Category: Girls

Millie Bobby Brown Shared A Message About Being Sexualized Online For Her 16th Birthday

February 19, 2020 / Posted by:

Stranger Things star Millie Bobby Brown turned 16 today. To commemorate the occasion, she posted a video on her Instagram highlighting some of the salacious news stories she’s generated over the last few years. The video came with a lengthy caption expressing her frustration at being on the receiving end of “inappropriate comments, sexualization, and unnecessary insults.” Sadly, I think most girls can relate, but being in the public eye has opened Millie up to more intense scrutiny than most. I’m sure her DMs are filled with horrors that would make even her BAF (best adult friend) Drake blush. And that dude is shameless!

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Lena Dunham Was Injured By Her Flip-Flop

July 17, 2016 / Posted by:

You probably already saw this story as a breaking news bulletin on CNN, but this highly important post is just in case you didn’t. Lena Dunham tripped over her flip-flop and ended up in the hospital. Fate obviously found her campaign to stop gun violence by defacing movie posters in NYC subway stations as ridiculous and ineffectual as the rest of us and wanted to punish her.

The Oberlin College sub-standard sushi activism supporter posted this pic on her Instagram (via Refinery 29).

But seriously I tripped over my flip-flop. Thank you to the amazing team at Lenox Hill who x-rayed me, determined it was just a stupid sprain and sent me back to work, intact but for my pride

I’m glad she’s ok because Girls needs a final season. I hate-watch that show and I need to find out if that fruit basket Hannah Horvath left outside of Adam and Jessa’s door had a pipebomb in it. However, there are some questions. Why the need for the angry/sultry Instagram photoshoot? Would we not have known she was in the hospital without the presence of the stethoscope and johnny? Are those high heels she’s wearing? Did she put those on as a joke considering her injury? Or out of spite? Is this a statement? Is it cultural appropriation to wear high heels on a gurney?

Check out some pics of Lena and Kylo Ren (Adam Driver) filming Girls in Brooklyn. Are those the evil flip-flops that hurt her?

Pics: Splash

Brian Williams Saw His Daughter’s Salad Tossing Scene In Girls

January 12, 2015 / Posted by:

During the season premiere of Sex and the City’s hipster snowflake cousin Girls last night, a dude’s mouth traveled to Peter Pan’s No No Land and we got to watch it. How lucky for all of us. It’s just salad tossing, so I wasn’t shocked or scandalized, but I was shocked that it wasn’t Lena Dunham getting her ass eaten while eating a burrito bowl over the sink.

At the premiere party for Girls, Allison Williams talked to Vulture about the scene where her character and Desi get into some butt fun in the kitchen. Allison says that they used Spanx, two thongs and period pads to protect her butt parts from Desi’s mouth and nose. Allison’s dad Brian Williams was also at the premiere party and he watched the scene with his daughter. “Aw, that reminds me of the first time Kimmy and I watched the dailies of her first sex tape together” said Pimp Mama Kris. Brian told Vulture that the scene didn’t make him cringe on the inside at all, because he knows that fake butt munching is all part of show business and watching Allison in Girls is his family’s job.

“She’s always been an actress. For us, watching her is the family occupation and everybody has to remember it’s acting, no animals were harmed during the filming, and ideally nobody gets hurt.”

Brian wasn’t bothered, but Allison’s cast mate Jemima Kirke was. Jemima told UsWeekly that she almost barfed up her insides from watching Brian Williams watch his daughter get motorboated in the ass:

“I sat behind Allison and her dad and I was going to puke. I was so nervous. I don’t even know him, but can you imagine? Watching a kissing scene with my dad next to me is awful, let alone with you getting — whatever that’s called — motorboated in your ass!”

If you watched that scene last night and wondered if Brian Williams watched it, you now have your answer. Fatherly pride filled Brian Williams’ heart as he watched his daughter get her butt filled with a dude’s face.

Gawker has the clip if you haven’t seen it and want to. There’s a GIF of it after the cut. Allison Williams’ nalgas should get a special Emmy for shaking like that and the dude who plays Desi should also get a special Emmy for wiping his mouth afterward. That was an artistic touch!

