Category: Taco Bell
Reservations For The Taco Bell Hotel Sold Out In 2 Minutes
Delish reports that the new pop-up Taco Bell resort, The Bell, sold out of all its bookings in two minutes. You guys are animals! You’re just hovering over the Taco Bell weblink waiting to refresh the page like a college student trying to avoid a Friday class! You know what won’t take two minutes? The excruciating diarrhea/constipation-combo you’ll get from eating exclusively Taco Bell for four days in a row.
Open Post: Hosted By A Look At The Taco Bell Resort In Palm Springs
It was announced last month that a Taco Bell-themed resort was going to be a real thing. Well, Taco Bell is actually going through with it. And if you want to contribute to the shut down of the Palm Springs sewer system this summer, I’ll tell you how you can make that happen.
A Woman Called 911 After Taco Bell Ran Out Of Taco Shells
Sometimes it’s hard to tell what a true emergency is and sometimes it’s dead obvious. Like when a Louisiana resident found out that Taco Bell was out of both hard AND soft shells for their tacos and called 911 to report the crime of no taco shells in her belly. I know what you’re thinking, maybe call the non-emergency line instead of 911? Or just write a strongly worded Yelp review. But we don’t know her truth! Maybe she was really hungry and tacos are her favorite and now she’s just suppose to eat cinnamon twists and a taco salad?! This is America. We eat our Taco Bell tacos in shells, not in salad form like the French!
Your Palm Springs Travel Plans Just Got A Hot Beef Injection. Taco Bell Is Opening A Resort
Nothing says classy Palm Springs resort like mid-century architecture, long sunny days, and explosive diarrhea. And if you thought fancy resort living and baking under the desert sun like the last chalupa under the heating lamp at Taco Bell at 2:00 AM was reserved only for the rich and famous, you’re in for a treat. According to People, Taco Bell will be taking over a Palm Springs resort this summer and “transforming it into a fully-immersive fan experience”. That’s right, fully immersive which means you’ll be sleeping on a mattress stuffed with ground beef, tucked under a flour tortilla duvet, and using a packet of hot sauce for a pillow. I kid, the hot sauce packets are for pool use only!
Open Post: Hosted By Taco Bell’s Nacho-Dispensing Billboard
Whoever said dreams never come true needs to be slapped across the face with a stale burrito. Because Taco Bell Canada has decided to spice up everyone’s life by constructing a billboard that dispenses golden showers of delicious, gooey nacho cheese. I’m sure you’ll all agree with me when I say fuck running for the border! I’m about to make a run for the mountains ‘Eh!
Open Post: Hosted By Taco Bell Coming For Doritos
Pretty soon, you won’t have to worry about spending a half hour in a crowded drive-thru lane to decimate your G.I. tract with some Taco Bell – it will be served in a chip aisle nearest you! Someone might need to dial Doritos to say “You in danger, gurl” because Taco Bell is launching its own line of chips.
Eater says Taco Bell is saying its chips are inspired by its hot sauce packets and in no way should Doritos scream, “Bitch stole my look!” While you’ll be able to get a Basic Betty original (aka no flavor) tortilla chip, the company will also offer mild and fire to coincide with its spice levels found in its fast food locations. The chips are expected to arrive in May, and Taco Bell’s chief brand office barfed this up as an excuse as to why they didn’t try to get too creative with the packaging:
“Our sauce packets are one of the brand’s most unique aspects and were the natural choice for both the flavors and packaging of our tortilla chips.”
While it may look like Taco Bell is Single White Female-ing Doritos, it sounds like this doesn’t spoil the existing Taco Bell/Doritos partnership (Doritos makes taco shells for certain tacos at the chain). A Taco Bell spokesperson said they are open to all sorts of ways to send you into cardiac arrest (in so many words), and continuing the Frito-Lay/Doritos relationship is one of them! This is all fine and dandy, but my obese redneck childhood will not be pleased until Taco Bell starts churning out those diabetes puffs cinnamon twists to grocery stores, too!
Pic: Taco Bell