Once the cast of Jersey Shore finishes scooting their ass slime all over the city of Miami, they will head back to Seaside Heights to shoot the of the season there. More fist pumpin’ and face punchin’ at Karma! Hopefully, The Grenade is ready to blow again!

MTV said this shit in a statement: “It’s official, the ‘Jersey Shore’ cast began filming Season 2 in Miami. Once the boardwalk heats back up, the series will return to the Jersey Shore to complete the season. The new season is set to premiere Thursday, July 29, at 10 p.m. ET/PT on MTV.”

Why do they need to wait until the boardwalk “heats back up“? Have they seen how orange those bitches are? They can bring the heat with them. Shit, Pauly D’s complexion can make a Sunflower seed, sprout, bloom and burn up! He’s like walking Photosynthesis. And all of them together can roast a dozen frozen chickens on their skin, and start a fire just by standing over a magnifying glass. There’s no need to wait.

Here’s the Jersey Whores shooting scenes in Miami today. Snooki should probably take her sunglasses to the free clinic, because it looks like it’s already covered in crotch barnacles.

Which macho sports star has a secret penchant for slim dark men? The fella in question has a girlfriend but made a play for another man at the weekend… (3am)

Just ignore the macho part and go with Cristiano Ronaldo? The brows don’t lie!

This former A list television actor and former B list movie actor is now on a hit cable television show, but he is probably just a B- now. Big, big name recognition though. He is married to an actress. Anyway, he recently has been sporting bruises all over his body. When his friends asked how he got them, our actor said it was from a new kick boxing regimen. Actually though they are a result of his wife toppling a full bookcase on our actor after she caught him passed out drunk on their living room floor. He had told her he was sober now. (CDAN)

David Duchovny & Tea Leoni? They could’ve just blamed it on the earthquake.

We know it’s always surprising to hear about couples who split a long time ago without our knowing it. This good-looking acting couple is another example. They’ve each done at least one long-running series, and have done many film roles. They’ve each been red-hot at some point, but have both cooled off in the career department. Errors on his part, rumors on her part. While he was definitely not the ideal family man, she didn’t turn out to be an angel either. They publicly split, then got back together, saying that they were going to renew their wedding vows. You probably didn’t know that the renewed vows never happened. In fact, the couple is already divorced. While the story isn’t out there yet, at least you now know the naked truth. (The Blind Gossip)

See above.

This very young, but legal, socialite reality star (not cable) was at a party the other night when she made it very clear that she was available for the night for the right price. Her asking price? $25,000. When one guy asked her how come she charged so much she said, “I’m on a reality show. I have a DVD of one of the episodes if you want to watch.” (CDAN)

Malik So-Chic from that High Society disaster? It costs extra to lick his bald head.

It has been claimed that Demi Moore’s body has been sucked more than Gerard Butler on any given weeknight, tucked more than the entire cast of RuPaul’s Drag Race, and stretched more than Gay Al’s b-hole during White Party weekend, but she tells Elle UK (via DM) this isn’t so. Demi says that she used to be obsessed with the way her body image, but now she doesn’t really give a dirty tampon.

Demi says, “I had an extreme obsession with my body. I made it a measure of my own value. I tried to dominate it, which I did, and I changed it multiple times over. But it never lasted and ultimately it didn’t bring me anything but temporary happiness. Does being thin resolve anything? No. The irony is that when I abandoned that desire to dominate my body, it actually became the body that I’d always wanted. But it only happened when I stopped trying to control it. At the end of the day, this kind of obsession is pointless and meaningless.”

And about that plastic surgery rumor, Demi says, “I have had something done but it’s not on my face. It feels like school-yard name-calling a lot of the time. It hurts. You know what? Maybe one day I’ll go under the knife. It just irritates me that people are constantly saying how much I’ve spent on plastic surgery.”

Anybody who watched Striptease knows that “something she had done.” Well, unless Moses magically appeared before her and parted her tittays for some strange reason. You know, the only way Demi Moore never had any plastic surgery on her face is if she has the same genetic make up as Julie Masking.

And you know that somewhere in the world, there’s a plastic surgeon’s knife pissed off and hurt that Demi Moore is denying ever meeting it. That heartless bitch!

As if seeing Michael Lohan in a tucked-in wife beater wasn’t gross enough, he just had to go and wear a cell phone holster and a tampon purse! There goes my everything! – The Superficial

You know Gayle was jealous that Oprah got to get that close to Sue Sylvester – Lainey Gossip

Sophie Monk on Ralph – Egotastic!

Paris Hilton still exists (site NSFW) – Drunken Stepfather

Whoever Michelle Hunziker is, she’s been in a two-piece a lot latey. Apparently. – Hollywood Tuna

Ellen Degeneres hate America – Towleroad

Exciting Development of the Day: Jennifer Aniston…walking…while carrying….an iced…tea – Popoholic

Fergie Ferg gets the sads when mean people like moi call her Fuggie Fug – Celebitchy

A comatose otter could pretend to play a guitar better than RiRi – Just Jared

HAHAHA! Now this is the look for RPattz – Popsugar

The Real L Word needs more Rojo – OMG Blog

Fug’s new favorite couple – ICYDK

Shouldn’t Nicole Richie have a Phd from traffic school already? – Hollywood Rag

HATE IT! – I’m Not Obsessed

Chat roulette piano man is the new Glittery Gay of You Tube (not really) – Cityrag

Rest in peace, Malcolm McLaren – Holy Moly

Tell everyone in the office you’re taking a long break, close the door to your cubicle office, keep a box of tissues close and enjoy these covers of Details Magazine featuring the hot pieces from True Blood (sans Lafayette). Afterwards, write an apology note on a Post-It to the office cleaner letting them know that you accidentally got a little blue cheese dressing on your chair.

And if you need me, I’ll just be sitting here waiting for the coming of the multiple male orgasm.

While visiting cadets-in-training at Black Mountains at Brecon Beacons National Park, Prince Hot Ginge was greeted by a granmama whose knees turned to clotted cream after he gave her a little royal air kiss on the cheek. Is PHG trying to put granny on a gurney?! He needs to be more aware of the effect he has on the hearts of mere mortals. But you know, this is giving me an idea….

Notice how close grandma is to the royal jewels. She got that close without the British Secret Service tackling her to the ground. Hm. I already have an olive green suit from Chico’s, a sensible purse from Coldwater Creek and day boots from Dillard’s, so all I need is the wig. I’ve found an in!