Happy New Year From A Wasted Don Lemon!

January 1, 2017 / Posted by:

Not to be outdone by the iconic messiness that ABC and Mimi delivered on New Year’s night, CNN brought Drunk Don Lemon back and dude hit all of the drunk bitch bases. He got a piercing he’ll probably regret and spilled out his feelings like your drunk cousin does while eating a Monster Taco in a Jack In The Box parking lot after partying all night. The other TV tricks working on NYE should take notes from Mimi and Don, because if you don’t look a mess on NYE, you’re doing NYE wrong.

As Kathy Griffin and The Silver Fox did their thing in Times Square, Don Lemon did his in New Orleans with Brooke Baldwin and by that I mean he got plastered. December 31st is really becoming the one day of the year when Don Lemon is completely likable!  Here’s some of what Drunk Don Lemon did on New Year’s Eve.

Drunk Don Lemon got his ear pierced and chose a tasteful and tiny fleur-de-lis earring. If I had to watch any CNN reporter get a piercing, I’d want to see Wolf Blitzer get his b-hole pierced or The Silver Fox get his peen lip pierced, but I’ll take this.

Drunk Don Lemon admitted that he was lit.

Drunk Don Lemon did some kind of drunken Les Miserable flag-waving dance on top of a table.

Drunk Don Lemon became the voice of the people when he said that 2016 was awful. And a producer became that friend who puts their hand over your drunken mouth to keep you from saying shit when they cut Don Lemon’s mic off.

And after the tequila opened up the door to his emotions, Drunk Don Lemon went on about how he’s ready for a relationship. His messy ass was another shot away from slurring out an acoustic version of Nobody Knows The Trouble I’ve Seen.

Brooke Baldwin looks like she’s thinking to herself, “I went to journalism school for this…

But really, when Hungover Don Lemon woke up this morning, next to him was probably the Walter Cronkite Award for Excellence in Journalism, because he definitely did his best work last night!

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