The former cast member from Laguna Beach/The Hills who got the most press in 2016 was Kristin Cavallari, which made sense, since 2016 seemed to be not-so-secretly out to get us all. Well, 2017 has decided to take a less aggressive approach by throwing Lauren Conrad back into the spotlight. Kitson may be long gone, but the glory days of the early 2000s will live on as long as girls from The Hills keep getting knocked up.

The human equivalent of the basket of bread the waiter brings you at The Cheesecake Factory recently announced on Instagram that she and her husband of two years, William Tell, are going to be parents.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BOukSkwgKAy/?taken-by=laurenconrad

The Hills girls are all slowly turning into The Bumps (I deserve all the groans for that one). Lauren is about to become a mommy, Audrina Patridge became a mommy last June, Kristin is a mommy three times. Heidi Montag has one child (Spencer Pratt). Meanwhile, my personal favorite Hills girl, Jen Bunney, has been pretty MIA, which is entirely wrong. If 2017 wants to make it up to me, it will bring back that shady bitch Jen Bunney for some reason (find a way, 2017).

LC doesn’t say when her BB is due or anything else like that. But I’m sure we’ll get an update when she figures out some kind of truly-janky DIY pregnancy craft. “Hey everyone, here’s a fun fringed boho crib mobile made out of fabric scraps! All you need is a pair of pinking shears and about 10-15 cashmere onesies from Petit Tresor.”

Pic: Wenn.com

The Hollyweed sign that started off 2017 the right way!

A giant chunk of 2016 may have been as pleasant as getting claw banged in the dick slit by a tiger, but 2017 has already started off on a high note (high being the key word) thanks to the hero who changed the Hollywood sign to Hollyweed yesterday.

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Jack Hanna (70)
Shelley Hennig (30)
Kate Bosworth (34)
Erica Hubbard (38)
Karina Smirnoff (39)
Paz Vega (41)
Dax Shepard (42)
Will Kirby (44)
Taye Diggs (46)
Renee Elise Goldsberry (46)
Sheree Whitfield (47)
Christy Turlington (48)
Cuba Gooding Jr. (49)
Tia Carrere (50)
Jón Gnarr, the former Mayor of Reykjavík (50)
Gabrielle Carteris (56)
Todd Haynes (56)
Christopher Durang (68)

Pic: Pantagraph

Not to be outdone by the iconic messiness that ABC and Mimi delivered on New Year’s night, CNN brought Drunk Don Lemon back and dude hit all of the drunk bitch bases. He got a piercing he’ll probably regret and spilled out his feelings like your drunk cousin does while eating a Monster Taco in a Jack In The Box parking lot after partying all night. The other TV tricks working on NYE should take notes from Mimi and Don, because if you don’t look a mess on NYE, you’re doing NYE wrong.

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Mariah Carey’s amazing train wreck New Year’s Eve performance! 2016 saved the most cringeworthy nugget for last and I loved every messy and magnificent second of it.

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Verne Troyer (48)
Diamond White (19)
Meryl Davis (30)
Eden Riegel (36)
Elin Nordegren (37)
Jonah Peretti (43)
Danny Lloyd (44)
Mimi Faust (46)
Tameka Foster (46)
Morris Chestnut (48)
Mr. Lawrence (48)
Spencer Tunick (50)
Dedee Pfeiffer (53)
Grandmaster Flash (59)
Max Azria (68)
Frank Langella (79)

Pic: Instagram