Katy Perry And Robert Pattinson Sat Next To Each Other, What Could It Mean?!?

On Saturday night, Katy Perry and Robert Pattinson were seen having dinner at the Sunset Towers Hotel. Katy Perry is reportedly single. Robert Pattinson is reportedly “kind of ” engaged to FKA Twigs. That’s fine, who doesn’t eat dinner with people they’re not (abstractly) attached to? But they were photographed sitting closely beside each other. Okay, well that’s fine. There’s no law against sitting next to someone you aren’t in a relationship with! Although something tells me the following picture and accompanying shamefully punny caption won’t do much to kill any suspicions.

Continue reading

Robert Pattinson Now Says That He Wasn’t Asked To Give A Dog A Handie

That suit makes him look like he gave someone a handie. Robert Pattinson says that he was kidding when he told Jimmy Kimmel that he refused to jerk off a pooch on the set of Good Time. Well, that’s good to know. Because, unless you’re an animal breeder or a veterinarian, you should let the dogs ruin their own eyesight, if you get what I’m sayin’. (Do dogs do that? Someone risk an alarming browser history and look it up.) I’m not sure what kind of dark web bullshit your movie is when you’re asking the actors to jerk off dogs, but it sure doesn’t sound like the sort of movie you’re going to see Meryl Streep in.

Continue reading

Robert Pattinson Refused To Jack A Dog Off For A Movie

The filming for Robert Pattinson’s movie seems a little, well, icky. As Edward Cullen, he wasn’t that into werewolves, and, as an actor, he ain’t that into pup play, either. Page Six reports Robert was on Jimmy Kimmel Live last night promoting his new flick Good Time, and it sounds like he didn’t have that much of one when his director tried to get him to wank off a pooch. I get character acting, but dog diddling has me channeling Phaedra Parks saying, “Something in the buttermilk ain’t clean!” Um, say wha?

Continue reading

Robert Pattinson Says He’s “Kind Of” Engaged To FKA Twigs

I am not kidding when I say I just looked out my window to check and see if any large, scary gray clouds filled the sky. I got this nervous feeling that the remaining Twihards (their numbers may be small, but their obsession is strong) might collectively react to this news by mentally manifesting an angry storm. Thankfully they might be kept busy trying to decode Robert Pattinson’s purposefully cryptic message.

Continue reading

Robert Pattinson Knows He’ll Always Be Edward From “Twilight”

Both Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart are serious actors now, and in an alternate universe they could probably pay someone to wipe the memory of the Twilight films from everyone’s brains. But here in this universe we will always remember that garbage, so their only option is to acknowledge and embrace how corny it was.

Continue reading

Panty Creamer Of The Day: Charlie Hunnam In A Suit

After a day of posts about Lyme disease fakers, Suge Knight shit, Shia LaBeouf going nuts again and the death of Don Rickles, what we all need is a dose Charlie Hunnam in a suit. I won’t even ruin this moment by copy and pasting a new quote he dribbled out about ignoring his girlfriend for months for the sake of his art. Not today.

Charlie, seen above working a Parasite Hilton wonk eye, put on his best movie star drag for last night’s Hollywood premiere of The Lost City of Z. Charlie has a true Hollywood glow about him and I’m talking about that damn thick bronzer. Charlie’s makeup artist must’ve set the bronzer gun to “Real Housewife At A Reunion Show” and went wild. Trick looks like he’s been making out and rubbing his face against Mr. Jay from America’s Next Top Model, and yes I want pictures.

Charlie is also the opposite of Stephanie “Excuse My Beauty” Yellowhair, because while she likes tans on her legs, not face, he likes tans on his face, not the rest of his body. Charlie is new-ish to this movie star thing, so I’ll forgive him for not matching his hands to his face.

And here’s more pictures from last night’s premiere including Robert Pattinson (working hair that I’m guessing was cut by a hyperactive toddler with safety scissors), Sienna Miller (who wore a dress made of crib skirts) and a skinny Brad Pitt who was dressed like a grandpa going to an off track betting place.

Pics: Wenn.com