Jon Gosselin Is Now A Stripper

Back when J. Harvey was a tyke and had to get a job behind the grill at Mickey D’s, his loving parents responded to his whining with an important life lesson – “there’s nobility to be found in any job, as long as you work hard and do your best.” They were wrong, of course. I was unable to keep up with the demand for Big Macs one Saturday, in addition to burning a co-worker with a white-hot fry basket while fielding an accusation from a harridan manageress that my McNuggets “weren’t fresh.” Nobility was in short shrift that day.

However, someone should console Ed Hardy’s most fallen angel, Unalamer Jon Gosselin, with my parents’ faulty wisdom. He’s gone from waiter to male stripper. His aging, Affliction tee-encased body might need some consoling hugs.

TMZ has revealed that Atlantic City’s Dusk nightclub is advertising Jon’s dropping of trou in an upcoming revue.

Management at Dusk Nightclub tells us … the former reality TV star got involved through friends who are running the show — called “Untamed Male Revue.”

We’re told it’s burlesque-style, a la “Magic Mike” and “Thunder From Down Under.” It’s not a “hump your face” kind of thing.

Jon will be stripping down to his undies … sorry ladies.

I’m sure the one sad chick who’s going to this show for the express purpose of seeing Jon Gosselin take it off will live. Actually, spank my tongue for implying that Jon won’t look shredded, because he’s been “rehearsing for a few weeks, even working out.” Thanks for bothering to work out, Jon. Even if he’s not ripped to gym bunny standards, a mere glimpse of Jon’s FUPA is like a peek into Heaven’s foyer.

Jon’s debut is on April 1st. This makes me believe that a certain formerly hacked-haired, child-spewing reality television banshee Kate Gosselin is actually playing an elaborate April Fools joke on us while simultaneously humiliating her hated ex-husband. Looking at that flyer, it’s obvious she got TLC to spring for Photoshop for the kids.

Pic: TMZ