Category: Halyna Hutchins
Hilaria Baldwin Can’t Promise To Stop Having Babies Unless Alec Baldwin Gets Snipped
With Nick Cannon safely in the hospital for the moment and Elon Musk otherwise occupied with preserving freedom of speech for all whitemankind, the erratic market for looming babies’ futures is at an all-time low. Or it was until Baldwin Babies Inc. CEO Hilaria Baldwin appeared on Extra to announce their 4th quarter projections, hinting at the possibility of one or more looming baby offerings in the new year. As we know, Baldwin Babies Inc. has been under SIEGE this year after CIO (Chief Insemination Officer) Alec Baldwin was involved in the accidental shooting death of cinematographer Halnya Hutchins while moonlighting as a producer/actor on the film Rust. CEO Hilaria noted in her announcement that while the BBI is “not ok,” and “can’t be ok” following the tragedy, Alec has yet to “do his part,” (*SNIP SNIP* see above) to thwart BBI’s prospects for a bountiful 2023.
Production Will Resume On “Rust” After Alec Baldwin And The Producers Have Reached A Settlement Agreement With Halyna Hutchins’ Family
A week has come and gone and still no word from the Santa Fe District Attorney’s office as to whether or not they will be filing criminal charges against anybody for the on-set shooting death of cinematographer Halyna Hutchins on the set of Rust. Similarly, Alec Baldwin and his wife have gone an entire week without having another baby, so one might assume that no progress at all has been made on either getting justice for Halyna’s death or in the creation of a new Baldwinito to help keep us focused on the importance of living in one’s truth. But that’s not the case. Deadline reports that Halyna’s husband Matthew Hutchins has reached a settlement agreement with Alec and other Rust producers in the wrongful death suit he filed against them back in February. Surprisingly, the settlement would give Matthew a producing credit on Rust, and production is set to resume in January with “all the original principal players,” including director Alec and the man he also shot, director Joel Souza.
Alec Baldwin May Be One Of Four Defendants The Santa Fe District Attorney Plans To Criminally Prosecute In The “Rust” Shooting Death Of Halyna Hutchins
How long does the euphoria of having a newborn baby last? Being childless myself I’m gonna have to guess at least a good three/four months unless you’re Hilaria Baldwin, in which case, what, two days? Three at the most. Either way, Alec Baldwin is screwed because less than two days after announcing the birth of his eighth child, here comes the law threatening to harsh his vibe in a major way. The New York Post reports that the Santa Fe Sheriff’s Office is about to release their investigation into the shooting death of Halyna Hutchins on the set of Rust and the Santa Fe District Attorney has filed an emergency request for funds “to prosecute up to four people in connection with the incident,” and “one of the possible defendants is well known movie actor Alec Baldwin.” He’s, how do you say… “fucked?” Because given the circumstances of the past year, he can hardly use the excuse that he was shooting blanks.
The FBI Says That The Gun In The “Rust” Shooting Could Not Have Gone Off By Itself And The Trigger Was Pulled
Well, the FBI should prepare for several voicemails from an extra ragey-voiced Alec Baldwin where he reams them a new one as Hilaria Baldwin spews out several Spanish curse words in the background (while reading off of a list of Spanish curse words she Googled just seconds before). Because according to ABC News, the FBI’s investigation into the Rust shooting has wrapped up and they’ve concluded that the gun that killed cinematographer Halyna Hutchins, and injured director Joel Souza, did not go off by itself and the trigger was pulled. This is despite Alec Baldwin claiming that he never ever pulled the trigger.
Authorities Just Need To Review Alec Baldwin’s Phone Records Before Wrapping Up Their Investigation And Handing It Over To The DA
Alec Baldwin may have forgotten he shot and killed someone ten months ago, but the Santa Fe County Sheriff’s department has not. As they attempt to wrap up their investigation into the on-set shooting death of Rust cinematographer Halyna Hutchins, Alec, who was holding the gun when he/it fired a bullet that killed Halyna and injured the film’s director Joel Souza, is still on top of their most wanted list. The only most wanted list Alec is likely to find himself on outside of wife Hilaria Baldwin’s list of dream baby daddies which alarmingly is just Alec’s name a bunch of times into infinity. Deadline reports that “the police investigation into what happened remains ongoing but is a bit closer to completion,” and one of the last pieces of evidence needed before handing the case off to the Santa Fe District Attorney for possible charges, is Alec’s phone records which he very reluctantly handed over to the Suffix County, New York police in January.
Alec Baldwin’s “Rust” Producing Partner Says They Still Want To Complete The Movie
You’ve seen the interview. You’ve seen the computer-generated reenactments. You’ve seen the police body cam footage. Now, from the crack team that brought you Impromptu Roadside Press Conference co-starring Hilaria Baldwin and Oof That Hurts featuring a $136,000 fine from the New Mexico Environment Department’s Occupational Health and Safety Bureau for safety violations, Alec Baldwin and his producing partner Anjul Nigam are excited to announce — Rust: The Movie.