Category: Geri Halliwell
The Spice Girls (Sans Posh) Are Probably Going To Do Another Reunion Tour
Seen above looking more natural and charismatic than usual, the Spice Girls are reportedly putting together a big tour to celebrate the 20th anniversary of the release of their first single “Wannabe.” Yes, it’s been 20 years since “Wannabe” came out. Yeah, so when you get your nursing home van service to swing by and pick me up for the show, make sure they leave enough room for my walker. Because I’m going to need something sturdy to hang onto when I shake my replaced hip and drop it as low as my knees can take me when the Spice Girls perform “Holler.” Life Alert better double their staff, because we’re all going to be hitting that button when we’ve twerked and can’t get up at the Spice Girls show.
The Spice Girls Will Probably Reunite And Go On Tour (SANS Posh)
Because some of them have bills to pay, the Spice Girls are reportedly in talks to do another reunion tour next year. Posh Beckham has apparently dropped a dry queef on an offer to join the other Spice Girls on tour, because she is the Olsen twins of the group and is way too busy running her fashion empire to lip-synch and point for a quick check.
The Sun (via The Guardian) was the first to report that the Spice Girls are going to get together again to celebrate the 20th anniversary of “Wannabe” next year. They plan to travel the world and Posh may join them on a few dates. Baby Spice did an interview this morning on the Heart London radio show and she only said that nothing’s happening right now, but if anything solid comes together, she’ll let everyone know. But after that interview, Baby Spice stuck the tip into the b-holes of Spice Girls fans by re-tweeting a tweet from a Sun columnist who claims that an “official announcement” is coming later this year. Baby also had this moment with Sporty Spice:
Do I need to put my pigtails in?!?!? https://t.co/TfWZQL9ux2
— Emma Bunton (@EmmaBunton) August 7, 2015
I didn’t get to see the Spice Girls’ last reunion tour in 2008, because by the time I got around to looking for tickets, the only seats available were in the damn clouds and I didn’t want to spend my night guzzling down overpriced beer while looking at the screen and dodging planes flying by. I did that shit for free when the show ended up on YouTube later. But as for this tour, I don’t know. What are the Spice Girls without Posh standing there doing absolutely nothing while the rest of them jump around and shit? If they reunite and do go on tour, they should say that Posh is joining them. They should tie a little Gucci dress around a mic stand, throw a brown wig on top and call it Posh. Nobody would ever know the difference and their show would probably be the most riveting concert experience of my life!
And here’s Posh at LAX the other day wearing I don’t even know.
There Was A Mini Spice Girls Reunion At David Beckham’s Birthday Party This Weekend
Hot British ball-wrangling DILF David Beckham turned 40 years old this weekend, and decided to celebrate by throwing a huge-ass party in Marrakech, Morocco. A party in Morocco? Sounds like someone’s too good for dinner at the Olive Garden followed by a solitary box of wine in bed, aka how I plan on ringing in my 40th. Not surprisingly, David’s birthday party was full of famous types. But the most important famous types on his guest list were THE SPICE GIRLS!!! Excuse me while 13-year-old me gets very jealous of David Beckham.
Posh Spice Instagrammed a couple pics of four-fifths of the Spice Girls reuniting at David’s party. For those of you wondering why Scary Spice looks a lot like Gabrielle Solis from Desperate Housewives, that’s actually Eva Longoria filling in as Tiny Spice. For some reason, Scary Spice wasn’t there; my not-so-secret hope is that she was too busy dumping her shady scumbag husband’s things on the front lawn and changing the locks to make it.
Regardless, 4 out of 5 ain’t bad. I especially love that Posh is giving classic Posh face, Sporty and Baby are serving up that backup realness, while Ginger Spice is working “Just casually reaching for my phone and angling my legs so I can make a break for it.” Although I don’t know why she’d want to. David had four birthday cakes at his party!
Awww, that’s pretty cute – each one came from one of his kids. Never have I wanted to have a dozen children so badly in all my life.
Here’s more of the Spice Girls meet-up at David Beckham’s birthday party over the weekend, including a shot of Posh helping David blow out his candles (or is she using him as a human shield from all that cake? I’m not sure).
