Hot Slut Of The Day!
Crash, the one-eyed rescue cat who is the new Cadbury Bunny!
Mark March 21, 2023, as an extremely important date in cat history (HISStory?) because it’s the day a cat was named the Cadbury Bunny for the first time ever. So it looks like catmanity can go ahead and check off “claim the Cadbury Bunny title!” on their list of things to do during their impending world takeover. Crash, a one-eyed pussy from Boise, Idaho, has won the 2023 Cadbury Bunny Tryouts after beating out his competition! So all hail the new Cadbury Bunny Pussy!
The OG Cadbury Bunny was a bunny who clucked like a chicken and starred in the “Cadbury Bunny Tryouts” commercials that aired throughout the 80s and 90s. The ads are forever branded into my brain. I mean, I have to let out a Cadbury Bunny “bawk bawk bawk bawk baaaaawk” every time I think about a Cadbury Creme Egg. In 2019, Cadbury decided to make their Cadbury Bunny Tryouts real and accepted submissions from humans who thought their pet had what it takes to be the next Cadbury Bunny. The people voted for their favorite. Henri the English Bulldog won in 2019, Lieutenant Dan the Treeing Walker Coonhound won in 2020, Betty the Frog won in 2021, and Annie Rose the Therapy Dog took the title last year. And this year, only rescue pets were allowed to enter. 8-year-old Crash got the most votes, beating out several pooches, a duck, a mouse, a guinea pig, a sheep, and more! Crash will make his grand debut as the 2023 Cadbury Bunny in a commercial coming out on March 25. Cadbury released this fuck effort trailer for the ad, which features footage from their old Cadbury Bunny commercial and new footage of Crash raising a paw to his win!
According to People, Crash was rescued after he was in a horrible car crash that fucked up his body and left him with one eye. Yeah, that’s how Crash got the name Crash. After Crash was treated, he was taken to the SimplyCats shelter in Boise, where he won everyone over and eventually became a full-time resident. Well, SimplyCats better start charging people for admittance since there’s a certified STAH living there now. Maddie Corey of SimplyCats shelter said this about Crash becoming the first Cadbury Bunny Pussy!
“We are jumping with joy to hear Crash is the next Cadbury Bunny but not surprised as he is always the center of attention in any room. He’s been through so much over the past few years, and we appreciate the love his friends, family, and cat enthusiasts across the country have shown.”
Crash’s prize includes $5,000 for himself and another $5,000 for the animal shelter of his choice. Things are going to get really awkward at SimplyCats after Crash gives that extra $5k to a different “cat shelter” called “Crash’s Pockets.” But seriously, a cat becoming the Cadbury Bunny IS progress! But I’m not sure if Crash the Cadbury Bunny is going to “bawk bawk bawk” on cue. If anything, he’ll probably take one look at those ears on his head and squawk, “Fuck you fuck you fuck you.”
Pic: Cadbury