Earlier this month, T.I. earned himself a “#1 Dad that will publicly embarrass his daughter and cause podcast listeners to squirm uncomfortably in their seats” mug (it’s a big mug). During an appearance on the Ladies Like Us podcast, he discussed the lengths he goes to ensure that his 18-year-old daughter Deyjah Harris remains a virgin, which included being present in a gynecologist’s office during a hymen check. It was a mess, and the internet had a whole lot to say about it.
T.I. and his wife Tiny Harris recently decided to discuss the situation with Jada Pinkett Smith on Red Table Talk, and what do you know? He was just joking, everyone!
There’s been a Tiny heist. Well, heist maybe isn’t the right word to describe what happened to Tameka “Tiny” Harris’ bag of jewels which were allegedly snatched from the console of her parked Lamborghini. Heist implies planning, laser beams, catsuits, synchronized watches, and maybe some sort of thematically appropriate rubber masks. According to WSB 2 News in Atlanta, $750,000 worth of jewels practically walked away by themselves while Tiny was having drinks with a friend.
While getting lit with a bunch of high-pitched, well-dressed white women (AKA my Saturday night), Nicole Scherzinger made some comments which have us all talking about none other than… T.I. and Tiny? Sure, why not. Let’s see what shit she stirred up while drunk off of a margarita.
No, you’re not having a bout of end-of-week brain narcolepsy; this same post happened exactly four months ago. Back in December, it was revealed that Tameka “Tiny” Cottle had filed papers to end her six-year (sometimes-messy) marriage to T.I., just nine months after the birth of their third child. In March they decided to sleep on the thought of splitting up and they got back together. That didn’t last. E! News says that Tiny served T.I. with divorce papers earlier this week. T.I. responded to the papers by filing an acknowledgement on Monday. T.I. and Tiny have been together since 2002. They have three kids and share four step-children.
For the past five years, T.I. and Tiny have starred on a VH1 reality show about their lives, T.I. & Tiny: The Family Hustle. He told Harry Connick Jr. (it still feels like a mistake that he has a talk show) on Thursday that he’ll be sad to see the show end, but that he’s “glad to get people out of my business a little bit.” T.I. might not want to be on TV anymore, but I certainly hope Tiny doesn’t feel the same way. Tiny and her gorgeous living statue face need to be on television. Actually, this would be the perfect time for a third season of the tragically cancelled too soon Tiny and Toya! Tiny is single for the first time in sixteen years, and who better to help her navigate the dating scene than her best friend Toya Wright? Tiny and Toya Learn About Tinder, Wednesdays at 8.
Roll out the fainting couch, grab that soothing eye mask from the freezer and bust open some tissues, because bailamos, everyone. Nothing is forbidden anymore. Yes, after taking so many pure souls from us already, the ghouls that haunt 2016 just sharted on one of the last beacons of ride or die romance with today’s announcement that T.I. (Government name: Clifford Joseph Harris, Jr.) and wife of 6 years, Tameka “Tiny” Cottle are quitting one another.
So that’s why I got a warm feeling deep down in my soul that the world had just gotten a little more gorgeous this weekend. Yeah, that feeling on my insides was probably my heart tightening from the six Mr. Munchy chocolate bunnies I ate, but I’d rather pretend it was triggered by Tameka “Tiny” Harris-née Cottle passing on her teacup Mariah Carey genes to another little girl.
UsWeekly says that Tiny’s husband and honor-defender of almost 16 years, T.I., announced on Facebook that she had given birth to their third child together/seventh in total on Sunday. Baby Tiny is their first daughter; she joins their two sons, 11-year-old Clifford “King” Joseph Harris III and 7-year-old Major Philant. They have four other children from previous relationships.
According to T.I., the reason Baby Tiny’s birth announcement happened on something as basic and tacky as Facebook was because he was out of town when Tiny gave birth in Georgia, and he wasn’t able to get home before a bunch of blabbermouths (like Tiny’s niece) spilled the new baby news all over social media. Good lord, how next-level RUDE. Don’t they understand that by running their mouths about T.I. and Tiny’s baby, they effectively denied the rest of us of an expertly-lit and airbrushed Instagram birth announcement portrait like the picture above?
Not much else is known about T.I. and Tiny’s third baby together. But because Tiny is, well, tiny, I’m going to assume the baby was so tiny it came out of her Botoxed vagina wearing a red blood cell as a hat and riding a partially-digested Fatburger french fry that got lost in her uterus on its way to her stomach.
They also haven’t announced what their new baby’s name is, but as of right now they’re calling it “#Lucky7″. I’m sure it’s just a place holder until they decide on something more permanent. But honestly, if ~unique~ baby names keep going the way they’ve been going, there is a chance that #Lucky7 might be that baby’s name. I’d actually be 100% supportive of such a name; any baby that shares DNA with one-half of Tiny and Toya is the definition of #Lucky.