Hot Slut Of The Day!
This bow of pure and potent elegance from ASOS!
Since I know you were planning to go to midnight mass on Christmas Eve, trash whatever you were planning to wear, because here is a fashionable work of demure sophistication that is tasteful, conservative, festive and extremely respectable. In fact, many religion historians will tell you that this is what Mary really wore during the birth of Jesus. (My Catholic abuelita is really going to chancleta me in the mouth for that one.) I also hear that Shauna Sand wore this in white to her first wedding. It’s that classic and genteel.
As Racked points out, ASOS is selling a stunningly delicate coochie-splitting lingerie thing from Bluebella. You may be thinking to yourself that there’s no way you can afford such a luxurious-looking piece of cloth, but it’s actually only $25, which is not a lot of money for something that will make you look like a ten billion dollar goddess of elegance. Many a cheap trick will try to replicate this opulent look using an old torn sheet, a plastic picnic tablecloth or scrap fabric from Jo-Ann and it’ll probably look exactly like this, but it still won’t be from ASOS, so judge them accordingly.
And Melania Trump is probably going to wear this to the Inauguration. I mean, it is a pussy bow of sorts.
Pics: ASOS
Birthday Sluts
Susan Lucci (70)
Harry Judd (31)
Holly Madison (37)
Kat Perkins (37)
Jodie Marsh (38)
Estella Warren (38)
Esthero (38)
Sky Lopez (41)
Tara Palmer-Tomkinson (45)
Naked Cowboy (46)
Quincy Jones III (48)
Carla Bruni-Sarkozy (49)
Eddie Vedder (52)
Jess Harnell (53)
Joan Severance (58)
Harry Shearer (73)
Frederic Forrest (80)
Emperor Akihito of Japan (83)
Corey Haim (1971-2010)
Pic: ABC
Night Crumbs
Leave it to Dame Helen Mirren to still bring the nipple tip-burning sexiness to the London premiere of a movie that is a flop in every way. (With that being said, after reading the twists in Collateral Beauty, I can’t wait to see it because I love a good WTF disaster.) – Lainey Gossip
Be Chanel West Coast this holiday season and take a nipple selfie while out in public – (NSFWish) Drunken Stepfather
Gigi Hadid’s PR team would like everyone to know that she turned down Zayn Malik’s proposal – Celebitchy
Okay, but if a tape of Donald Trump in a Russian orgy exists and Tom Arnold watched it, do you think he fapped to it? – The Superficial
Since Vicki Gunvalson is Bravo’s resident Botoxed-roach who will never ever go away, she’ll be back on Real Housewives of Orange County for season 12 and as a lover of her shameless craziness, I’m into it – Reality Tea
Anne Rice is gay without being gay – Towleroad
“Girl, who are you fooling with that ‘hide the bump with a bag’ trick?” – the dude throwing a side-eye in that pic – Popoholic
The Dune reboot got a director – Pajiba
Dick Van Dyke had me at that Liza Minnelli shimmy – SOW
Why do I have a feeling that even after Christmas ends, these LOVE Advent videos will keep happening? – Hollywood Tuna
Tiger Woods as Mac Daddy Santa looks more like Tiger Woods as Hulk Hogan – Just Jared
Princess Charlene is kind of giving me “disco Brigitte Nielsen” in the Monaco royal family Christmas card – Popsugar
Pic: Wenn.com
The Love Story Of Our Time Is Over Before It Even Started
File this under: Shit you can talk to your 10-year-old cousin about while the other adults are fighting about politics on Christmas Day.
Our faith in true love was restored a few days ago when completely organic pictures of 19-year-old Bella Thorne (star of Boo! A Madea Halloween) and 24-year-old Charlie Puth (the toddler-faced crooner who is responsible for that One Call Away song) came out. The certified natural pictures were of Bella and Charlie looking like a couple on the beach as she gifted the eyes of beachgoers with her three-cent Pretty Woman cosplay glamour. But sadly, their days of doing staged photo-ops are behind them, because they’re over. I know, I can’t believe I’m writing about them again either. But it was either them or that other fake couple (Blob & Chinet).
Open Post: Hosted By “Adult Wrapping”
That terrifying picture looks either like a still from a horror movie about a human cannibal giant who loves eating people wontons, or like a still from a documentary about people whose fetish of choice is sucking themselves off while suffocating in a sex cocoon. But that’s not what’s going on in that picture. It may look like a claustrophobic’s come-to-life night terror, but it’s actually supposed to be an act of soothing therapy.
Evan Rachel Wood Is Probably Dating Her Bandmate
Evan Rachel Wood called it quits with her husband Jamie Bell back in 2014, and if I knew anything about the two of them was that they loved to dress like an ironic husband and wife Arcade Fire cover band. I wondered if Evan would ever find someone to join her in hipster band cosplay ever again. Turns out she has. And that person is her fellow real-life band member.
Evan is in an electro-pop duo called Rebel and a Basketcase (yes, named after The Breakfast Club) with a guy named Zach Villa. UsWeekly says they’ve been making more than just pretentious music. They were seen kissing at a party after the Critics’ Choice Awards. Last week they were seen holding hands while walking through an airport in Montreal. Okay, but to be fair, holding hands might not be confirmation that they’re doing it. They might have been holding hands to make sure that neither of them wandered off and got lost in the airport after catching a whiff of delicious poutine.
Evan Rachel Wood hasn’t said if she’s dating V for Villa. But do we really need that? Here are some pictures of ERW and her man at the Los Angeles premiere of Into The Forest back in June. Choosing to show up to an event all matchy-matchy tells us this is way beyond casual thing. Kristen Stewart is looking at these pictures and giving them both a round of apathetic applause for Evan and Zach’s hipster couple commitment. “Matching bleached hair swoops? AND on the same side too? Bravo (sniffles back tears) bravo.”
