I’ll just go on ahead and tell you, Lena Dunham’s uterus was named Judy. Judy used to room in Lena’s womb. Hell, Judy WAS Lena’s womb. That is until Judy was evicted back in November for throwing all kinds of parties up in Lena’s insides and generally making a huge mess of things. It’s now been 9 months since the cop docs (that’s doctors dressed up like cops, or, cops dressed up like doctors. Picture your preference) had to drag Judy, kicking and screaming, out of the house. I’ll just go on ahead and tell you, Lena celebrated the anniversary of Judy’s demise (can you even call it an anniversary if you are counting in months?) by posing naked on Instagram. As one does. Oh, and she got a tattoo on her ribs that reads “RIP Judy”. As one does.
Here’s Lena’s nude. I swear to God I am more familiar with what Lena’s naked body looks like, than I am with my own. Collaterally, not even on purpose.
I’ll just go on ahead and tell you that I too had a hysterectomy, about a month ago. I’m really hoping a 9-month post surgery nude photo spread posted on social media with the comments turned on isn’t some kind of legally binding requirement. If it is, I didn’t get the memo. I didn’t name my uterus nor did I shed a tear at its loss, so maybe I’m off the hook. But Lena, she cared. Even though Judy was a terrible wombmate (sorry, absolutely not sorry) Lena is only 32 and had planned to have children. In fact, she was sharing a list of baby names she and her ex Jack Antonoff made several years prior. It’s clear the loss of Judy was significant to Lena. Sorry for your loss, Lena. Now stuff them titties away in a shirt, please!
I think more disturbing than Lena’s unchecked exhibitionism, is that somebody commented on these pictures “Yasssssssssssss qween!!!!”. That person thinks this phrase is new for 2018 and that a picture of Lena Dunham’s canvas of tattoo terrors is appropriate usage. Time for mainstream squares to take YQ out of their mouths, and throw it in the medical waste incinerator alongside Judy, and my uterus. Let’s call her, I dunno, Big Bertha.