Baaaahd boys baaaaahd boys whatcha gonna ewe… – Paylo

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High on a pill was a lonely goatherd… – Richbitch

Pic: Cheezburger

The Guy on the Couch from Half Baked!

Today is Pizza Dog Appreciation Day (aka 420) and in honor of this blessed hoLITday, let’s pay tribute to a stoner hero of the cinema, That Guy on the Couch (as played by Gary’s dentist from Desperately Seeking Susan). That Guy on the Couch is like the stoner equivalent of THOT, and Dave Chappelle said that he based the character on a real guy who lived on his couch as he wrote the script with his writing partner Neal Brennan.

That Guy on the Couch (not to be confused with my chronically lazy dog, That Chi on the Couch) is a stoner legend, but he’s a total stereotype. Not all stoners are lazy sloth humans in an easy access onesie who live rent-free on a friend’s really ugly couch and only get up to toke on the good shit. That is sooooo not true. Cut to me lounging on a really ugly couch with my hair looking like weasels had a knife in it and my ass hanging out of the easy access flap on my onesie as I only pull my fingers off of the keyboard to light up.

Happy 420 to you TGOTCs and everybody else!

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Suri Cruise turned 10 years old in NYC yesterday while Tommy Cruise was off in London filming something. Tommy has reportedly not seen Suri in a while, but I’m sure her sent her a loving text message that read, “Happy human birthday, you adorable little SP, you!” – Lainey Gossip 

Bella Hadid looks like a soulless deer caught in the headlights in W Korea – The Nip Slip 

Let The Porn Iguana twerk a serving of reptile elegance into your eyes – Drunken Stepfather

I miss the time (5 seconds ago) when I was pure and innocent and didn’t read Subway Jared’s disgusting tweets – The Superficial 

Stana Katic checked out of Castle because she hates Nathan Fillion and his diva ways, allegedly – Celebitchy

The lady with the Fix-A-Flat face is going to be on Botched next season – Reality Tea 

The Hoff wants his ex to stop hassling The Hoff for $21,000 a month – IDLYITW

Erika Jayne giving you Baby Spice as possessed by the spirit of one of Nicki Minaj’s wigs – Jezebel

La’Porsha Renae is still backpedalling like the rent was due last week and she needs those pink dollars bad – Towleroad

Elizabeth Banks as Rita Repulsa looks more like an alien Poison Ivy. I kind of want to wrap her in rolling papers and smoke her up – Pajiba

Haven’t we all been that clumsy ball boy before? – Hollywood Tuna 

Chrissy Teigen’s newborn baby looks like a newborn baby – Popsugar

Jessica Biel looks like she’s wearing the adult version of a toddler’s Easter jacket from the 60s – Popoholic

Jon Snow’s nalgas look like this – OMG Blog 

This lemur is way too high maintenance – The Berry 

Deena Murphy and Timothy Sullivan (the ones on the right who are dressed like Mary Kay regional managers) have thrown a lawsuit at the production company behind HGTV’s Love It Or List It for doing a renovation that was as bad as the acting skills on that show. Deena and Timothy claim that the show, brace yourself, is fake and it’s so fake that the load bearing beam that was installed in their house was actually just a long cardboard box that was filled with rocks and covered in faux wood grain paint. No, but they did say in so many words that a 4-year-old with a Playskool toolbox could’ve done a better job with the renovations.

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I wonder if he gets to take that busted shark costume with him? Probably. If you’re the type who usually starts your day by chugging a pot of coffee while watching Live! with Kelly and Michael, this is going to make you feel things. Earlier today, bowel regularity pitchman Michael Strahan sent out a memo to everyone announcing that after four years as co-host of Live! with Kelly and Michael, he was packing up his things and leaving at the end of this season. I’m sure the Travel Trivia Wheel is planning a goodbye barbecue courtesy of Omaha Steaks as we speak.

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