In a galaxy far, far a gay, I mean away, there was a hero. A young man who faced his darkest fears and changed the fate of the worlds. And maybe kissed on men. If that’s what you want to believe. Mark Hamill, the actor that plays Luke Skywalker – I’m clarifying because there is a shocking number of people that have not seen Star Wars – has said that if people want to think that Luke is gay, then they should raise a rainbow flag, because he is. To them.
Mark spoke to The Sun (via NY Post) and said, “fans are writing and asking all these questions: ‘I’m bullied in school . . . I’m afraid to come out.’ They say to me: ‘Could Luke be gay?’ I’d say it is meant to be interpreted by the viewer. If you think Luke is gay, of course he is. You should not be ashamed of it. Judge Luke by his character, not by who he loves.” Honestly, kudos to him. The character arc for Luke doesn’t hinge on him being gay or not, so it’s not brought up and there was no romantic storyline for him either. This is a pretty classy way of addressing something that clearly means a lot to a lot of people as well as going with the flow of the more diversified world of Star Wars.
Even though boxer Manny Pacquiao shat up a non-apology for saying that gays are “worse than animals,” he continued to double down on his comments by Instagramming Bible scriptures that say gay dudes getting caught doing gay sex should be murdered. While some of us patiently wait to hear the news that Manny P was caught tap-dancing in a men’s public bathroom somewhere, Loki’s human and champion boxer (Um, don’t give me that look, even if he used his wallet to win it, he still won it!) Mickey Rourke gave his thoughts about that shit. TMZ caught the Panty Creamer Hall of Famer outside of The Nice Guy in West Hollywood on Friday night and asked him about Manny P’s words. Mickey shat on Manny P’s comments and pretty much quoted notable philosopher Honey Boo Boo when he said he’s a little gay himself. (Cut to Little Gay from The Soup poking out of Mickey’s gorgeous wig while waving.)
Here’s what Mickey said about Manny’s comments while dressed like an extra fancy gay hair dresser from Wild Wild West times:
“I think they were wrong and out of place and I think that we all got to watch what we say. You know, that was from the Old Testament, he was quoting, so you got to give him a little bit of room. But I got a lot of gay friends. I’m a little bit gay myself.”
And to show he’s a “little gay,” Mickey kissed on another dude in front of the paps.
Manny P is probably not going to respond to Mickey, but I’d like to see him try to snatch the wig cemented onto the hot piece of salmon jerky’s head. It’s impossible. Mickey came prepared by using Gorilla Glue, Super Glue, Krazy Glue, Elmer’s Glue, four different rubber cement brands and chameleon saliva to keep his hot wig from leaving his head.
A high-powered winch, a crane clamp and a hungry eagle couldn’t yank off that wig. Mickey stays winning!
And here’s more of Mickey working that “butch Cinderella’s stepmother” lace front outside of The Nice Guy and at the premiere of Triple 9 with Norman Reedus.
A few years ago when he was on MTV’s Teen Wolf, Colton Haynes’ lawyer tried to scrub the Internet of the pictures of him getting into some twink-on-twink action for the now dead gay magazine XY. Colton Haynes’ team didn’t want the innocent eyes of the children tainted by the images of him doing gay stuff! Well, those days are gone and Colton Haynes may or may not have subtly come out.
On Saturday, Tumblr user pornandmariah (ha) declared how excited they were about discovering Colton Haynes’ secret gay past. Colton read pornandmariah’s post and answered by saying that his gay past was never on the shush:
Colton also tweeted this:
No fear this year. Cheers #2016
— Colton Haynes (@ColtonLHaynes) January 1, 2016
When I read the headlines this past weekend about Colton Haynes of Arrow “coming out,” I expected to see video of him yodeling at the top of his lungs about his undying love for dick while waving a rainbow flag as he rode on a hoverboard down Santa Monica Blvd. I was ready to wish him a Happy New Queer, but his response and tweet are pretty coy. Maybe by “Was it a secret?” he was referring to his gay twink spread in XY? Maybe by “No fear this year” he meant that he’s the new face of No Fear (Is that shit still around?). It’s times like these when I really need a Rosetta Stone emoji edition. Because maybe all of his emojis translate into: “Yay! I love peen!”
And here’s Colton Haynes in Miami on New Year’s Eve Day:
I really didn’t think I was going to start my week with my brain farting up the picture of Vivica Fox sticking her tongue in 50 Cent’s wrinkled coin purse, but here we are.
The talk of 50 Cent’s ass getting itself a face full of Vivica started when she was on Watch What Happens Live last night. Andy Cohen brought up 50 Cent reposting an Instagram post that blamed Empire’s season 2 ratings dip on too much “extra gay stuff.” Anybody who has heard the rumors that 50 Cent loves some dick in his candy shop threw a level 10 side-eye at that move. Well, Vivica, who plays Cookie’s other sister Biscuit (I made that name up) on Empire this season, thought that was a good time to bring out the old rumors that her ex loves peen. Vivica basically said that 50 thinking that Empire is “too gay” is the dick-loving pot calling the dick-loving kettle a dick lover.
A few years ago, MySpace pin-up Tom Hardy said in a magazine interview that he played around with peen when he was in his 20s, but he’s strictly clitly now. Tom later pulled a “no homo” when he said his words were twisted around in that interview and he wants us all to know that a dick has never parted his ass lips and his peen has never been in another man. So in other words, Tom Hardy’s juicy peen-sucking lips have probably been around a peen. Well, during a press conference at the Toronto International Film Festival for his new movie Legend, a reporter for the LGBT site Daily Xtra brought up his sexuality and he wasn’t having it.
Happy Christmas morning to all of the gay gold diggers! This morning, Apple CEO Tim Cook, whose net worth is reportedly $400 million, became every gay gold digger’s dream man when he publicly came out for his love of peen in a thoughtful and important essay for Bloomberg Businessweek. Tim hasn’t exactly been playing mahjong with John Travolta in the back room of the closet. Tim has been openly out to his family, friends and colleagues. If you asked Siri “Is Tim Cook gay?” she’d tell you to check the Apple site, which translates into “Duh, bitch!” Today is the first time he told the world, “iGay!” Tim starts off his coming out essay by saying that he’s tried to keep his private life private, because he wants all of the focus to be on the overpriced products that mysteriously start breaking right before the new version comes out. Tim says that he decided to come out and talk about his personal life, because maybe hearing that the CEO of Apple is gay will help someone who feels alone or inspire others to “insist on their equality.” After the cut are a few pieces of what Tim wrote. You can read the whole thing here.