Justin Bieber got into his mom’s purse during dinner at La Porte Indes in London last night and thought it would be real cute to give himself a skinny stache. This is Justin’s first step into getting a full-fledged beard. They grow up so fast!

You know, a bunch of hornies out there are going to be severely disappointed when they Google “lezzie getting moustached” and this picture comes up first. Well played, Bieber.

I have written about this couple before, but apparently it is getting to the point where some kind of public announcement is coming. I don’t remember how I described them in the past, but one is an openly gay male singer and the other is also male and a singer and is in a heterosexual marriage. Apparently, now that our married singer has ended his most recent tour, he is going to file divorce proceedings soon. He and the other singer are tired of living in the shadows and want to bring their relationship out in the open. (CDAN)

The first blind item about this is here. Back then, I guessed any dude who has been in front of a microphone. But for this one, I’m going to go with Clay Aiken & Ruben Studdard, because I really need to see them on a “We’re Gay and in Love!” cover of People. Alternate guesses: Kris Allen & Glamberace or Lance Bass & Gavin Rossdale?

This actress who can sing, with a sister in the business, just got out of a really intense emotional relationship with another female costar from a movie. She’s technically not bisexual, but she could have been, for her actress costar that broke her heart by putting the brakes on their affair. (BuzzFoto)

Minnie Driver (her sister’s a producer) and Hilary Swank? How could you, Hilary?! Or Dakota Fanning and Kristen Stewart? How could you, Kristen?! Yeah, I’ll go with Kristen since I typed her name with more conviction.

When Boy and Girl 1 were together, Girl 1 had lots and lots of nasty things to say privately about Girl 2, another celebrity. Since Girl 1 and Girl 2 have never run in the same circles (one is known for film, and the other for television), it was unlikely to ever become more than a running joke between our couple that Girl 2 was a “no-talent” “slut”. Well, that is, until they split up. His first public hookup after the split? With Girl 2. To say Girl 1 is furious would be an understatement. The tide has turned, and what started out as an amicable break up has now become an all-out private war that includes lots of screaming matches on the phone about how Girl 1 doesn’t want that “plastic whore” anywhere near their child/ren. For the record, the new relationship is a PR setup. Boy couldn’t care less about Girl 2. He just loves the attention that another relationship brings. And he really, really loves that there is nothing on earth that irritates Girl 1 more. (Blind Gossip)

If you Google “plastic whore” Kim Kardashian comes up on the fourth page, so I’ll guess her, Gabriel Aubry and Halle Berry?

The cast of this successful ensemble television show is totally falling apart! Star 1 and Star 2 mistakenly thought that they were the biggest and most irreplaceable stars of the show, and demanded pay raises disproportionate to the rest of the cast. Not only did the producers call their bluff, they threatened to write out their characters if they didn’t back down immediately. As of today, Star 1 and Star 2 aren’t backing down, so the producers have ordered rewritten scripts – including one in which one of their characters is killed off and the other disappears.

Star 1 is already in negotiations for a new job with a rival network (which has infuriated the producers even more), and Star 2 is panicking because they don’t have anything else lined up. To make matters worse, if those two go, Star 3 (who didn’t demand a raise) will likely be leaving because they are sure the show will now flop. At least Star 3 has multiple projects already lined up to distract from some relationship issues. Star 4 has nowhere else to go and has been walking around with eyes red from crying for a week. Star 5 is smart enough to keep their mouth shut because this shake out will likely result in them taking over as the main character… which is something the producers planned all along. (Blind Gossip)

This could be Glee, but Desperate Housewives makes more sense to my ass. #1 Teri Snatcher, #2 Marcia Cross, #3 Eva Longoria, #4 Felicity Huffman and #5 Vanessa Williams? They better watch out before Marc Cherry gets all melodramatic and pulls out his slapping hand again.

File this under: Paulina Rubio and Alicia Machado make me feel smart, which until now I thought was an impossible task.

Shortly after North Korea attacked South Korea, former Miss Universe Alicia Machado asked her Twitter followers to join hands to say a prayer for THE CHINAS. THE CHINAS. THE CHINAS!!!!

“Tonight I want to ask you to join me in a prayer for peace, that these attacks between the Chinas do not make our situation worse.”

Alicia didn’t like some of her followers throwing DUNCE CAPS at her, so she put a giant CLOSED sign on her Twitter account and quit that bitch. The fuckery didn’t end there. Paulina Rubio picked up one of those Dunce Caps, put it on her head and defended Alicia with this priceless mind queef:

“Déjenla en paz todos los japoneses se parecen y China es muy grande”.

Translation (via ONTD): “Leave Alicia alone. All Japanese people look the same and China is a very big country”.

