Marvin Gaye’s Family Isn’t Done With Pharrell Williams

And a year from now, Nona Gaye will work the hell out of that pink coat while sashaying out of Chanel with armfuls of bags and she’ll stop for a minute to drop a quarter into a Styrofoam cup held up by a homeless Pharrell Williams who went broke from losing copyright lawsuit after copyright lawsuit.

Marvin Gaye’s family will soon be $7.3 million richer after a jury in L.A. ruled that Pharrell Williams and Robin Thicke basically took “Got To Give It Up,” dipped it in dirty toilet water, changed the lyrics and renamed it “Blurred Lines.” Robin Thicke’s lawyer Howard E. King told reporters that they plan to appeal and do everything they can to make sure that the verdict doesn’t stand. Because of this ruling and the Tom Petty/Sam Smith settlement, Howard said that shit is going to get dangerous and if this is the way the law is going to go, anybody who creates anything better watch their asses.

Howard said that yes, Pharrell has admitted that Marvin Gaye is one of his idols and inspirations, but “Blurred Lines” and “Got To Give It Up” are two completely different songs. Marvin Gaye’s family, of course, doesn’t agree and they might not be done with Pharrell. Nona Gaye told CBS News that there’s a chance her family will go after Pharrell’s #1 song “Happy” next. Nona and Marvin Gaye’s ex-wife Janis believe that “Happy” and “Ain’t That Peculiar” sound like twins. FYI: “Ain’t That Peculiar” wasn’t even written by Marvin Gaye.

“I’m not going to lie. I do think they sound alike,” Nona Gaye, Marvin’s 40-year-old daughter, said. However, she added that she wasn’t thinking about the legal implications right now. “We’re not in that space.”

“We’re just in the moment today and we’re satisfied,” Janis added.

FYI: “Ain’t That Peculiar” wasn’t even written by Marvin Gaye.

The Gaye family are out for the smooth rat’s blood and are going to suck him dry. They won’t be satisfied until they got Pharrell singing, “Because I’m brokeeeeee.” Pharrell is going to liquidate all his assets, clear out his accounts and hide all his money in a place no one will dare or want to go (example: like under a pile of Robin Thicke’s last album “Paula.”) Then he’s going to escape to a far away island where he’ll sell denim capris to tourists on the beach.

You probably already know what “Happy” sounds like since it’s been stuck in your brain for over a year, so I’m not going to post it here. But below is Marvin Gaye’s “Ain’t That Peculiar” for you to compare. Click here to hear the mash-up of the two songs.

A Jury Declared That Robin Thicke And Pharrell Williams Ripped Off Marvin Gaye

The Los Angeles Times says that a jury in L.A. declared that Robin Thicke and Pharrell Williams totally ripped Marvin Gaye off. They awarded Marvin Gaye’s family nearly $7.4 million. And just like that,  Sara Bareilles picked up the phone to call her lawyers.

Almost immediately after “Blurred Lines” came out and terrorized our ear holes, Marvin Gaye’s family thought it sounded just like “Got To Give It Up” and they publicly called out Robin and Pharrell for pulling some copy + paste shit. Robin Thicke preemptively sued Marvin Gaye’s family for wrongly claiming copyright. Alan Thicke’s high-pitched tampon of a son claimed that he was inspired by “Got To Give It Up,” but didn’t copy it. Pharrell also defended “Blurred Lines” (because DUH) and said that it was totally different than Marin Gaye’s 1977 hit. Marvin Gaye’s family countersued.

During a deposition last year, Robin claimed he was jacked-up on Vicodin and the sweet nectar for most of 2013 and so Pharrell wrote most of “Blurred Lines” by himself. When all else fails, claim you were too fucked up to function and blame the guy in the Arby’s hat. A judge ruled that there was enough evidence to take it to trial and the trial started last month. During the trial, the jury heard from several experts and both Robin and Pharrell testified. The jury also learned that the song put $5.6 million into Robin’s checking account, $5.2 million into Pharrell’s checking account and millions more went to the recording company.

T.I. was also named in the lawsuit, because he raps in “Blurred Lines,” but the jury declared that he was not responsible for any copyright infringement. That’s good news for Tiny, because she’s going to need that money for surgery when those wolf iris implants start eating her eyeballs.

Here’s a comparison of the two songs:

Marvin’s daughter Nona Gaye told reporters outside of the court house that she’s finally happy to be done with Pharrell and Robin’s lies:

“Right now, I feel free. Free from Pharrell Williams and Robin Thicke’s chains and what they tried to keep on us and the lies that were told.”

The family’s attorney will file papers to stop all future sales of “Blurred Lines.”

I’m happy for Marvin Gaye’s family and all, but the State of California really fucked up on this one. Right before the jury came to a decision, they should’ve quickly passed a law stating that if you’re a certified douche named Robin Charles Thicke and you’re found guilty of grand theft song thieving in a civil suit, you will also be punished with life in prison without the possibility of parole. The state really missed a good opportunity.

And here’s Pharrell and Robin, who is looking douchier than usual, leaving the court house in L.A. after testifying last week.

Pharrell Is All Of Us

I mean, when a dude who wore a Pee-wee Herman British schoolboy suit and performed a The Shining meets Grand Budapest Hotel version of “Happy“ throws you a side-eye of judgement, you know you deserve to be judged. The worst-selling Lalaloopsy doll known as Taylor Swift danced all through the Grammys because she knows that’s what you expect her to do and Pharrell threw her the side-eye all of us want to throw at her.

