Category: Metallica

Open Post: Hosted By The Baby Born At A Metallica Concert

May 10, 2022 / Posted by:

On Saturday night Metallica played a show in Curitiba, Brazil. This concert was originally scheduled for April 2020, but it kept getting COVID-postponed. Tattoo artist Joice Figueiró and her husband Jaime bought their tickets nearly three years ago, and were determined to go, hell or high water! So what if Joice was 39 weeks pregnant? If her unborn child knew what was good for him, he’d stay put in her belly. Baby Figueiró laid dormant for the two opening bands, but when Metallica took to the stage, all bets were off. Joice started having contractions! With just three songs left in the band’s set, her husband called the fire department. But it was too late; when medics arrived, they helped deliver the baby as Metallica played “Enter Sandman.” Look, the child’s first language is Portuguese and his tiny ears were being squeezed by his mother’s birth canal, all he could make out was “Enter.”

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Hmmm… I Wonder Who Turned Off James Hetfield’s Mic At The Grammys…

February 13, 2017 / Posted by:

Metallica and Lady Gaga performed together at the Grammys last night, but if you went by Laverne Cox’s introduction, Lady Gaga and Lady Gaga alone performed! While introducing their performance, Laverne totally forgot to say Metallica’s name. You had ONE job, Laverne! Laverne’s fuck-up was some foreshadowing shit. Laverne wasn’t the only one who forgot about Metallica. It seems like whoever was in charge of turning James Hetfield’s mic on forgot about them too.

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