Boy George Served Up The Rough Trade Look At The BRIT Awards

At the BRIT Awards at the O2 in London tonight, Boy George showed up with a busted face and I was going to say that he looks like he peeped at Chris Brown’s phone, but then I remembered that The Difficult Brown doesn’t punch guys. I figured that before the BRITs, Boy George’s daytime date with his Eastern European piece went a little too far and one thing led to another, which led to him getting repeatedly slapped in the face with a 12″ burrito-thick dildo and he decided to make a look out of it. It happens. Or maybe Boy George decided to get all political by making a statement about gays getting beat in Russia. But no, Boy George apparently told British Vogue that he took red lipstick to his eye to look like the “fashion victim” he is. The literary emporium of class and decorum The Daily Mail called Boy George’s busted-up make-up job “tasteless,” and that’s like the time I met my friend at a bar after a hook-up and he called me a nasty, low-class slut before finishing his Grindr chat with a dude whose username was FeedMe69.

And here’s a few more tricks and hos from the BRITs tonight. I wish I could offer you up A-list British royalty like Harvey Price, Jodie Marsh, Pete Doherty and Pete Burns, but unfortunately I can’t. I can only give you Jessie J looking like a bootleg She-Ra character and Lily Allen looking like Goth Rainbow Brite.

Pics: Wenn.com, Splash

Panty Creamers Of The Day: Joe ManJello And Other Hot Pieces In W Magazine

It’s Monday so you probably woke up this morning with the hungover demons possessing your body, your breath smelling like Sunday night sangria and your eyeballs covered in crusties. You probably considered just never getting out of bed ever, because is a regular paycheck really worth getting up in the morning on a Monday? But you pulled yourself out, injected caffeine into your eyeballs, put on some clean panties and made it through the day by playing that Flappy Bird shit in your cubicle. We all made it through the day without murdering anyone (I think) or checking into the hospital because our bodies turned into a giant raisin from crying at the bottom of a hot shower for a few hours straight. Let’s all celebrate with this picture from W Magazine of Joe Manganiello with morning wood eyes. Or maybe he’s saying, “How about an early morning salad tossing? You do me first” with his eyes.

Photographers Mert and Marcus shot a bunch of famous hos in bed for W Magazine and some of them will give your genitals the sweats (see: Joe ManJello, STAINS’ human brother Jonathan Rhys Meyers and David Gandy) and some will make your b-hole poot out a “meh” (see: Vanessa Hudgens and that busted wig on her head and Kanye’s cuddle boo Riccardo Tisci).

And to answer the question in your head, no, it’s not weird at all to have that top picture turned into a body pillow with holes in it. That’s actually totally natural and not-at-all-crazy or creepy. Just make sure you get it in stain-resistant fabric like I did.

“I’m Looking For Something That Makes Me Look Like A Giant Penis”

Not content to let Daft Punk be the only ones at the Grammy’s to work a tight PLEASE LOOK OVER HERE game, Pharrell Williams decided to show up to the Staples Centre last night looking like Run DMC fucking on a pile of Mounties at a discount Halloween superstore (he really nailed the part where the penis calls a time-out and lays sort of limply on top while it tries to catch its breath). Bravo to you, Pharrell; I would expect nothing less from a man who named his son Rocket Man.

And speaking of sad piles of meat, Arby’s saw something different when they saw Pharrell’s hat. Well, they still saw a penis, but a penis that looks like their logo:

No! He’s going to need to use that hat as a barf bucket in case he eats at Arby’s! I’m sorry, I’m being really rough on Arby’s today. I’m sure they’re a fine restaurant (referring to Arby’s as a ‘restaurant’ took courage) with one menu item and I’m sure it’s delicious and definitely doesn’t look like a bun filled with labias.

Here’s more of Dudley Do Wrong and wife Helen Lasichanh, who’s having that nightmare where you accidentally show up to an important event in your pajamas (but this time…IT’S NOT A NIGHTMARE! And cue the Twilight Zone music), as well as Daft Punk at their Daft Punkiest. Now, I’ll be honest – I can’t really tell Daft Punk apart (you bot-cist!) but I think the one on the left is the robot.

(Pics via Wenn)

Yoko Ono Cast Some Kind Of Black Magic Spell At The Grammys Last Night

When Daft Punk, Pharrell, Stevie Wonder and Nile Rodgers busted out a performance “Get Lucky” with a side of “Le Freak” and “Another Star” at the Grammys last night, the audience magically transformed into rave night at the retirement home. Who spiked the tapioca pudding with Ecstasy? I came for Pharrell’s Mountie hat on steroids, which looked like it was eating his tiny Doberman puppy head, and I stayed for the memaws and pepaws showing those young whores how to really serve up some piping hot moves. Put those replaced hips to work, bitches!

Every time the camera cut to the audience, my eyes were gifted with a new jewel. They gave us Paul McCartney awkwardly snap dancing like a sober grandpa who just dropped E and is waiting for it to kick in (aka like me at my first rave). They gave us Steven Tyler rolling out some Solid Gold moves. And Yoko Ono did this:

I don’t even know what that is, but I wanted to see more of it. It’s probably some kind of super powerful band wrecking curse and we should all expect Daft Punk to release a statement today saying that they have broken up and will never work together again. Yoko Ono’s band wrecking powers are alive and well and more powerful than ever!

And here’s Yoko, Sean Lennon and Sean’s girlfriend Charlotte Kemp Muhl looking like the members of an Amish traveling circus at the Grammys last night. I also threw in pictures of Jack Skellington’s body twin Steven Tyler wearing my First Communion suit while posing like a freshmen at Barbizon.

Pics: Wenn.com GIF: Tumblr