Category: Hot Slut of the Day

Hot Slut Of The Day!

November 28, 2022 / Posted by:

Kevin, the captain of the turkey army of Woburn, Massachusetts!

Last week, when many turkeys were cowering in fear and trying to disguise themselves in cute bunny and puppy costumes while watching humans gleefully devour their ancestors on Turkey Day, Kevin and his little army of hooligan turkeys were doing the exact opposite. They were sending the people of Woburn, Massachusetts running in fear of them! And they’ve been terrorizing Woburn for a couple of years now. So on Thanksgiving in Woburn, you don’t eat the turkey; the turkey eats you!

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Hot Slut Of The Day!

November 24, 2022 / Posted by:

Paula Abdul’s Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade Performance!

At the end of Thanksgiving today, many of us will use the teeny tiny bit of energy we have left to open up our eating holes to say, “I really ATE that,” after filling our stomach bags with massive amounts of turkey, butter, carbs, and the sweet nectar. But the one who really ATE today is Paula Abdul, who became the queen of Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade after she tap synched on a gold turkey float while moving her lips to Straight Up. Here I was hoping that this year’s parade would feature a make-up session between Al Roker (who missed the parade for the first time in 27 years because blood clots are fucking with him) and his butter arch rival, but I’ll gladly take the turkey-flavored LSD trip of Paula Abdul dancing in front a Jennie-O float and a ladder instead.

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Hot Slut Of The Day!

November 22, 2022 / Posted by:

The Carrot, the big beautiful fish who just might be the world’s biggest goldfish!

Never mind that The Carrot’s posing skills are a zillion times better than any Jenner or Hadids (but then again, a wet rock’s posing skills are better than a Jenner or Hadids) and that it’s got the kind of pouty lips that Lisa Rinna would trade her entire family in for, it might be the Overlord of the Goldfishes! People says that British fisherman Andy Hackett recently caught The Carrot and nearly broke his arm bones from holding up the 67-pound orange wonder before returning the fish back to the water.

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Hot Slut Of The Day!

November 21, 2022 / Posted by:

The Pringles Pop Box!

Believe it or not, there are people out there who can open up a thing of potato chips and not immediately suck up every single chip in that bitch. Those people are called freaks. But those people also sometimes pull an unreasonable amount of chips out of the bag (it’s unreasonable because the only reasonable amount of chips is ALL OF THEM) and put them in a smaller bag for lunch, or their travels, or whatever. Because those people exist for some reason, Pringles decided to produce a little something for them called the Pringles Pop Box. It was a little curved Lee Press-On-nail-shaped coffin where you could keep a small amount of Pringles safe before really murdering them with your mouth.

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Hot Sluts Of The Day!

November 17, 2022 / Posted by:

Chrissy, the human, and Samuel, her actual squirrel friend!

My Modern Met and Reddit bring us the sweet tale of a Canadian woman named Chrissy who found a down-and-out baby squirrel and nursed him back to health. The squirrel, which Chrissy named Samuel, has a better memory than me (although a water-damaged RAM chip from the 90s has a better memory than me) because he has not forgotten the human savior who cared for him. He visits her every day to play. Here I was going through life, not knowing that I haven’t truly lived until I’ve played with the squirrel (not a euphemism) I saved from death!

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Hot Slut Of The Day!

November 16, 2022 / Posted by:

Koda, the fire department dog who opened the door for a locked-out firefighter!

Meet Koda, a golden retriever who works as a fire safety training dog with the Georgetown Texas Fire Department. But when Koda isn’t helping out with fire safety training, she’s putting on her Captain Save-A-Locked-Out-Ho fire hat to help a fellow fire professional in need. Koda is the star of a viral video of her opening the door for a firefighter who got locked out. Who the hell needs a smart lock when you’ve got an adorable pile of helpfulness to let you in?

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