Category: John Mayer
John Mayer Talked About His Sex Life Again
All we’ve ever needed to know about what possibly happens behind John Mayer’s closed bedroom door can be found on his face during a particularly intense guitar riff. And yet, he’s still more than happy to spill the details of his sex life for anyone who dares ask. We know he used to jerk off all the time, that he would have sold all his stuff to keep fucking Jessica “Sexual Napalm” Simpson, and who could forget the David Duke dick thing. And now we know more! Prepare yourselves accordingly.
John Mayer’s Home Was Robbed Of Up To $200,000 In Valuables
Quick! Someone put an APB out on Alexis Neiers, because it looks like The Bling Ring is back in action! Well, either The Bling Ring Redux or some other boring regular old house robbers are back in action, because John Mayer has had his house burgled, and they’ve mostly taken his fancy watch collection.
John Mayer Mocked Justin Bieber And Hailey Baldwin’s Hot Tub Moment
Does a John Mayer-issued mockery of Justin Bieber actually cancel itself out before it can even reach Bieber because they’re both douchey? Or is the burn more potent because when even fellow douches are shading you…? “Runaways at the train station”-looking couple Justin Bieber and Hailey Baldwin celebrated their recent engagement by posting a photo of themselves making out in a hot tub. John figured that the photographer of this pic would have had to actually BE in the hot tub with these two, and called the two of them out on it.
An Anonymous Publicist’s Advice To Actresses: Don’t Date John Mayer!
Page Six has an interview with an unnamed Hollywood publicist who says that his one piece of advice to female clients is to avoid John Mayer’s dick! Avoid it like the plague! Avoid it like you’re Jennifer Lawrence! Actually, this advice it probably null and void now because it’s not like starlets can get to Mayer’s dick when Andy Cohen is probably already on it!
Andy Cohen Name Drops John Mayer To Show He Isn’t Dating John Mayer
While it might seem like Andy Cohen is the tip of a hag love triangle that is bottomed (teehee) by Kelly Ripa and Sarah Jessica Parker, he also always seems to have a special spot on his BFF shelf for John Mayer. Those two are so close that they go to gay bars and sometimes confuse people into thinking they are dating. But don’t you come to any conclusions, silly fans! Just because John Mayer sings to Andy for his birthday, and just because John Mayer is his go-to call buddy, and just because John Mayer is a ride-or-die friend, that doesn’t mean Andy would ever date John Mayer. Continue reading
John Mayer Says Jennifer Lawrence Avoids Him Like The Plague
It wasn’t THAT long ago when John Mayer was just as much of a must-have accessory to blonde starlets as Chihuahuas and afternoon shopping trips to Fred Segal. But maybe it was Taylor Swift writing a song about him being a shitty boyfriend – eh, no, it wasn’t that. It was probably that after Taylor, he amassed a phonebook’s worth of women he was a shitty boyfriend to or, in the case of Jessica Simpson, described as sexual napalm after they broke up. So when John showed up to host a special edition of Andy Cohen’s Watch What Happens Live for the host’s 50th birthday, he brought up how Andy’s friends like Jennifer Lawrence take a page from the southerner’s playbook in how to act toward him: love your hair, hate your guts! Continue reading