Lamar Odom Found Unconscious At A Brothel In Nevada

TMZ says that former NBA player (and Khloe Kardashian’s ex-husband) Lamar Odom is in a bad, bad way after he was found unconscious on the floor of the Love Ranch South in Pahrump, NV. Lamar had some mucus-type liquid coming out of his mouth and nose and when he got to the hospital, doctors had to intubate him, because he wasn’t breathing on his own. He’s being airlifted to a hospital in Las Vegas.

Dennis Hof, who owns the Love Ranch and who you know if you watched HBO’s Cathouse, says that Lamar checked in on Saturday by himself. Lamar spent the past few days partying it up with the hookers of the Love Ranch. A source tells E! News  that Lamar took herbal Viagra while there. Lamar was found in his VIP suite this afternoon. (Hmmmm, I wonder if that source’s name rhymes with, oh bother, it was probably Pimp Mama Kris.)

Before Lamar and Khloe broke up, he went missing for days and went on a bad shit binge. Lamar recently went off while talking to TMZ about how he supposedly “ambushed” and scared Khloe outside of a SoulCycle. Lamar said that Khloe agreed to meet him. He also talked about how his life has hit rock bottom.

E!’s source also says that Lamar’s condition is not looking good at all. A source tells People that Khloe and Kim Kartrashian (and a kamera krew, probably) are planning to fly to Vegas tonight to be with him.

Lam Lam Slams TMZ After They Say He “Harassed” Khlozilla

Yesterday, TMZ posted a grainy picture of Khloe Kartrashian looking like she’s making a phone call while her soon-to-be ex-husband Lamar Odom approaches her on the street at 6:45 in the morning. Witnesses told TMZ that Khloe was on her way to a class at SoulCycle when Lam Lam “ambushed” her on the street and screamed at her before grabbing her arm. A witness threatened to call the cops, which made Lamar blurt out, “You’re not going to call the cops on Lamar Odom.” Khloe asked him how he knew she was going to be there before getting into her car and driving away. That was TMZ’s version, but Lamar says it didn’t happen like that and he also shat on the House of Harvey Levin for being biased against black celebrities.

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Khlozilla Will Soon Be Free To Marry Her Next Storyline

It’s been over two years since Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom’s marriage died in a crack pipe and she kicked him out of the house. Since then, Khlozilla has moved on by making herself the Princess Fiona to French Montana’s Shrek and she moved on from him by scooting her sascrotch against the body of bearded NBA player James Harden. Meanwhile, Lamar got dropped by the Clippers and the New York Knicks, was caught driving while fucked up and he lost 2 of his friends to a drug overdose. Lamar was in, and might still be, in a bad place and that’s saying a whole lot since he was in the Kartrashian family. That’s the worst place of all. But well, soon he’ll be Khloe’s ex-husband. Officially.

UsWeekly says that earlier this month, Khlozilla and Lamar finally signed the divorce papers that she filed in December 2013. A judge just has to sign off on it and their marriage will be done. Some source said that Lamar finally signed, because it hurt his heart area seeing her with a bunch of dudes.

“Lamar was really hurt and felt like Khloe had no respect for him after she was out in public with James Harden. He just kept seeing her with different guys and that was it for him. French was at least a relationship but here she was with another guy. He finally came to his senses and told her he wanted out and signed the papers. He confronted her about James and she went to Vegas to see him while she was out there with James and they got it done. He just wanted out.”

Sense: that makes none. I think what really happened was that Pimp Mama Kris dropped a stack of signing cash in his lap, because she needs Khlozilla to be free to marry the next man those trash heap vampires will suck the life out of. And now that Lamar is out of there, that leaves Kanye West as the sole, standing Kartrashian husband. Will they find a way to suck the life out of Kanye too or will he slowly destroy them with an 8,000 word rant about how it is so déklassé of them to wear that Balmain military jacket with that Lanvin leather dress?

And here’s Khlozilla and PMK filming their shit show today:

Pics: Splash

Ruh-Roh: Lamar Odom Says Some Alex Forrest-y Stuff About Khloe Kardashian

It’s never a good sign when someone says something about their ex and my first instinct is to calmly walk to the pantry and open up a box of Molly…You In Danger, Girl (that should be a Girl Scout cookie) and email the contact information of a local locksmith to said ex with the subject line: “I dunno, probably not a big deal, but maybe time to change the locks, yes?”. But thanks to Us Weekly’s recent interview with Lamar Odom, the matter of my concern is the safety and well-being of a Kardashian. I know, never would I have thought. Up is down. Black is white. Big-assed trolls are intelligent and useful.

In an exclusive interview with Us Weekly after a Feb. 21 press conference for his new team, Baskonia (a.k.a. Laboral Kutxa), the basketball player said [Khloe] Kardashian would “always” be his wife, even if they divorce — which he’s hoping doesn’t happen.

