Charo Speaks! Finally An Actual Spanish Person Weighs In On The Hilaria Baldwin Scandal
Good news! Someone has finally found a real live person from Spain willing to comment on Hilaria “Née Hillary” Baldwin’s identity crisis. Best news! It’s international superstar, flamenco guitar virtuoso, and dazzling Goddess of stage and screen Charo! Luckily for Hilaria, Charo’s as kind and generous as she is talented and sexy. Charo, who is not a member of Hilaria’s dubious Spanish “family,” told Page Six she thinks Hilaria’s put-on accent and seeming obsession with “everything Spanish” is funny. See, Charo gets it! Hilaria’s grift was a gift to the world.
Open Post: Hosted By Anti-Coronavirus Queen, Charo!
Charo already saved lives by educating us on the proper way to wash our hands with her cuchi-cuchi and Missi-pee-pee counting, as well as giving us toilet paper tips, but she’s not done. As long as coronavirus is spreading, she’s going to be on the front lines fighting! And she has news from the “CD department” (no, she’s not talking about the music section of an old Best Buy), so listen close!
Open Post: Hosted By Charo’s Toilet Paper Tips
I’ll be honest, I hit PLAY on this video about toilet paper fully expecting to hear a coochie-coochie reference, but no such luck. It is, however, a compelling addition to a now-essential series of public service announcements from international treasure and coronavirus expert, Charo.
Open Post: Hosted By Gloria Gaynor And Charo Teaching You To Wash Your Hands
Coronavirus is the thing that everyone is talking about. It’s everywhere! People are sick, toilet paper is out of stock, and forget trying to find decently-priced hand sanitizer. So it’s easy to get overwhelmed. Well, listen up, the CDC says that thoroughly washing your hands is the way to go. Luckily for us, living legends Gloria Gaynor and Charo are both here to educate the masses on the best way to not catch death.
Kjell Rasten, Charo’s Husband Of 40 Years, Has Died By Suicide
For many of us, Charo is a human disco ball ray of potent happiness and brings us joy with every little cuchi cuchi she does, so now it’s our turn to cuchi cuchi some healing thoughts at her, because she’s in a dark, bad place right now.
TMZ says that Charo’s husband, Kjell Rasten, shot himself yesterday in the Beverly Hills home he shares with her. He was 78. To add a heaping mound of sad on an already mountain of sad, Charo was reportedly home at the time.
One Thing To Look Forward To This Year: Charo Is Playing The Queen Of England In “Sharknado 5”
I don’t know if the foolery providers behind Sharknado give zero fucks or give way too many fucks. I think it’s the second one, but I’m not hating, because they have done what the makers of The Crown should’ve done: they cast Charo as the Queen of England in Sharknado 5: Global Swarming! The tagline for that mess is, “Make America Bait Again!” That’s got me thinking. If Trump never ran for president and SyFy cast him as the president in a Sharknado movie, we’d be like, “Oh, SyFy, time to stop lacing your crack with LSD!”