Pics: Instagram, Daily Mail
Blasphemy Alert: Giuliana Rancic Calls Ginger Spice “One Of The Lesser Spices”
In case you didn’t know by the fact that Giuliana Rancic’s face is all over the news (and by the “news” I mean The Daily Mail and People since that’s pretty much “the news” to me), she’s been hitting the ho stroll harder than usual because she’s pimping out her third book called Going Off Script: How I Survived a Crazy Childhood, Cancer, and Clooney’s 32 On-Screen Rejections. Yes, she has more than one book, because everyone is dying to know every single thing about the life of a professional “What Are You Wearing?” asker. Because Giuliana needed some shit for her book, she dusted off a 10+ year old cheating rumor and threw it in.
Giuliana and Jerry O’Connell bumped nipples in the early aughts and she writes that he passed his peen to another twice before dumping her. According to Page Six, Giuliana writes that things between her and Jerry were heart-shaped queefs and rainbows until he cheated on her with Ginger Spice.
“I was being two-timed for one of the lesser Spices?” she writes. Confronted, O’Connell told her, “ ‘Yeah, I know. I’m so sorry. I don’t know what happened.’ He had as much emotion as the customer-service representative who tells you your bags missed the flight.”
They broke up for a second, but got back together. That lasted about as long as a fried Twinkie casserole in front of Mama June’s face. Giuliana claims that Jerry quit her for good after meeting his now wife of 8 years Rebecca Romjin at a party in Vegas.
O’Connell wandered off. “Little did I know he was in the VIP area, talking up Rebecca. As a prelude to feeling up Rebecca.”
A week later, he departed for Las Vegas and stopped returning her calls. When she confronted him at his home, he refused to buzz her up.
“Nope. Sorry, homegirl,” he said, ending their relationship with: “Things change, but you take care, OK?”
Dumping a trick via a building intercom is like making someone come in on a Friday morning just so you can fire them. But the image of Jerry dropping that “sorry, homegirl” line on her after she tried to get him to buzz her in has taken me up, up and away.
And Giuliana’s ass needs to be taken away and jailed immediately for that ignorant “lesser spice” comment. Bitch needs more education! Ginger Spice isn’t the lesser Spice, because there are no lesser Spices. Choosing a lesser Spice Girl is like choosing a lesser of the Shiba Inu 6. It’s not possible! (But if I had to, I’d choose Sporty Spice. Fuck, here comes the screaming.) When I read that Giuliana accused Jerry of cheating on her with a lesser Spice, I pictured her walking in on him fucking a jar of dill seeds.
Here’s Giuliana whoring out her book for the paps in NYC today.
Pics: Splash
Russell Brand And Ginger Spice Are Doing It
The chlorine-covered (bro)mance between Ryan Lochte and Cullen Jones wasn’t the only flower of true love that bloomed during the Olympics. Today, Geri Halliwell is receiving a special basket full of industrial-strength condoms and different kinds of topical ointments from The Department of Health, because apparently Russell Brand is spreading his dick chutney all over her ginger biscuit.
The Sun says that the ex-Mr. Katy Perry was dating American piece Isabella Brewster, but he put her on the curb so he could be with Geri full-time. Russell has always had a thing for Geri and after the two met up again during the Closing Ceremonies at the Olympics, they started dating and now suddenly it’s “very serious.” The two have been seen on a few dates all over London, and this past weekend they took Geri’s daughter Bluebell Madonna on a tour of Hampton Court Palace. A source says that after two weeks of dating, they’re already in love and shit:
“Things are getting very serious between them — they’re a proper couple now. They had met several times in the past, but really got to know each other during the Olympics. People thought Russell was joking at the time, when he said he had a crush on Geri all over again, but it was true. They just clicked — they have so much in common. He is spending so much more time in London just to be with her.”
Russell Brand was married to Katy Perry for about as long as it took me to swallow three 100-calorie bags of cheese popcorn just now (SPOILER ALERT: 35 seconds) and he dated that Isabella girl for less than that and now he’s suddenly in love with Ginger Spice? Uh huh. Blueballs Madonna has nothing to worry about. I know she’s sick of getting the spooks every time she gets up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night and runs into her half-naked “Uncle Cher” going down to the kitchen, but he’ll be gone soon. Russell will dump Geri after he meets and falls in love with (insert the name of literally anything. Anything. If you typed “crocheted tampon cat toy,” you’re right. Russell will eventually fuck and fall in love with that).
And since we’re on the subject of ginges and Katy Perry, here’s the two together in L’Officiel Paris (via HuffPo).