Category: Tony Awards

Neil Patrick Harris Pulled An “I Don’t Know Her” On Rachel Bloom During Last Night’s Tonys

June 11, 2018 / Posted by:

Doogie Howser M.D. sure has come up in the world. Neil Patrick Harris has hosted the Tony Awards a few times, but sadly he’s forgotten all the little people upon whose heads he tap danced on his way to the top. One such head is Crazy-Ex Girlfriend Rachel Bloom’s. Last night, for the second year in a row, Rachel was the backstage host at the Tonys and Neil was watching from home with his spawn and live tweeting.  Neil was either suffering from soap opera amnesia or was super salty to be left out because he went in hard on Rachel with a Mariah worthy “I don’t know her”.

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“Mean Girls” And “SpongeBob SquarePants” Got The Most Tony Nominations 

May 1, 2018 / Posted by:

Somewhere, a snobby theater queen is looking at today’s Tony nominations and fanning themselves with their laminated Angela Lansbury-signed Sweeney Todd Playbill over the tourist trap tragedy of the 2017-2018 Broadway musical season. Every new musical that opened on Broadway was either a jukebox musical, was based on a movie, was based on a fucking cartoon, or was a musical revue. Some of the new musicals included SpongeBob SquarePants, Frozen, Summer: The Donna Summer Musical, and Escape To Margaritaville (which is apparently an escape to HELL). If the title of a new musical causes a tourist to brain fart out a question mark, don’t even bother opening that bitch on Broadway. So I can’t wait for the 2018-2019 season where we’ll see The Avengers Musical: Infinity Songs, CROC of Tunes: The CROCS Musical, The Olive Garden Dinner Theater Presents Guy Fieri Sings Sinatra!, and Why Won’t Satan Just Eat Broadway Already: The Nickelback Musical.

Mean Girls and SpongeBob got the most Tony noms with 12 each. The revivals of Angels in America and Carousel, and The Band’s Visit, which is apparently going to win, got 11 each.

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Kevin Spacey Joked About Not Coming Out 

June 12, 2017 / Posted by:

During an interview with The Hollywood Reporter a few years ago, Kevin Spacey made it sound like he’s never going to officially come out about how his tongue gets the tingles for twink ass. But while hosting the Tonys last night, Kevin made jokes about being a permanent resident of the glass closet. I guess Kevin Spacey farting out gay jokes while dressed in Norma Desmond drag (which looked more like low-budget Walter Mercado drag) at the Tonys is the closest he’ll ever get to waving goodbye at fellow polyester wig master John Travolta as he strolls out of the closet.

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After Everyone In The World Turned The Job Down, Kevin Spacey Has Been Chosen As This Year’s Tonys Host 

April 18, 2017 / Posted by:

Kevin Spacey’s name trended on Twitter today and some thought that he either checked out of the glass closet or checked into the afterworld. It’s neither. The Tony people announced today that on June 11th, Kevin Spacey will take the stage at Radio City Music Hall to host what’s arguably the Gay Super Bowl. I say arguably, because I’m not sure if that title belongs to the Oscars, the RuPaul’s Drag Race season finale or whenever Showgirls comes on premium cable. It’s the latter for me, obviously.

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If The Definition Of A Question Mark Was A Dress, It’d Look Like This

June 13, 2016 / Posted by:

Cate Blanchett was at the Tony Awards in NYC last night, because she’s making her Broadway debut later this year in a show that isn’t Hamilton. (I know, why are other shows even bothering?) Judging by that butchered-up look on Cate Blanchett’s body, I’m guessing that she was also there, because she knew that most thi-turr people play it safe by wearing the most boring dress at Lord & Taylor, so she needed to give the public something that’ll hurt their eyeballs and make their retinas curl. Thank you, Cate!

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“Hamilton” Won All The Tonys Last Night!

June 13, 2016 / Posted by:

Hamilton got a total of 16 Tony nominations, which made it the most nominated Broadway production in the history of everything. Because everyone knew that Hamilton would win the night, I felt like they should’ve just canceled the entire Tony ceremony and instead show live footage of a dump truck unloading thousands of trophies in front of the Richard Rogers Theater, where Hamilton plays. But after the heart-melting hell nightmare in Orlando, some of us needed to be temporarily distracted by jazz hands, sequins, over-the-top speeches from dramatic thi-turr people, Oprah’s glasses and raw yodeling. So thank my God, Bea Arthur, for the Tonys!

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