Robert Pattinson Now Says That He Wasn’t Asked To Give A Dog A Handie

August 5, 2017 / Posted by:

That suit makes him look like he gave someone a handie. Robert Pattinson says that he was kidding when he told Jimmy Kimmel that he refused to jerk off a pooch on the set of Good Time. Well, that’s good to know. Because, unless you’re an animal breeder or a veterinarian, you should let the dogs ruin their own eyesight, if you get what I’m sayin’. (Do dogs do that? Someone risk an alarming browser history and look it up.) I’m not sure what kind of dark web bullshit your movie is when you’re asking the actors to jerk off dogs, but it sure doesn’t sound like the sort of movie you’re going to see Meryl Streep in.

When the former sparklepire’s story went viral and he was celebrated by PETA, Robert realized he had gone too far. He’s released a statement saying it was all just funning around. It’s a relief to know that Robert DIDN’T act in the sort of movie where a portion of the cast is probably human trafficking victims. Robert says:

“The story I told on Jimmy Kimmel last night seems to have spiraled out of control. What didn’t come across is that this was supposed to be a joke. No one at all expected or assumed that anything like that would happen on the Good Time set.”

Robert went on to say that everyone involved with Good Time is a “huge animal lover” (Hence the handie? I kid!), and would never do anything to harm an animal. He also admitted he was embarrassed due to his efforts to make dumb ole’ Jimmy Kimmel laugh. (I haven’t trusted Jimbo since he lost the weight.)

“I feel embarrassed that in the moment, I was trying to make Jimmy laugh, only to create confusion and a false impression.”

Robert explained the dog molestation by saying that his character in Good Time has “this affinity with dogs.” Ya think?

“There was initially this scene — I don’t think I should say this — but it’s like, my character, Connie, has this affinity with dogs. He thinks he is a dog in a previous life and he thinks he has control over animals and stuff.”

I’m glad this was a joke. Some acting challenges don’t need to be taken on. Being asked to molest a canine would be one of them. I think the line should be drawn after Divine ate dog shit in Pink Flamingos. Or maybe after Chloe Sevigny blew Vincent Gallo for real in Brown Bunny. Let’s stop right there or go screaming back to Twilight land.


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