Pamela Anderson Wrote A Love Poem To Julian Assange

March 13, 2017 / Posted by:

It has been way too long since we’ve been blessed with Pamela Anderson’s profound poetry. She’s back and the good news is she’s still got it. The bad news is, it gets a little awkward due to the fact that her subject this time around is Julian Assange.

Pamela hasn’t really said if she is or isn’t dating Julian Assange. Technically she’s only admitted to delivering vegan sandwiches to him at the Ecuadorian embassy in London. But late last week she declared her love for Julian by posting a poem-ish letter to her website titled My Julian. Pam, if you’re going to copy Ekaterina Gordeeva’s homework, at least make it look a little different.

Julian Assange is currently hiding out in the Ecuadorian embassy in London because he doesn’t want to get extradited to Sweden to face possible rape charges. In between slobbering over how sexy Julian is and how he’s such a freedom fighter for the truth, she also defends him against the rape allegations. Why Pamela went there is as much a mystery to you as it is to me. Maybe she thinks her poem will help Julian’s reputation? Then again, I don’t many courts that will accept a free verse poem published online as a character reference.

Without further ado, here is My Julian.

Julian Assange is the most intelligent, interesting, and informed man in existence.
Yes- I think he’s quite sexy.
He has tremendous strength and stamina- though vulnerable.
Hard to imagine him that way – as capable as he is.
But, he is up against the biggest super powers in the world.
I’ve spent enough time with
him, to be absolutely
sure of his intentions-
They are good ones.
He is on the side of every civilian. And,
he is exposing corruption
in governments we elect.
People need to understand that.
And, sift through the propaganda – on TV –
I give up on watching the news-
The truth is-
Julian has ruffled a few very powerful feathers-
who will stop at nothing to discredit him,
or worse-
Any time anyone maliciously,
or frivolously mentions ‘rape’ next to his name –
they need to understand it is defamation.
We are all innocent until proven guilty.
There is no rape –
it is a case of condom or not.
It is ridiculous.
This has been recklessly politicized.
And, it is embarrassing for all involved.
Sweden is a wonderful country. Stockholm is one of my favorite places on earth to visit.
It is silly to continue this.
I’m sure they want this behind them, as much as anyone.
It is complex –
and there are powerful people trying to control the outcome. .
The only way to deal with the big bully on the playground –
Is for someone brave to stand up to them.
Make them realize
they are just like everyone else, no matter how big they think they are,
where they live,
or economic status –
and, show them
that their usual controlling and abusive scare tactics don’t work.
The more we know,
the safer we are…
There are no secrets anymore.
some people don’t like that.
The truth is a powerful and wonderful thing.
As humiliating as it might be for those being exposed.
I am forever grateful to all whistle-blowers.
(Who risk everything for us.)
The world is a safer place because of you.
Thank you to my hero’s at
and of course –
I will always stand by
Julian …


Oh lord, that was so long. Halfway through reading it, I kept expecting to hear the voice of my 11th grade creative writing teacher say “Okay Pam, we’ve got to stop there. We have 8 other students to get through before class ends.” And while I am happy Pam is still writing poetry, I’ve got to admit I’m a little disappointed. All those words, and not one line about how she leaks for his wiki? Maybe she’s saving it for a follow-up.


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