“I love my wife. She’ll always be my wife, no matter what,” Odom, who filed for divorce in December after four years of marriage. “Who knows? We don’t know exactly if [the divorce is going through]. Only time will tell. I hope not. But even if we were divorced, she would always be my wife.”

I think maybe he thought he was being romantic, but “Always be my wife” is the sort of thing a murderer says in a movie while holding a knife above his sleeping victim. Can Us Weekly tell us more about the room in which this interview was conducted? Was the word FOREVER written on the wall in self tanner above a picture of Khloe? Like, I’m not saying she needs to pack up and move into witness protection (HA! Like a Kardashian would ever), but I am saying that it sounds like Lamar is one crackpipe smoked to a sad love song away from surprising his ex-wife with Rob in a pot of boiling water on the stove. He won’t be dead, of course – it’s scientifically impossible for boiling water to heat through that many layers of useless- but still, nobody wants to come home and find The Sock One hanging out in their kitchen.

Pimp Mama Kris Might’ve Already Found Lamar Odom’s Replacement

Since the Kardashians have pretty much boned their way through the NBA and NFL, they’re zeroing their pussies in on the MLB now. Khloe Kartrashian filed for divorce from Lamar Odom today, but Radar says that she’s been getting over him for weeks by getting on Matt Kemp (seen above in a picture that looks like an ad for Dulcolax) of the Dodgers. Matt Kemp was RiRi’s on-and-off piece for a minute and now he’s supposedly screaming for animal control every time Khloe bites his neck a little too rough during fuck times.

Radar says that Matt Kemp has been a Kardashian family friend for a while and recently he and Khlozilla have been spending a lot of time together. Matt was at Pimp Mama Kris’ Satanic den of whores last night and for the past few weeks he and Khloe have been seen at several concerts together.

This is probably all made up and another one of Pimp Mama Kris’ schemes to make Lamar think that Khloe is sucking the life out of a new one. But if it is true, then Matt Kemp’s entire family needs to get their crucifixes, pitchfork and torches and go to Pimp Mama Kris’ lair to save him! Because if they don’t, it won’t be long before he deals with the pain of being in the Kartrashian family by eating his emotions with a large tub of horsey sauce (see: Rob) or by blowing crack smoke into a hooker’s snatch (see: Lamar) or by fucking up his entire face (see: Bruce). Scott Disick’s fine because he had no soul to begin.

And a “source” tells E! News that Lamar feels sad inside about Khlozille divorcing his ass:

“He’s deeply saddened by Khloé filing for divorce. He knew it was coming and it was only a matter of time. He felt like he gave his all to try and save the marriage, but ultimately he wasn’t able to. There will always be a place in his heart for Khloé. He will always love her and her family. She has decided and there is nothing more he can do. He has to accept that.”

It’s funny how the “source” got all of that out of Lamar’s real statement which was probably, “YES! YES! YES! I’M FINALLY FREE OF PIMP MAMA KRIS!“

Khloe Kardashian Is Planning On Dropping Divorce Papers On Lamar Odom Today (UPDATE)

TMZ is reporting that Khloe Kardashian will file for divorce from Lamar Odom today after a hot ass mess of a marriage that lasted about 4 years longer than anybody would have guessed. With no kids and a Kanye-disapproved iron-clad prenup, Khloe shouldn’t have any problem dissolving her (un)holy union with Lamar, leaving him free to fuck bitches, get money and Vine his freestyle raps under the name DJ Crackie Trax.

I admit to not knowing much about the backup Kardashians, so I looked up Khloe’s Wiki page to see what kind of skills she can fall back on once she heals her broken heart with whatever blown in insulation Kim is using to keep her face from cracking and falling off in pieces. The choices are: being an American socialite, television personality, businesswoman, fashion designer, author, actress and presenter. I totally read “presenter” as “pretender” and I think that’s my vote since it comes off as a nice way to say “fake ass bitch” and given her gene pool, she’ll need minimal training.

It’s sad these two crazy kids couldn’t make it work. This had all the makings of a tragic love story for the ages. Crackhead meets Yeti. Yeti meets crackhead. They fall in love with the attention being together brings. Crackhead marries Yeti after a month. Yeti-in-law calls the paps, tabloid story, tabloid story, marriage counseling, tabloid story. Crackhead spirals out of control. Yeti decides to jump ship from the USS Stunt Queen and quit a bitch. Fin. At least Khloe won’t have to look at that face any more!

UPDATE from Michael: Khlozilla officially stuffed divorce papers in Lam Lam’s crack pipe and told him to smoke that shit. People says that as expected, Khloe filed papers today in L.A. and blamed “irreconcilable differences” as the reason why their marriage ate shit. Khloe doesn’t want any spousal support from Lam Lam and doesn’t think he should get any from her. And now that that’s done, let the public dragging of Lam Lam by Pimp Mama Kris really begin.

(Pic: Wenn)