Open Post: Hosted By The Death Of The $1 New York Pizza Slice
It’s the end of an era. The New York dollar slice is dead. Rest in peace, you dirt-cheap, greasy bastard. The New York Post reports that the last remaining $1 pizza joint, 2 Bros. Pizza, was forced to raise their prices to $1.50 to keep up with inflation. Decades from now, you’ll tell your great-great-grandkids, “I remember the days I could get a slice for a buck.” And, because pizza slices in 2083 will cost you at least ¥137 (or 8,100 NFTs) , the kids will assume you’ve gone mad and finally ship your old ass off to Shady Pines…
2 Bros. Pizza has five locations. Before this week, co-owners Eli and Oren Halali had already raised the prices of slices to $1.50 at three of their shops. Their Bronx and East Village locations were the lone holdouts; not just in their chain, but in all of New York City. Unfortunately, they, too, have now fallen victim to inflation. Eli tells the Post that his shops were “no longer able to break even”:
“Over the past few years, we had done everything in our power to keep the cheese slices at $1 while refusing to compromise on our quality.”
Last year, Eli said he would do his best to keep the plain cheese slice at $1, but soaring cheese costs didn’t look promising. Oren added that it wasn’t just expensive dairy, it was expensive everything:
“Inflation is affecting every single ingredient, every single item we use. Flour, cheese, tomatoes, gloves, paper goods, paper plates, napkins. Everything. Labor is definitely up, as well.”
Here’s a news report about this harrowing story:
Honestly, I’ve never understood how inflation worked. I just don’t have a brain for finances. My solution to all of this would be to print more money, but, according to the Internet, that only makes things worse. See: 1920s Weimar Berlin, when hyperinflation made the German mark so worthless, people burned cash to keep their houses warm (cheaper than wood). A wheelbarrow full of money wouldn’t even buy a newspaper. One U.S. dollar was equivalent to a trillion marks! Some say the chaos created by hyperinflation in Germany enabled Hitler to gain power. So, yeah. I’ll keep my economic advice to myself.
Pic: YouTube