Tiffany Trump Is “Flipping Out” As Hurricane Nicole Threatens To Derail Her Mar-A-Lago Wedding This Weekend
You never know what you’re going to come home with after you’ve been partying in Mykonos with Lindsay Lohan. But whichever muse inspired Alanis Morrisette to write Ironic must have been going extra hard that fateful night in 2018 when she and Lindsay conspired to send Tiffany Trump home with a Nigerian prince and possibly head lice. Now, four years later, the Ironic muse finally found the keys she lost in the sand at Lindsay’s now-shuttered beach club just in time to send Tiffany some rain on her wedding day.
The walls of the White House should brace themselves for the shrieking sound of a Slovenian-accented voice screaming, “Take me with you!!!!!!” Because if this story is true, Vanessa Trump’s ankles will be grasped by the hands of Melania Trump as Melania begs Vanessa to take her with her as Donald Trump Jr.’s wife walks away from the Trump family FOREVER. Page Six says that Don Jr. and Vanessa’s 12 year marriage is about as broken and busted as Jabba the Trump’s cabinet.
…and it sadly wasn’t just her husband’s (Donald Trump Jr.) suspicious package like normal. As well all know, there isn’t a damn original idea out there these days, which is responsible for every 90s show getting rebooted. Unfortunately, some assholes are also rebooting the early 2000s trend of scaring the shit out of people by dumping baby powder in a Hallmark card and mailing it to someone they don’t like. Vanessa Trump was on the receiving end of that when she opened a suspicious package addressed to her husband at her Manhattan apartment today. Continue reading
The day before Donald Trump and Steve Bannon went from tongue boning each other in the asshole to eating each other alive (and definitely not in a sexy way), the Trump son who isn’t Don Jr. or Barron, decided to remind people that he exists by putting on his tin foil MAGA cap to say that he believes that Ellen DeGeneres is a secret member of an organization that is trying to undermine his dad. (SPOILER ALERT: The organization that is trying to undermine Trump exists in Trump’s head since it’s his own brain.)