience is more valuable than any payment in the world.

You’ve told the press that you called me to say you weren’t coming to the wedding — that didn’t happen because you never called.

I have only ever loved, protected, and defended you, offering whatever financial support I could, worrying about your health. So the week of the wedding to hear about you having a heart attack through a tabloid was horrifying. I called and texted…I begged you to accept help — we sent someone to your home…and instead of speaking to me to accept this or any help, you stopped answering your phone and chose to only speak to tabloids.”

Thomas says he needed to sell, I mean release, the letter because he was being falsely portrayed. Uh…I mean, I still think he’s a turd just like I did before the letter! Meghan also doubles down on barely knowing Samantha and accused Thomas of buying into her lies along with those of the tabloids. She also lashed out at how Thomas had talked shit about PHG in the press. Thomas ended his sharing by saying it was really unfair of Meghan’s friends to use the press to spin a story about his daughter. After all, that’s HIS job and nobody else’s!


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