At the opening of the W Hotel in Buckhead, GA last night, NeNe and Kim from The Really Broke Housewives of Atlanta came face to broke ass wig. According to fake fuck Kim, the reunion was wonderful. But according to NeNe, that hobag Kim will never wear the other half of her “Best Friends Forever” broken heart pendant.

Kim told People after she arrived, “I am actually waiting on NeNe right now. We are buddies. When the filming stopped, we had a glass of wine, talked and it was great. I miss her.”

On the other side of the coin, NeNe said, “Kim says that we are friends now, oh really? Well, I never make the same mistake twice. We can squash the drama, but we will never be friends. She is not a good friend. We can be associates, but never friends.”

Lisa Wu added, “I’m a business woman!”

Unfortunately, their reunion didn’t end with Kim’s tortured dog wig getting rushed to the nearest animal hospital after NeNe mauled the fuck out of it.

And It may be the sugar high talking because I just downed a huge Oreo and caramel shake, but this is the best I’ve seen Kim’s wig look. Maybe she finally took that bitch in to get groomed properly at Petco.

Image VIA Nelson’s News

I don’t know if you’ve been following the mess known as Kelly Rutherford’s custody battle with her gay-baby-faced estranged husband, but I have. I didn’t really post any of the details on here, because I figured nobody really gave a crap. Judging by the lone Inside Edition microphone in Kelly’s face, I was probably right about that.

The whole shit started when Kelly, who is knocked up with their second kid, filed for divorce from her millionaire husband Daniel Giersch. Kelly wanted to take her 2-year-old Herpes (opt: on purpose typo) to NYC this Sunday to shoot Gossip Girl. Her husband refused to let her go, so they all went to court!

During the past couple of days, GBF told a judge that Kelly gets all crazy while she’s shooting and won’t have time to care of Hermes. Daniel also said Kelly doesn’t know how to wipe their son’s ass properly and thinks it’s creepy that she still breastfeeds him. In Kelly’s defense, wiping ass is gross. Even your own. If I had to clean a baby’s caca-covered ass, I’d just turn the garden hose on it. Now I’m going to close my fat mouth for now about the breastfeeding thing. The last time I touched it, La Leche League threatened to shut me up by sticking their lactating nipples in my mouth. All I can say is that maybe Kelly wants to bring Hermes to NYC because her nipples get lonely. OKAY! I’m stopping.

After all the drama and ass wiping allegiations, a judge decided that Kelly can take Hermes to NYC. During the next couple of months, Hermes will split his time between New York and L.A. while Kelly and GBF try to work out some kind of custody agreement.

They will all go back to court in April for more party times!

Sienna Miller’s vagina of destruction is about to wreak havoc on Manhattan! Playbill has confirmed that my favorite happy homewrecker will make her Broadway debut in Miss Julie this fall. That shit is about fucking in old timey England or something like that. Just expect a lot of nipple slips from Sienna and maybe she’ll throw in a crotch slip to really guarantee a Tony nomination.

There’s no point in the wives of NYC twisting their husband’s dicks like a pretzel and putting a padlock on it. Nope. Sienna Miller’s Cloverpussy can bust through chains. Bitch has got the MacGyver of coochies. She can pick a lock with her clit and untie a knot with her labia lips. Skills.

I can’t wait for the sluttery that Sienna will bring to NYC.

Oriental Trading Company is truly the finest catalog in the universe – Urlesque

George Clooney scrubs back into the ER – Popsugar

Katie Price’s bodyguard tries to cop a feel. He should just grope a Tupperware bowl. It’s the same thing – Hollywood Tuna

When McSteamy breaks his peen, everyone runs to Google – Towleroad

Alessandra Ambrosio is superhuman. Didn’t she just have a baby like ten seconds ago? – Egotastic!

Those jeans are almost as fug as her face – Hollywood Rag

BEAUTIFUL – Cityrag

Why does Clive Owen look like my skeezy drunk uncle who always gets handsy with waitresses? – Just Jared

Cheetoella! – Lainey Gossip

Kim Kardashian’s driver forgets about her (site NSFW) – Drunken Stepfather

P.S. – This here blog is up for 2 Bloggies: Gossip and Blog of the Year. If you’re bored and need to burn some calories, click here (you will burn 0.0025 calories doing this) to vote.

Jeremy Piven is the Kanye West of cable TV, but less cappy and filled with many more gallons of douchewater. Jeremy did a photo shoot with Page Six Magazine back in September to promote the Broadway play he later quit because he had rotten fish in his system or some shit.

The Piv was such a mega asstard during the shoot that Page Six Magazine has an article in this week’s issued called: “Is Jeremy Piven the biggest jerk in showbiz?” The answer is brought to you by the letters: Y-E-S.

They say that at the shoot, The Piv was asked to pose for just a normal headshot. He answered, “This isn’t my first time on the merry-go-round. You want mediocre? I can give you mediocre.” Yeah, Jeremy, I’ve seen a couple of episodes of Cupid.

After about an hour of The Piv not giving it his all, he ducked under the camera, let out a “gutteral moan,” ripped the sleeves off an Armani shirt and gave us the picture above. The GREATNESS inside his soul was finally able to pour out. Too bad all the shit he’s got in there didn’t come pouring out too.

The gutteral moan probably came from the jumbo stick of Mercury that’s shoved up his colon. And he totally looks like he’s suffering from the hard shits in that picture. Push that stick out so the caca river can flow, Piv.

Look! Miss Bliss gained some chunk, got a dyke haircut and fell in love with Screech! I knew those two had love in their eyes for each other. I’m not going to lie. I thought it that was Dustin Diamond (with Jakey Poo’s droopy eyes) for a quick second. And then I felt faint picturing Gayken getting a Dirty Sanchez from Screech. Some shit (literally) you just don’t want to imagine. Anycaca, Gayken and his Screech-looking man are here to host this open post for you. Whatever you do, don’t lick his finger. Leave that to the Claymates.

But I will lick his finger as punishment for forgetting Dlisted’s birthday today. I am the worst mother ever. The Shiba Inu 6 can drag my “Mother of the Year” plaque away, because I am just fucking terrible. One of my friends is the one to tell me today is Dlisted’s 4th birthday. Yes, the mess started 4 years ago. Oh how times flies when you’re being cunty.

Let’s all raise a glass of Andre and wish Dlisted a HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Thanks for bringing all us cold-hearted whores with no morals together!