While saying slavery was a choice and expressing the desire to bone your wife’s sisters might be A-OK in Kanye West’s book, other dudes talking about boning his wife ain’t Kosher at all! In what appears to be an audition to be America’s Next Top Vlogger, Kanye goes off on the guys who talk about having sex or implying they sex with Kim Kardashian. While that could honestly be a Declaration of Independence-length list of names, he particularly called out Nick Cannon, Drake, and Tyson Beckford.
I’d like to personally thank Kim Kardashian for actually doing something right by making it my job to look at shirtless pictures of Tyson Beckford two days in a row. Or maybe I should thank him since he’s the one who technically started the feud? I honestly don’t give a fuck, show me more muscle nipples!
A couple of days ago, Tyson slapped at Kim’s wonky body on Instagram saying her doctor botched her good and how she slapped back at him saying he was gay so she didn’t care; which we all know was coming from a place of anger because Kim needs the gays. …And maybe a visit to Dr. Dubrow for her right leg. Well today is round two, my friends.
It seems like just yesterday the internet was getting mad at Kim Kardashian for being obsessed with how skinny she was and already the internet is mad at her for something else. …Oh yeah! It was just yesterday! Way to keep that exposure rolling, Kim!
The Huffington Post reports (because real news is dead) that Kim started a mild internet beef with Tyson Beckford after he swatted away a pic of her and labeled her body as not his thing because the USDA would never certify it as organic and because she should go on Botched for her botched hip job.
Tyson Beckford has begun another stint with the Chippendales show at the Rio in Las Vegas. Is there a vacation condo payment due? Doesn’t he model and act? Wasn’t he in a Transformers movie? He’s a stripper now? This would be Tyson’s second sexy adventure as a Chippendale. According to Las Vegas Blog, Tyson first donned the bowtie and spandex pants back in 2015. Apparently, he enjoyed it so much that he’s signed on as “the first long-term celebrity guest star in residency.” And, unlike those other posers, Tyson actually drops trou.
The critics agree that Tyson was the one the girls wanted… During his brief stint in 2015, the Las Vegas Sun commented, “Fans of Beckford will not leave the show disappointed, as he not only flexes his buff bod throughout the adult male revue, but also bares his backside in a solo act with a female member of the audience…Beckford fits like a glove in Chippendales.”
Hey, some might think it’s a little beneath Tyson’s celebrity tier to join the Las Vegas thong rodeo, but a check is a check and a hot ass is a hot ass. You do you, Tyson. And don’t be alarmed if I’m ever in Vegas and end up at the Rio wrestling some grandmother out of the way to bask in the presence of your shiny, sculpted, down-on-its-luck celebrity ass.
Check out more pics of Tyson with his fellow Chippendales in the gallery below.
Chile, I am barely in the door and someone shoots Suge Knight at Chris Brown’s VMAs party! It’s like they knew I was making a cameo here at DListed once again! Why the fuck do I have to do all the heavy-lifting all of a sudden? It’s intimidating! Allison, where are you, girl? Michael K. is off in Cancun adding to his collection of dirty dicks (“acid reflux”, my fat Irish ass – you know dirty dicks are bad for your health) and someone shoots a celebrity and misses Chris Brown!
Death Row Records founder (and longtime walking target) Suge Knight was shot multiple times when someone started firing at Fist Brown’s pre-MTV VMAs kiki at 10OAK in West Hollywood early this morning. Besides Suge, three other people were shot and one is reportedly in critical condition. I would point out that, in a less ridiculous world, this post would be about the poor bastard who is at death’s door as opposed to big ole’ bullet cozy Suge. But I don’t want Suge to get out of ICU and hang my ass over a balcony.
Shots rang out in the packed nightclub around 1:30 AM, sending people dropping their drinks and running for the exits. You can watch the kind of upsetting vid via The Daily Mail below. The genius standing on top of the club banquette yelling at people and making himself an easy target AFTER BITCHES WERE SHOOTING EACH OTHER on the premises is reportedly Breezy. Ugh, keep tempting that fate, Chris.