Open Post: Hosted By A Look At The Taco Bell Resort In Palm Springs

June 20, 2019 / Posted by:

It was announced last month that a Taco Bell-themed resort was going to be a real thing. Well, Taco Bell is actually going through with it. And if you want to contribute to the shut down of the Palm Springs sewer system this summer, I’ll tell you how you can make that happen.

BuzzFeed says that starting next Thursday, June 27 at 1:00 PM Eastern Standard Time (gotta be specific, I know you’re all hyped), you’ll be able to go to the resort’s website to book one of the “exclusive, taco-themed rooms” with prices starting at $169 per night. And here’s a shot at the pool, which should stay empty if every guest is going to abide by the “don’t go in if you’ve recently had diarrhea” rule:

The Taco Bell resort is considered a pop-up (more like poop-up) and will take over the current V Resort in Palm Springs from August 8th to August 12th.

Entertainment includes but is not limited to: a “Freeze Lounge,” dive-in movie, live performances, a salon offering “taco-inspired nail art”, and surely much, much more. And, duh you can get all the Taco Bell foods. So you can enjoy a movie, lounging on a hot-sauce pack-shaped floatie until one of the children in the pool shits themselves from the Cheesy Gordita Crunch they shovelled excitedly down their throat forty minutes earlier and the pool has to be cleared out for cleaning.

It will remain to be seen how many Americans go to the Taco Bell resort. Or even more insane, how many people from other countries go. Who would fly into the States to go to the Taco Bell Resort? Mess. Meanwhile, be on the lookout for the follow up to this BuzzFeed article: “How To Treat A Blown Out Rectum After Intense Diarrhea At A Taco Bell Resort.”

Pic: Taco Bell

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