26-year-old singer Summer Walker–who just announced that they’re pregnant with their second child–got some heat this weekend at the 2022 BET Awards, and I for one am a bit defensive about it because I love a good hoe-outfit. But we can be hoes without bastardizing other cultures. First, Summer shared a picture of themselves in a silver dangling tits-out, short skirt-outfit that would be acceptable in the strip club, a music video, or a Fast and the Furious set. But the people were not feeling it because it may have referenced some slaves of China? Yikes. Then Summer wore another elegant ensemble (above) and people accused Summer of sexualizing the people of Southwest China by appropriating the traditional Hmong jewelry.
Obviously, when someone like Usher is accused of something so heinous as disrespecting a Las Vegas stripper he needs to respond. Not only is he doing a residency in the City of Sin and absolutely should not piss off the stripper community, but as a celebrity, being on the outs with strippers is like a Real Housewife being on the outs with plastic surgeons in her area. Social. Suicide. TMZ says Usher has defended his good name and said he absolutely did not pay strippers in fake “Ush-bucks.” He paid them real money as well as “Ush-bucks.” Glad that’s cleared up.
Everything I know about strippers I learned from The Sopranos, Hustlers, and the seminal Lindsay Lohan classic, I Know Who Killed Me. My knowledge is this: stripping is hard work, men are disgusting, and it’s all about the tips. So this past weekend, when Usher showered dancers with fake bills with his face on them. It was not a move that was well-received. Continue reading
It’s been quite some time since it was announced that the viral story of Zola, a stripper who went on a wild weekend road trip, was going to be made into a movie. Zola’s story is one for the ages. When we all die from nuclear war, Zola’s story will be all that’s left; whispered across the dunes of radiated sand, carried by the poisonous fallout winds. Collider is reporting that the movie is still moving forward and has cast some of its stars.
Jon and Kate Gosselin are like the roaches you see scattering around the kitchen that come out to taunt you with their existence every now and again. These mu’fuckas just refuse to call the time of death on their “celebrity,” because Kate is still pimping the kids out on TLC and Jon is now a stripper.
Yes, I know, you need a moment to go grab the lotion of your choice because the mental image of his pasty, busted biscuit can shaped body gyrating for the masses is setting your loins to BROIL. Well, unfortunately for all of us, Jon is more of a cock tease than the girl in high school who only gives out hand jobs.
TMZ says that a Houston-area stripper named Jhonni Blaze (who may or may not be Ghost Rider’s long-lost stripper sister) is claiming that Wheelchair Jimmy’s people have been harassing and threatening her ever since she decided to grind up on his emergency brake one night. Jhonni says that after she had sex with Drake, he was afraid she was going to talk about it (“it” probably being the butt sandwich he made for her), so he started “angrily” texting her. Eventually it got worse than receiving Emoji-filled messsages asking her to STFU; Jhonni claims he also sent his muscle to her house in an attempt to coerce her into keeping her stripper mouth shut, and threatened her life.
That’s when Jhonni went to the police. TMZ says the Houston PD has confirmed they opened an investigation, but that they can only reveal it involves a “possible celebrity”. Um, excuse you Houston PD, but that’s a member of the Canadian Royal Family you’re dealing with! Show some respect!
Jhonni went to the cops to complain, but she’s not sure she wants to press charges. Regardless, the Houston PD would like to speak to the “celebrity” in question, probably to tell him to cool it with the Toronto Tony Soprano shit. And, of course, a source close to Drake says none of this shit ever happened.
Obviously in a case of Stripper vs. Famous Rapper, it’s going to be a tough call. But before I make any solid decision, I need to see some proof that Wheelchair Jimmy was railroading that stripper. Show me the receipts! I wanna see those texts! There’s no way that a gentle sensitive soul like Drake was sending anything but polite Canadian texts to that stripper after they fucked. “Excuse me? I’m so sorry, but may I request that you not kiss and tell? Thank you!” And I want to see pictures of the no-goodniks that came to her house. Did they look like this? Did one of them answer to “Spinner”?
And there’s only one way to find out if she even slept with Drake: what color were his bedsheets, Jhonni? Navy or green? TRICK QUESTION! Everyone knows Drake sleeps in a fleece Raptors Snuggie on a pile of golden retriever puppies!