As if losing an hour of sleep for daylight savings time wasn’t the most INSUFFERABLE thing about this day already, Saturday Night Live just went and made the weekend worse with their GOOP parody on Weekend Update. I don’t know what’s worse, the fact that they brought Gwyneth Paltrow on as a surprise guest to make fun of her to her face yet failed by pulling back on all of their punches, or that they failed to offer a mock PSA on the benefits of steaming one’s vagina while simultaneously boiling water for making organic zucchini spaghetti. Major missed opportunity.
Wait – Halsey performed on Saturday Night Live but was also the host? Was this SNL’s version of frugality – getting some sorta-known singer to also speak words in skits? Whatever it was – Halsey probably realized she’s not exactly on the superstar train just yet. So she knew she had to make her performances as memorable as possible. Which she did by painting a portrait of her (?) face on the stage floor while singing her song “Eastside” during her second song. And she painted upside down!
There are blessed few things in this world that are a simple snack for the mind, body, and soul. And Jason Momoa shaking his money maker to RuPaul’s “Freaky Money” in a half-baked Saturday Night Live sketch called An Extra Christmas Carol is one of them. From Jason’s Land Of Make Believe accent, to his hopeless attempt at making every grain of sugar in his tank shine, to the self-consciously delivered body rolls, we stan a goofy queen. Jason’s “extra ghost”, juxtaposed against a very convincing set, professional costumes and an expertly delivered straight-man performance by Mikey Day, goes down like two buttery, spicy, ginger snaps to the left.
Here’s the skit with a big assist by Kate McKinnon as Tiny Tim who “gets it”.
I want to bury my face in that tumtum something awful. What crimes against humanity do I have to commit in order to be visited by Jason in a shiny lame cape and tear-away pants, being all extra just for me? I would seriously like to know if I just have to be dick to a little kid and grump about Christmas, or if I have to go full genocidal maniac? Okay, maybe I wouldn’t go quite that far, but my morals are flexible when it comes to Jason Momoa.
During this weekend’s Saturday Night Live, Pete Davidson joked that Texas congressional candidate Dan Crenshaw looks like a hitman in a porno. It didn’t go over well, because Dan lost his eye during an attack in Afghanistan. Dan said at the time that Pete shouldn’t apologize because he’s tired of everybody getting outraged over everything, but that SNL should recognize that war wounds shouldn’t be used for bad jokes. Dan said more about it last night.
Pete Davidson’s Joke About Congressional Candidate Dan Crenshaw Didn’t Go Over Well With Some People
Pete Davidson returned to the Saturday Night Live Weekend Update desk and initially got attention for speaking about his breakup with Ariana Grande, but now he’s making news for what he said before that. Pete’s bit on Weekend Update was primarily about tomorrow’s midterm elections. He cracked a bunch of jokes at the expense of some Republican candidates, as well as Democratic candidate Andrew Cuomo, who he said looks like the type of guy to fuck your mom and then eat breakfast the next morning in his underwear. Texas congressional candidate Dan Crenshaw was one such person who got dragged by Pete, and some people (including Dan himself) are really not happy about it.
This weekend Kanye West answered the age-old question: Who is the dumbest Kardashian? Answer Kanye West, which says everything. Kanye took to the Saturday Night Live stage to perform as musical guest because Ariana Grande had a rough few weeks and had to cancel. Well, her loss was Trump’s gain, as it allowed one of his biggest fans to jack him off at the end of the episode. Kanye also brought the rage by brain-farting up about how the 13th should be thrown into the trash.
this represents good and America becoming whole again. We will no longer outsource to other countries. We build factories here in America and create jobs. We will provide jobs for all who are free from prisons as we abolish the 13th amendment. Message sent with love pic.twitter.com/a15WqI8zgu
— ye (@kanyewest) September 30, 2018
Everyone loved it. JK. Many people were turned off. And a bunch of the people pissed off were celebrities, so that means it matters.
According to Vulture, Kanye’s MAGA hat is his “Superman cape” (which tells me he doesn’t know anything about Superman either because that guy has powers with or without the cape, like the cape is just an outfit) and he must think it will protect him from the ones who did not love his most recent confusing rant.