The National Enquirer Live! Theme Park Opened A Princess Diana’s Death Attraction

May 25, 2019 / Posted by:

It seemed like Whitney Houston had the title of “Most Disrespected Dead Celebrity” on lock this week when plans to put her digital image on tour were revealed almost simultaneously with the revelation that Kanye West was making Pusha T use that infamous pic of Whitney’s druggy bathroom as an album cover. Well, The National Enquirer Live! Theme Park clocked this, said “hold my beer,” and announced that they’re opening an attraction based on Princess Diana’s untimely death. Archie Harrison Mountbatten-Windsor just turned around and tried to climb back up in Duchess Meghan in disgust at this tacky-ass world.

The Daily Beast reports that National Enquirer Live! is an actual place just a few miles from Dollywood in Pigeon Forge, Tennessee. It opened yesterday. There’s a Michael Jackson Dangling Baby attraction and a recreation of Nicole Brown Simpson’s murder scene:

And there’s also a Princess Diana exhibit is a computerized model tracing Diana’s death in a car accident in Paris on August 31, 1997. A representative of the park was able to fix his face to try and explain how this isn’t the modern definition of “never is too soon.”

“It’s a 3-D computer model, and you’re looking down on what looks just like Paris, but it’s three-dimensional,” amusements impresario Robin Turner told The Daily Beast about the Princess Diana exhibit, an attention-getting aspect of the attraction that opens to the public on Friday at noon.

Robin Turner went on to explain that the exhibit traces the path Diana’s car took trying to evade the paparazzi and also includes “the bang-flash that we think blinded the driver—and how it happened.” If there’s a Jesus, he’s weeping.

It’s ok, though, because DI’s death is “sensitively handled” meaning that they’re not showing pics of her corpse in the wreckage. It’s a subtle, dignified tribute, obviously. With conspiracy theories!

“There’s no blood. There’s none of that. You see the car crash through computer animation,” Turner explained, adding that viewers will be invited to entertain various widely-debunked conspiracy theories, which in the immediate aftermath of the crash included a claim that Diana was pregnant by her Egyptian boyfriend, Dodi Fayed, and murdered by the British intelligence services at the behest of Buckingham Palace.

It’s the very opposite of poor taste! In fact, it’s “done in a positive fashion,” Turner said.

Turner insisted: “It’s definitely not in poor taste. It’s just showing the route of what happened. For people who’ve never been to Paris, it’s just showing the topography, and the distance, and the tunnel, and that kind of stuff…It’s done very professionally.”

The biggest sensitivity of all is, do you think she was pregnant with Dodi’s baby?”

Never has the acronym “SMH” been more necessary. The exhibit is one of a 100 in the Enquirer’s attraction space and costs $24.99 for an adult ticket (kids get in for $18.99). The Royal Family has declined to comment on it. Robin Turner was asked if Princes William and Harry might be offended as opposed to loving it and being sure to buy the commemorative t-shirt.

“I hope not,” he answered. “But that’s hard to say. I know they’re very sensitive.”

There’s also an exhibit based around the Enquirer’s picture of Elvis in his coffin. Nope, no bad taste here.

Pics: The National Enquirer Live!

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