Nothing says classy Palm Springs resort like mid-century architecture, long sunny days, and explosive diarrhea. And if you thought fancy resort living and baking under the desert sun like the last chalupa under the heating lamp at Taco Bell at 2:00 AM was reserved only for the rich and famous, you’re in for a treat. According to People, Taco Bell will be taking over a Palm Springs resort this summer and “transforming it into a fully-immersive fan experience”. That’s right, fully immersive which means you’ll be sleeping on a mattress stuffed with ground beef, tucked under a flour tortilla duvet, and using a packet of hot sauce for a pillow. I kid, the hot sauce packets are for pool use only!
“Everything from guest rooms to breakfast and poolside cocktails will be infused with a Taco Bell twist,” the company’s press release states. There will also be Taco Bell-branded robes, hot sauce packet pool floats, and an on-site gift shop filled with exclusive taco apparel. Truly committed guests can even book an appointment at the salon, which will offer “Taco Bell-inspired nail art, fades and a braid bar.”
It’s unclear still how much lettuce it will cost super fans to enjoy this unique experience. The Bell plans on taking over an existing resort on August 9th for “an undisclosed limited time”. They’ll open up booking sometime in June, presumably after they’ve worked out the added retrofits necessary for the plumbing to be able to handle the load.
I’ve got to give them points for creativity. This is a better idea than when they tried to implement “Taco Mode“ so people could get unsuspecting Lyft drivers to take their drunk asses through the drive-thru. It’s also better than the cheese stigmata billboard idea. But still, I can’t decide which is a more terrifying thought; being at a resort filled with Taco Bell super fans (I’m looking at you JT), or having to smell the odor of rancid nacho cheese as I’m trying to fall asleep. Either way it sounds like a waking (and sleeping) nightmare, but I’m not going to lie. I kind of want Taco Bell now.
Pic: Taco Bell