Category: James Woods
Amber Tamblyn Isn’t Done With James Woods
There used to be a real Crankasaurus Rex on my floor in college who spent his Fridays pregaming with scotch and Fox News and basically screaming about how the country was going to shit because the rest of us were drinking cheap beer and sleeping around and, well, I kind of forget the rest because, well, cheap beer. It was always him face planted outside the dining hall at 3AM because he was too drunk to make it into the chicken finger line, and I’m pretty sure that just about sums up how James Woods works.
James showed he was a Hungry, Hungry Hypocrite the other day for getting all high and mighty about how the love fest between a 24-year-old and a 17-year-old in Call Me By Your Name is icky because he claimed it promoted pedophilia. Armie Hammer, who stars in the movie, pointed out James was 64 when he was porking a teenager, and all of gay Twitter did a giant snap in Z formation at the shade of it all. Because these things always snowball, Joan of Arcadia Amber Tamblyn came out of the woodwork to show God is always watching, especially when James tried to pick her up and take her to Vegas when she was sixteen. James has since denied that shit happened, but Amber is back to show not only is God always watching, he’s keeping a logbook, too. Amber screenshot a text exchange with a friend who backed her side of things, and she also warned James that she’s not putting down her shank anytime soon and went in on him in an open letter. Continue reading
James Woods Got Served On Twitter By Armie Hammer and Amber Tamblyn
Angry hemorrhoid James Woods loves Twitter more than anything. Yesterday James #tooktotwitter to share his outrage about the upcoming movie Call Me By Your Name starring Armie Hammer. It’s about a love affair set in Italy in the 1980’s between a 24-year-old and a 17-year-old (per Entertainment Tonight, the age of consent there is 14).
Now, you’d think that James would be On. Board. given his well documented career as a geriatric connoisseur of very young women, but for some reason this particular story set him off. What could it be that has him all up in his feelings? Oh, it’s about two men? I see.
James Woods Settles Suit Against Dead Man
Everybody’s least favorite uncle, James Woods, has recently settled a lawsuit he brought against a Twitter user for calling him a “cocaine addict”. Two years ago, James slapped a 10 million dollar defamation complaint against an anonymous Tweeter (Twitter-er? Tweetster?) who went by the name of Abe List. The defendant has since died and the details of the settlement were not made public.
Actual Butt Plug James Woods Made A Butt Plug Joke About Anderson Cooper
I don’t know about your gays, but me and mine already have several summer theme parties planned around celebrating Anderson Cooper’s historic, Kellyanne Conway-inspired eye roll. It was the eye roll felt ’round the world issued by one of our shiniest stars (it’s the hair). Well, not everyone thought Anderson’s eye roll was the proper response to White House Hagatha’s delusional bullshit. Enter conservative actor, James Woods.
James Woods Has Thrown A $10 Million Lawsuit At A Twitter Troll For Calling Him A “Cocaine Addict”
Lover of youngins’ James Woods (I linked to the proof, James Woods’ lawyer!) filed a defamation lawsuit against an anonymous Twitter user who accused him of regularly inhaling the bad shit with his nostrils. James Woods filed the $10 million lawsuit in L.A. Superior Court yesterday. While he was in the mood to file stuff, he also should’ve made his way to the police department and filed a missing eyebrows report. (The proof is in that picture, James Woods’ lawyer!)
The Hollywood Reporter says that while most celebrities let out a “meh” when someone on Twitter trashes them, James is taking that shit to court. On July 15th, a Twitter user who went by the name “Abe List” (their account has since been deleted) said, “cocaine addict James Woods still sniffing and spouting,” in response to a tweet James twatted out about how USA Today focused on Caitlyn Jenner’s ESPYs dress instead of the Planned Parenthood “baby parts” video. James’ lawsuit says that Abe List started fucking with him back in December 2014. When James shat up a birther-related tweet about President Obama, Abe List called him a “ridiculous clown boy” and “a joke.”
James Woods’ says that calling him a “cocaine addict” was way over the line (so many “I’m surprised he didn’t snort up that line” jokes, so little time) and he’s not going to take it. James denies being a coke head. If James simply blocked Abe List and kept it moving, only a few thousand people would have seen the words “James Woods” and “cocaine addict” in one sentence, but now millions have thanks to the lawsuit being reported by everyone. But that doesn’t matter, because James is trying to prove a point!
“AL’s reckless and malicious behavior, through the worldwide reach of the internet, has now jeopardized Woods’ good name and reputation on an international scale,” states the complaint. “AL, and anyone else using social media to propagate lies and do harm, should take note. They are not impervious to the law.”
THR says that James Woods’ lawyer will have to prove that the tweet was made maliciously and they’ll also have to subpoena Twitter to find out the identity of the person behind “Abe List.” Everybody better try to look shocked when Abe List turns out to be the legendary SEAN YOUNG!
James Woods’ 20-Year-Old Piece Got Busted With The Good Shit
James Woods has one rule when choosing a piece to date: if you’re older than the oldest liver spot on the head of his peen, then he’s not trying to mess with you. So that’s why James’ latest fetus-aged girlfriend probably slurs out a “HUH?!” when he quotes his Casino character. 66-year-old James Woods publicly debuted his newest leased toy Kristen Bauguess at the NYC premiere of White House Down on Tuesday night. Kristen kind of looks like The Curious Case of Ali Lohan right before a bleached demon (otherwise known as White Oprah) sucked her youth out, spit into a martini glass, added some vodka and swallowed it all down (a succubustini!).
Radar says that Kristen only recently started taking a ride on James’ Viagra rod, but they have already been tweeting “I love yous” to each other. James and Kristen were probably dating when she got caught with marijuana and some “controlled substance” in Georgia earlier this month. Kristen was pulled over for speeding in Chatham County on June 8th and the police found weed and a “controlled substance” on her. Kristen was charged with possession, speeding and switching the license plate on her car.
I totally believe that marijuana should be legal everywhere and arresting someone for it is a waste of everyone’s time, but laws are laws even if the law is stupid. Whenever I get a Double Double from In-N-Out, I always want to rip my clothes off and express my love for it bareback-style right there in the middle of the restaurant, but I know I’ll be arrested if I do so I wait until I get into my car. I know the laws! With that said, Chatham County should really give Kristen a break. They shouldn’t punish Kristen, they should reward her. If you were pulling James Woods’ 30-year-old white pubic hairs out of your mouth after licking his shriveled lychee balls, you’d be injecting a mixture of heroin and crack directly into your nipple slits. So Kristen is doing well considering and they should give her ass a break. The gold digging game isn’t an easy one.
Pics: Wenn.com