Pamela Anderson Talked About Sly Stallone Trying To Buy Her Love, Her Marriage To Kid Rock, And Her “Romantic” Bond With Julian Assange
In the grand tradition of celebrity memoir press tours (ft. a bonus Netflix doc), Pamela Anderson is out there giving us juicy morsels of showbiz gossip (ft. traumatic tales of sexual harassment) that she’s been saving up over the last three decades. Today’s revelations include Sylvester Stallone allegedly offering Pam a condo and a Porsche to be “his #1 girl,” Pam’s immediate regret upon marrying human anal fissure, Kid Rock, and her “romantic” friendship with WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange. Say what you want about Pammy, but the woman has lived!
Whoever Julian Assange has tasked with handling Pamela Anderson deserves a raise. If you want a favor from Donald Trump, having a big tittied blond woman blow smoke up his ass is not only the best way to get his attention, it’s the only way. Pam’s been one of Julian’s most vocal, and frankly, big tittied supporters, and has been using what’s left of her celebrity in an attempt to get him pardoned. To that end, her most recent stunt was to appeal directly to Donald’s ego.
Pamela Anderson‘s best friend, Julian Assange got hit with some major charges. And I mean major like: spy-thriller-movie-major. Assange, who was recently dragged out of the Ecuadorian embassy he was staying in for the last seven years, was charged in America with 18 charges of espionage carrying up to 175 years in prison. And Pamela is taking it better than I thought she was. I haven’t seen a video meltdown… yet.
Since WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange was arrested last month, Pamela Anderson has been beside herself. …I’m assuming, because after the arrest she flipped her lid on social media and had been an outspoken fan of his for quite some time before that. Well now she’s back again to defend him. Pamela visited Julian in prison and she has something to say about him being sent to the US.
Denizens at the Ecuadorian embassy in London are probably planning a celebratory luncheon today, and for once, won’t have to worry about the leftovers disappearing. Any leftover cake can safely go into the office fridge because the world’s most notorious lunch thief, Julian Assange, was evicted today, kicking and screaming as he was arrested by British authorities. And his good friend Pamela Anderson is mad. Big mad.
So far this year, we know Pamela Anderson hates threesomes and pre-engagement rings but does love Julian Assange. For reasons I still can’t figure out, Pam was interviewed recently for the Australian version of 60 Minutes. As you can guess, she used a bulk of it to stan for her boo Julian and compel the Australian Prime Minister to essentially overlook Julian’s legal matters and let him come back to the homeland. She also decided to wade into the #MeToo waters to cluck her tongue in disapproval — because that has worked out so well for every other critic.