When did the Japanese join the party?! What is Paulina even going on about?! Can somebody clap near Paulina and Alicia’s heads to turn the damn lights on.

Paulina quickly deleted that Tweet after getting shit thrown at her. And it’s still not over. Alicia tried to clarify her “THE CHINAS” statement to Univision, but it didn’t help.

“No me equivoqué, yo no cometí ningún error, lo que hice fue pedir una oración de muy buena fe por todo el conflicto que se está suscitando en Asia. Lo que pasa es que lo dije de una manera muy coloquial y fue malinterpretado. Obviamente, sé que hay un bombardeo entre Corea del Norte y Corea del Sur. Cuando digo ‘las Chinas’. Ay, mira al gringo’, y resulta que es canadiense. De repente, le dices chino a todo el que ves que es asiático… A eso me refería”.

VERY roughly translated (via ONTD and Google Translator): “I was not wrong, I do not make any mistakes. What I did was ask a prayer of good faith for the conflict that is happening in Asia. I said it in a very informal way and was misinterpreted. Obviously, I know there is conflict between North Korea and South Korea. It was just a funny way to refer to the entire Asian continent. Like when we say ‘Look at that Gringo’ and turns out that he’s Canadian. We call Chinese to everyone who looks Asian. That’s what I meant.”

There’s really no need for me to kick at them, because they’ve pretty much kicked their own asses.

Reading that entire dumbass skid mark has given me the confidence to try to conquer things I never thought I could conquer before. You know, like a 12-piece jigsaw puzzle or the crossword puzzle in Star Magazine.

via ONTD

Prince Chunk, the fat pussy who waddled into our hearts 2 years ago after his owner abandoned him, has died at the age of “about 10 years old” of heart disease. Prince Chunk’s adoptive owner Vince Damiani told AP that he died in his sleep last Sunday. Pour out a bag (or a dozen) of Kit ‘N Kaboodle for Prince Chunk. Keep pouring!

The Kirstie Alley of cats became a national superstar sensation after animal control found him wandering the streets of New Jersey. Prince Chunk’s owner lost her home in a foreclosure and couldn’t afford to keep him. At the time, it was reported that Prince Chunk weighed in at 44lbs., but Mr. Damiani thinks this number was more bloated than Prince Chunk, because the cat weighed 22lbs when he adopted him.

Prince Chunk’s memory will not only live on in the permanent dent in Mr. Damiani’s sofa where he used to sleep. It will also live on in The Prince Chunk Foundation, a nonprofit charity that helps financially strapped owners keep their animal friends.

Rest in peace, Prince Chunk… I’m sure you’re jumping into trees like a skinny bitch up in heaven!

The Real Housewives of Atlanta’s resident wigcrow Kim Zolciak has already denied away on her Twitter that this picture from TMZ was taken while she had a money order, I mean, fetus, brewing in her womb. According to TMZ, Kim was caught sucking on a fag at the Georgia Dome on November 7th, just a couple of weeks before she made her blessed baby announcement on the cover of Life & Style. But Kim, who used to be a nurse, says that TMZ must be boozing and bonging while blogging again (like there’s any other way?), because the dates are all kinds of mixed up.

Let’s say TMZ isn’t wrong with their date, is it really such an awful thing (yes, it is)? If you knew that in a few months you’d be wearing a custom-made wiglette and baby rouge, wouldn’t you need to numb the stress with some nicotine? Kim is probably wondering why her baby is kicking at her stomach so early. Baby isn’t trying to karate kick its way out. It’s trying to let her know in Morse code to send a bottle of something strong up there!

Besides, it could be a lot worse. The picture could be of Kim playing “Google Me” for her unborn baby.

Before I accept my lifetime achievement MS Paint Award for the intricate and realistic work above, let’s talk about Amy Wino’s brand new forever island friend. We already know that wherever Wino goes, she ends up bonding with the local creatures. When she was in St. Lucia a while ago, she became yard mother to a pack of dogs. When she lived in Camden, the crack-addicted roaches and mice regularly did up her crackhive for her Cinderella-style before she stumbled out every night. And now that she’s spending time in Barbados, she has become friends with one of the monkeys. As Fark would say, The Sun is there:

A source said: “Amy has made friends with a monkey. It came up to her and she fed it and it’s been following her around.

“She’s been telling friends how much she loves it and would love to bring it back with her.”

I would make a joke about how the monkey just thinks Wino is its long-lost biological mother, but that primate ho is smarter than that. It’s just sniffing on Wino because it knows she’s got the good shit. And I hate HATE hate Google right now. Somebody connect me to their complaint department! While doing photo research for this future Pulitzer Prize winning story, I Googled “woman and monkey” and (NSFL) this came up first. The look on the monkey’s face says “I don’t need this shit right now” and I co-sign that!