Last month, we learned that Pete Davidson thinks Emily Ratajkowski is “the girl of his dreams” and wants to introduce her to his mom, Amy Davidson; but let’s just continue to sigh and file our nails despondently. Because let’s face it: Pete runs through famous women quickly, and with the number of them he’s already introduced to Amy, she could probably unseat Kevin Bacon as the new barometer of six degrees. And even though when I think of Pete, two adjectives that pop into my brain are “feeble-looking” and “goofy,” People says that he and Emily are “going strong” and “getting more serious.”
It was just a second ago when Courtney Love was once again shitting all over Dave Grohl over Nirvana royalties and accusing Trent Reznor of abusing underage girls (Courtney later apologized). Well, 56-year-old Courtney Love has now aimed her compact and thrown it at 18-year-old crooner Olivia Rodrigo. After Olivia posted a promo image of her as a crying prom queen, Courtney Love let her know that if the whole “selling tons of albums” shit doesn’t work out for her, she should get a job at FedEx Office since she’s a master at copying.
Florence Pugh has been nominated for an Oscar (for playing the Kirsten Dunst/Samantha Mathis role in last year’s Little Women), she’s getting a Marvel check (for that Black Widow movie, which, at this rate, will come out in 2030), and since she’s a mash-up of Elizabeth Olsen, early days Scarlett Johansson, and a touch of Jennifer Lawrence, she’ll have a long and successful career. But while ScarJo and JLaw avoid Instagram (which is a smart move for JLaw since her page would be a shit show, literally, it’d be 100% fart videos), Florence is on there and shares her personal life with her 1.3 million followers. And Florence is shocked and disgusted to find out that the comment section of Instagram isn’t just filled with Care Bear farts and fairy queefs. Followers barf up hate in there as well, and they did just that over a picture that Florence posted of her man Zach Braff. And Florence decided that reading the comments would be a good idea, and after she did that, she released a video telling everyone that she’s done with the hate. When asked for a response, the lonely “Turn Off Commenting” button on Florence’s Instagram said, “Errr, she could hit at me more and save the dramatics for the movies.”
Because I just love some good ole’ HGTV drama (I am still waiting for a scandal involving that annoying Flip Or Flop couple), here’s a story about how that Fixer Upper couple hates seeing their work on home rental sites more than they hate wood that hasn’t been tastefully distressed. The Waco Tribune says that at least six houses in Waco, TX that Chip and Joanna Gaines renovated on Fixer Upper are available for you to rent nightly on sites like Airbnb and VRBO. Chip and Joanna don’t like that, and it seems like future contracts with homeowners will have a “NO RENTING IT OUT OR ELSE” clause in it. Sorry, tricks, but only Chip and Joanna are allowed to make $$$$ from their show, thankyouverymuch.
Since the Starbucks red cup thing is the most important issue of our time and every presidential candidate should be talking about it at fucking length, frog fart in a pussy wig Donald Trump brought it up during a rally in Springfield, Illinois last night. Jabba the Trump really made the sweet spot of his evangelical supporters tingle by suggesting a Starbucks boycott because they’re not putting stupid snowflakes and stupid snowmen on their cups during the holidays anymore. Meanwhile, Chik-Fil-A has responded to Starbucks’ war on Christmas by putting a holy and beautiful picture of Ben Carson, Jesus and Santa on their coffee cups. (I would probably buy that coffee cup if they did that.)