Presented Without Comment: The Hooters Girls’ Very Special 9/11 Tribute

via Patch

Presented Almost Without Comment: Michele Bachmann Asks The Real Questions

And just like that, I have my new voicemail greeting.

Disclaimer: In Michele Bachmann’s defense, a band called the White People Soul Band played at that same event. But I’d still like to think that when Michele enters any room, she opens those crazy sockets to Crazyville and takes a tally of all white people lovers in the place.

UPDATE: Mediate says Michele actually said “wet people” not “white people.” Even better!

via Joe My God

Checking Up On The Mess That Is Mischa Barton

Yup, still a mess. Check!

No Words: Fabio Is The New Old Spice Guy

via Mashable (Thanks Kevin)

Would You Two Like To Be Alone?

Before leaving North America on a COMMERCIAL FLIGHT (it’s all their welfare pounds could afford them) yesterday afternoon, Prince William and Duchess Kate spent the morning doing arts shit with a bunch of kids at the Inner City Arts in L.A. They painted pictures of snails, they made handprint plaques and then Prince Willy perfectly ended his trip to California by rolling out a statue of something that I may or may not try to harden in my down low kiln. There are minors in this post, so I’m not going to say anything that will cause Chris Hansen to pull out of his side whore in order to pour me a glass of watered down iced tea.

Let’s just say that Prince Willy’s art piece isn’t a bottom-heavy, wiggly uncut peen, and is simply just his artistic interpretation of what Prince Philip’s tongue looks like when The Queen finally puts down her purse (a euphemism: that’s one) at the end of the night. Yes, Prince Philip’s tongue is shaped just like Jennifer Love Hewitt.

Ode to Seinfeld

Since Michael K is not around to hold my hand (I tried to get him to hold my ass but there’s that whole “ew, GIRL” issue) and jacko is off doing God knows what (GOD knows jacko!! Jussayin!), I had to try to find something on the interwebs myself. I hit every site I could think of and came up with NADA. So this is a post about nothing. Cause that’s what I got, NOTHING.

You know, nothing is highly underrated. Nothing needs to get a little love now and then, just like the rest of us sluts. No one has caressed nothing’s nalgas since the 90s when Jerry Seinfeld ruled the airways, and that is a sad, sad thing. People are always ripping on nothing, saying hateful shit like “nothing is more pathetic than Paris Hilton.” WRONG and INSENSITIVE.

So nothing, let’s drown our sorrows together in booze and bong hits. You guys can consider this OP2, or ignore it, or whatever makes your man in the boat float. Nothing is sacred. Nothing really matters. It’s NOTHING to me!

If any of you sluts have a juicy tidbit to share, I’m all ears. Otherwise I’m gonna sit here doing NOTHING (rrrrrOOOOoowwwr!), and nothing is (not) going to stop me.