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Lena Dunham Deleted Twitter Because She Was Getting Sick Of The “Deranged Neocons”

January 12, 2015 / Posted by:

During the red carpet portion of the Golden Globes last night (aka the part where I double-check that I have enough cans of Wine O’Clock to make it through the night), Chip and Dale’s long-lost sister Lena Dunham admitted to wealthy elf Ryan Seacrest that she would not be following the evening’s events on Twitter, because she had deleted it. Sort of a weird choice for someone who really likes to share everything with the world. But Lena explains that she did it because she was tired of people using their 140 characters to hiss rudeness at her:

“I deleted Twitter because I’m trying to create a safer space for myself emotionally. People threaten my life and tell me what a cow I am, so I decided I was going to [cut that out]. So I check it occasionally, but it’s not the same co-dependence that Twitter and I once shared. There’s a lot of people I love on Twitter, but unfortunately you can’t read those without reading deranged neocons telling you you should be buried under a pile of rocks.”

Ryan then responded “You should see what they say about me.” I’m sorry Ryan, but if you didn’t want people dragging you online, you should have never released the Hooker Kraken (the Kardashians) unto the world.

If I was getting non-stop death threats, I’d probably delete Twitter too. The only problem, Lena didn’t exactly delete it. In fact, she Tweeted a clarification shortly after to confirm that she only sort of deleted it:

LenaTweet1

LenaTweet2

That sounds like a system I could use in my own life. As someone whose tweets are riddled with spelling mistakes and really aggressive all-caps rants (“HAM SANDWACHES CAN SUCK MY ASS“), I could use a proof-tweeter. Then again, they’d probably quit after my third Tweet about Bruce Jenner. I don’t blame them.

And the only clarification tweet I really needed from Lena Dunham was the one explaining to my dumb ass what a “deranged neocon” is. Is it an evil Transformer? It’s a Transformer, right? Yeah, I should read more. Here’s more of Lena at the Golden Globes last night looking 900% less like a melting cake than she did at the Emmys, as well as the other girls from Girls.

Pics: Wenn.com, Splash

Blerta Needs To Be An Actual Character On Girls

September 29, 2013 / Posted by:

Tina Fey hosted the season premiere of Saturday Night Live (now with more bright shiny white people!!!) last night and the best skit of the night was their spoof of Lena Dunham’s Whiny White Girl Problems Revue, Girls. There’s been many a time when I’ve rage watched Girls and have said to my best friend (aka the bottle of Barefoot Shiraz that I keep pouring into my cup) that those whiny hos need an abuelita or some other truth teller in their lives to slap them down. Albanian blossom Blerta was that truth teller.

Having truth tellers on Girls should really become a real thing. It would make it one hundred percent watchable and I might even be able to watch it without getting plastered before, during and after (but probably not). One week, Blerta can be Hannah’s roommate, the next week my abuelita (with a bag full of chancletas) and the next week the spirit of Sophia Petrillo. Because somebody needs to tell Hannah that she looks like she shops only at Gymboree and the Oilily outlet.

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The Hottest Boy On Girls Quits Girls

April 4, 2013 / Posted by:

I should correct that title. Personally, I think that Adam is the hottest guy on Girls, because I’m gross and have a thing for long-faced, Afghan Hound-looking dudes who look like they smell like snots and always have crusty sleepies in their eyes. Glad I could clear that up.

Page Six says that Christopher Abbott, who plays Charlie on Girls, figuratively flipped Lena Dunham off, pushed the emergency exit and slid down the inflatable yellow slide to freedom. A source says that as soon as shooting for season 3 started, Charlie and Lena Dunham started fighting about the direction of his character. Season 2 ended (SPOILER ALERT) with Charlie getting back together with the oh-so-pube-pulling-annoying Marnie after he got rich from inventing some app. Christopher Abbot’s rep confirmed that he’s not going to be on the show next season:

“[Chris] is grateful for the experience of collaborating with Lena, Judd [Apatow], and the entire ‘Girls’ cast and crew, but right now he’s working on numerous other projects and has decided not to return to the show.”

A rep for HBO said that Lena Dunham will slap a black curly wig on her right tit and it will resume the role of Charlie.

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