My nipples have never tingled for the Smooth Rat the way they’re tingling while seeing him throw a “Bitch, I see you trying to give Buzzfeed their ’10 Dance Moves That Taylor Swift Did During The Grammys’ list” look at Tay Tay.

Pics: Getty, Wenn.com

Robin Thicke Admits He Was A Drunk Pilled-Up Mess For Most Of 2013

Drug-resistant yeast infection Robin Thicke is currently in the middle of some legal shit with Marvin Gaye’s family because they claim he and dick-hatted singing rat Pharrell ripped off Marvin’s song “Got To Give It Up” for 2013’s douche anthem “Blurred Lines”. Robin and Pharrell gave their deposition way back in April, but they were kept sealed until this morning, when they were brought out in a Los Angeles court. According to The Hollywood Reporter (via Radar), it all began when lawyers for Marvin’s family brought up a quote Alan’s sleazy son gave to GQ last year where he pretty much admits that “Blurred Lines” is the cheap Chinatown knock-off of Marvin’s “Got To Give It Up”:

“Pharrell and I were in the studio and I told him that one of my favorite songs of all time was Marvin Gaye’s ‘Got to Give It Up.’ I was like, ‘Damn, we should make something like that, something with that groove.’ Then he started playing a little something and we literally wrote the song in about a half hour and recorded it.”

When lawyers remind Robin that he said this shit, Robin claims he only said what he said because he was jealous that Pharrell was going to get all the credit for the massive success of “Blurred Lines”, so he exaggerated how much involvement he actually had in the making of it. Which, according to Robin, was zero involvement, because was a Lindsay Lohan-level of coherent when they were in the studio making it.

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The Topic Of Feminism Really Bores Yawna Del Rey

It seems like reporters and writers just keep asking famous people to brain burp up their thoughts about feminism, because those reporters and writers know that the answer could give birth to a million blog posts (see: the Diva Cup-wearing, pit fur-flaunting woodland leaf fairy Shailene Woodley). Channel 4 News asked Pharrell Williams if he considers himself a feminist and the smooth rat of NIMH looked down at his dick, shrugged and then said that he’s not even sure if he can be a feminist since he doesn’t have a pussy. Feminismismism: How Does It Work? By Pharrell Williams.

“I’ve been asked if I’m a feminist. I don’t think it’s possible for me to be that. I’m a man. I mean… it makes sense up until a certain point, you know?”

Elle UK asked Keira Knightley about feminism and she’s a card carrying feminist:

“There is an under-representation of our stories, just as there is an under-representation of us in politics and in business and everywhere. That’s what feminism is [to me] right now – the recognition that we are still not equal.”

And then there’s the lazy-faced, intergalactic space nymph Lana Del Rey who sprains an eye rolling muscle every time someone spurts out the word “feminism” into her ear. The subject of feminism puts Lana Del Taco to sleep and that’s saying a lot since bitch is already in a waking coma. Talking to Lana Del Rey about feminism is like pouring NyQuil on an Ambien pill. During a talk with Fader, they asked her about it and she said she’d much rather use her time talking about Saturn and shit:

“For me, the issue of feminism is just not an interesting concept,” she says. “I’m more interested in, you know, SpaceX and Tesla, what’s going to happen with our intergalactic possibilities. Whenever people bring up feminism, I’m like, god. I’m just not really that interested.” Fortunately, her ambivalence about politics doesn’t undo any subversiveness that may be embedded in her work (though, nor does it excuse any ill it may cause). When pressed, she adds, more illuminatingly, “My idea of a true feminist is a woman who feels free enough to do whatever she wants.”

Anybody who’s listened to the lyrics of Lana’s songs know that she’s practically the Gloria Steinem of music (served in pill form with a glass of warm sarcasm). I’m with Lana, though. I don’t want to hear Lana dribble about feminism either. I’d much rather her take me up, up and away by filling my head with the acid and weed-infused words that come out of her mouth when she talks about space travel. You know that shit is fucked up.

And let’s see, Lana’s  5’7″, isn’t really into feminism, is really into aliens and she’s naturally got robotic facial expressions. Tommy Girl, come get your beard wife #4!

Pharrell’s Dick-Head Hat Made A Triumphant Return Last Night At The Oscars

Goddamn it, Pharrell, stop trying to make the penis hat happen, it’s not going to happen; nobody wants to voluntarily look like the throbbing head of Dudley Do-Right’s dick. Well, except maybe John Travolta. “I don’t know what it is, but there’s something about that hat that really speaks to me.”

The second before Pharrell Williams stepped out from behind those creepy Oscar statue ghosts, I knew there was a 100% chance he’d be wearing that goofy Vivienne Westwood hat, because that hat is his best pal and he never goes anywhere without it. They’re like a modern-day Milo and Otis. Pharrell and his hat will be the best of friends until the sad day that the hat starts to get old and loses its shape, and it’s sent to live with a nice family on a farm upstate somewhere.

But I felt sort of bad for Pharrell’s dick head hat last night during the performance of Despicable Me 2’s “Happy”. That high-fashion felt penis hat looked so out of place in what was essentially a long-lost Gap commercial. You could sort of tell the minute the first dancer in pastel khakis popped out, the hat started anxiously thinking: “Fuck, I knew I should have come dressed as a straw fedora.”

And here’s more of a sans-chapeau Pharrell and his wife, Helen Lasichanh, looking like they’re fighting over who get’s to play the Buster Bluth part of their Motherboy XXX cosplay:

(Pics: Splash)