Parasite Hilton was in Spain last week and tried to look sexy for the locals. Bitch is not sexy. Obese, Tijuana hookers are sexier than this trash and cleaner. Club and hotel owners are also getting sick of this mess. Bungalow 8 and The Bryant Park Hotel in NYC have both denied her of entrance, because they are trying to do something different. Yeah, letting disease free people in. Add the Tower Bar in Los Angeles to that list. Esquire held a party there this past weekend and Paris was told not to show, because the bar doesn’t want to associate themselves with trash.

Let the Parasite ban begin!

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Dlisted reader, Timothy, attended the MTV U Woodie Awards last night. I’m not sure what that is, but I’ll take it. He witnessed some strange interaction between Elijah Wood and Jared Leto. Here’s what went down:

Last night I went to the MTV U Woodie Awards ( what the fuck are those right?) and luckily I scored a spot in one of the “common folk” pens right near the celebrity tables. So the entire night I am ten feet from Elijah Wood, who is cuter than expected, shorter than expected and smokes a lot (yeah they let the celebrities smoke at their tables….fuckers) Anyway also in attendance was Jared Leto with his stupid band 30 Seconds to Mars. The show went as expected bands played, bands I never heard of won awards etc. As the show was winding down and TV on the Radio was performing Jared Leto was working the tables, saying hey.

He then comes over to Elijah’s table. I’m like “Oh my god they are totes gonna make out”. Jared puts his arm on the hobbits back and starts whispering stuff in his ear and and occasionally pulling back to look him in the face. Jared then walks away and Elijah turns to his date for the evening friends and says something. Well something about this must have pissed Jared off because he comes running back to the table, grabs Elijah by the neck and starts screaming at him. All I could catch was Jared calling him a “fucking asshole”. He then shoves Elijah and storms off. Bodyguards come up and Elijah assures everyone he’s fine. But MAD drama. Any speculations? Maybe its about them both tappin’ the firecrotch.

Hmm…well I speculate 1 our of these 3 things are the cause for this kind of mad dash to squash the midget.

1) Jordan left his lucky panties at Elijah’s house and wants them like really bad. Elijah wants to sell them on eBay.
2) Elijah stole Jared’s role in the remake to Leprechaun
3) Elijah gave Jared vaginal warts

Anna Nicole Smith has been officially ordered to get the fuck out of her Bahamas home by Halloween. A politician doesn’t think the bitch is good enough to be a resident. Some political dude named, Hubert Ingraham, asked his government to look into her residency status.

He said, “Clearly, Anna Nicole Smith is not a fit and proper person to become a permanent resident of the Bahamas. Her general character and reputation don’t commend her for such status. If she doesn’t own the house, then she would not have met the policy conditions which the government of the Bahamas has with respect to the grant of permanent residence.”

Bitch doesn’t want to return to California, because when she does she will have to deal with a paternity suit filed by Larry Birkhead, the dude that claims to be Danielynn Stern’s true father.

Damn! You know that when the Bahamas throws you out, you’re fucked. Why don’t we have those “good character” laws over here? Half of Hollywood would be living somewhere else! When do we vote?!?

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Dear Julie & Mark, Merry Christmas from the Hogans! We wish you a holiday season full of love, joy and unhealthy servings of whey protein. Happy holidays! Hulk, Linda, Brooke, Nick & Clorox – Moonlite

Lisa Fischer

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